Amen!

I didn’t used to put much stock in having to tell myself truth because I thought once I knew it it was solid and I’d be fine. Hehe, nope!

Thanks ecosson,
Yes! You’ve got it. Truth is truth even when it doesn’t feel like it. And that is something I’ve had to learn, something we all need to learn as we mature. Our feelings aren’t bad per se, but they aren’t to be trusted. God’s Word is solid and true and can be trusted much more than our feelings. So preaching truth to ourselves is really important.

Yes, so true Ruby. I don’t blame fellow homeschoolers for not being there for us… I understand that they were scared and didn’t want my child’s attitudes and behaviour to rub off on their children – but it isn’t always that cut n dried. I think that the homeschool movement has grown a bit in the last several years. The earlier homeschoolers are like you and I, they are now grandparents. They’ve matured and don’t live in fear as much as they once did.

No, it was the constant moving – after awhile I just ran out of puff and couldn’t find the strength and energy to start all over again, thus leaving myself with no support base. My fault but I can’t say I would do things differently if I had a chance to re-do it. Because I only had so much energy.

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

Without depression, David, by the Holy Spirit, would likely not have written so many Psalms along this theme. “Oh why art thou cast down oh my soul and why art thou disquieted in me?”
It is a human condition common to all which some are more prone to than others. The Lord Jesus himself experienced all our human weaknesses and temptation yet without sin. I’m sorry you were not supported by homeschoolers and church people at these times. Along with my family, my friends from both communities have been wonderful support over many dark years and openly embraced me when I suffered the devastation of a prodigal child.
” hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”
(Psalm 42:5)

coffee is wonderful 🙂 a hug in a mug! Looking up what other people have been writing about their experiences with depression has been helping me figure out how to verbalize what’s going on. It’s especially helpful to read it from a Christian perspective. God has been my anchor and is carrying me through this, even on days when it doesn’t feel like it. One thing He’s been teaching me is even though truth doesn’t always feel real, it doesn’t make it less truthful. There are good days and meh days and bad days and God is still good. Praying for you through this 🙂

Hi ecosson, thanks for stopping by. I see we both like coffee 😉

I’ve not really looked up signs and symptoms of depression and I don’t read blogs by other people with depression so I don’t even know how others describe it – I honestly just wrote out a small part of how I feel most of the time. I hope you’re doing well – keeping clinging to The Cross. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by, Marina. I have wanted to write and share for so long… but fear would get the better of me. I already know that there will be friends and family members who will berate me for sharing publicly and for even admitting to myself that I have depression. But I don’t need to be fearful of man, only of God. 🙂

I understand why Christian homeschoolers might have wanted to distance themselves from us. They didn’t want our prodigal’s attitude and behaviour to rub off on their children. But honestly, even after all these years I don’t believe it works that way. I understand that bad company corrupts good company but somehow I don’t think that means all that some people think it means, in the context of raising children. 😉