But I love my children!
So what is it? I use the term teen but don’t call my children ‘kids’. I guess I would not blame anyone for thinking I’m off the planet and contradictory. But in my reasoning it all makes perfect sense.
Yesterday I wrote about the ideas behind the words. The word ‘teen’ is in the numbers from thirteen to nineteen. So using the word teen is fairly logical to me. The idea behind those teenage years need not be ones of rebelliousness, irresponsibility and such. They can be years of developing maturity, responsibility, developing character and more worthwhile traits. As parents we can set high expectations for our teens… if they are to rebel let them rebel against the low expectations that society as set!
Webster’s 1828 Dictionary has a listing for ‘teen’
TEENS, n. [from teen, ten.] The years of one’s age reckoned by the termination teen. These years begin with thirteen, and end with nineteen. Miss is in her teens.
Which brings me to the word, ‘kid’. Webster’s 1828 also has an entry for kid:
KID, n. [L. hoedus; vulgar.]
1. A young goat.
2. A f*ggot; a bundle of heath and furze.
KID, v.t. or i. To bring forth a young goat.
1. To make into a bundle, as f*ggots.
KID, v.t. To show, discover or make known.
The 1913 addition included:
2. A young child or infant; hence, a simple person, easily imposed on.
[Slang] Charles Reade.
(* edited for discretion)
So the term teen was around long before the term kid was being used. However, when I think of ‘kid’ I think of a baby goat. Frolicking around, butting heads, escaping the yard, being stubborn, etc. What do you think of when you use the word ‘kid’? One only needs to go to the store to see children running amok as if they were mountain kid goats rather than well disciplined children. When my children were younger I did call them kids. I’d just never thought about it. After taking Miss A to preschool and observing how many parents referred to their children as ‘kids’ I felt that they had low expectations for their kids. It didn’t set a high bar. It just didn’t seem respectful to me. So I stopped using the word kid and changed to children. (all except in my blog name which was our previous business that we purchased). However, to be fair a dear friend of mine uses the term ‘kid’ regularly and they are very deliberate as parents- in fact I’m sure they are more strict and consistent than we are! Which is why I’m asking in this post… and not telling.
Some believe that the term kid comes from the word ‘kinder’, the German word for children. I’ve seen that some people prefer to use the term ‘lambs’ when referring to their children. Whilst this is a much gentler word picture I just don’t understand why the word children isn’t applicable. Feel free to educate me on the matter, if you’re a reader who uses these terms. To me, it is all slang and whilst I have been known to use more than my fair share of slang, idioms and colloquialisms I want more when I’m referring to my children.
Years ago, this was a slang term… not used in the media or in any professional manner that I remember. Nowadays, it is the norm! Look around news articles, informative magazines, professional documents at the doctor’s office, etc. Kids, kids, kids! Even in our churches!
Whilst I’m all for rebelling against the world’s standards for teenagers, I can’t take to the popular concept of calling my children kids. But maybe you think I’m now majoring on the minors.
I used to have a friend years ago, who always pulled me up when I used the term ‘kids’, for exactly the reasons you have listed. Baby goats. We don’t want our children to be the goats (as scripture says, He will separate the sheep from the goats).
It has always been forever in my mind since that time when I was corrected. I confess to slipping at times, then my conscience gets the better of me. I try to always say ‘children’, however that ol’ habbit dies hard sometimes.
I think there is much merit in what you are saying because, there is so much power in the spoken word… I don’t want to negetively ‘prophesy’ over my children so I try my best to call them as they should be called.
It is so easy to be conditioned into bad habits (from what we hear as children), but there are some things that need to change. Our words are definitely one of them.
Love and bless you my friend :sheep:
I call my children “kids” and your post isn’t the first to make me wonder why. Here’s my thoughts – though your dictionary definition of kids is true (who would argue with Webster!!) there is no ingrain social inference when I say ‘kid’ as there is when I say ‘teen’. As you said in your teen post – the word ‘teen’ isn’t a word, it is an attitude. I guess I just don’t see that with ‘kid’. Maybe it is just too deeply ingrained and I’m not seeing but that is where my thinking is at.
Hi lovely ladies,
Even though you both have different thoughts, you have both thought about the topic before… which is a great thing, I believe.
Belinda, you may not realise it but you were the lady I referenced in the post – the deliberate parent! You do much more character training than we do and seem to be more consistent and diligent in your application than we are… yet you do call your children kids. Which brings me back to the previous post (as you said) is it *the* word or the concept behind the word that is important.
I believer we can call our children ‘children’ yet still speak of them disrespectfully…. yet as you have proved to me, one can call their children ‘kids’ and yet still speak of them with respect.
Not only the idea of the word but the heart attitude behind our words is vitally important.
Like I said, I don’t have all my ‘ducks in a row’. I have not right or wrong way…some of my ways may seem contradictory to others and I get that, unless you were to live in our home and see our daily discussions and interactions.
But it is good food for thought, for those that glibly use the words, don’t you think?
Thanks ladies 🙂
The word Kid just does not imply (only) baby goat to me Susan. I have thought about this— after you raised it some years ago– but it just does not make me feel I am being disrespectful. It is so commonly used and not meant as a derogatory word for children. To me it is actually a warmer word for my “kids” –it has a softer feel to it than “children”. Maybe that’s my Aussie tendency to shorten words or make up nicknames but the word “children” is stilted and distancing to me. I guess part of my feeling comes from my objection to people putting children in a different category—less able, to be treated with less respect, “children should be seen and not heard” sort of thing. Am I making sense?
Hi Louise, Great to see you here! thanks for stopping by.
Did I? I raised this a few years ago? Hehee I totally forgot… just goes to show my memory eh? Sorry if you feel I was harping… I wasn’t. My thoughts have been stirred by some recent forum posts in which I sensed some people being against the word ‘teen’ (stating that they will not ‘have teens’ in their home, etc) yet calling their children ‘kids’. My labeling of the point is that this issue is not a ‘word’ issue rather a heart issue… but let’s make sure our children know what we mean by those words.
Yup, I hear you. A lot of how we each feel seems to come from our associations with the words. when I read Belinda’s blog:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/belindaletchford
I don’t feel at all that she is being disrespectful. Not at all.
Yet when you hear mother’s down the street commenting that that they can’t wait till their kids go back to school or how they’re sick of their kids, etc I wonder if their attitude might soften a little if they were to substitute the word ‘children’ for ‘kids’.
Bless ya… feel free to pop by more often!
oh no Susan you aren’t harping–just consistent :-). It made me think about it a while ago and I appreciated the prompt. I agree about parents wishing their children were back at school. It makes me sad to hear how disconnected they can become. Love ya.
Hi Susan 🙂
I love coming here and reading what you have to say; thought provoking, encouraging and interesting!
I had this discussion recently with a friend who chooses to call her children ‘little lambs’ instead of ‘kids’ and encouraged me to do the same. I respect your thoughts here (and hers too) but when I call my kids ‘kids’ i’m not doing it with a hardened attitude (which i too hear mums do). It’s kind of the same to me as being told that mum is too familiar a greeting and that i should be refered to as mother since that conveys less familiarity and therefore reduces the chance to sound disresectful. My kids every now and then call me ‘ma’, ‘mama’ or mummy but I know their heart and it’s not disrespectful. I guess for me, its the same with ‘kids’. It’s always a heart issue isn’t it; no matter what the mouth is actually saying. Like you said, some people who use the word ‘children’ may still have a bad attitude towards their little charges.
Now having said all that, i used to refer frequently to my kids in cards and things as the ‘kidlets’ just cause i thought it sounded cute! But then God pulled me up on how similar it sounded to ‘piglets’ and I have stopped and now just refer to them as our gorgeous kiddos or kids. I continue to pray though and see if the Lord wants me to change other things I say too.
I thought I’d just jump in and share my thoughts too.
Much love and have an ace Sunday,
Lus x
Hey Lusi,
Thanks for sharing. I think the example you gave about mother/mum is excellent.
hee hee boy have I witnessed some disrespectful mutterings of the word, ‘mother’…yet mum tends to convey a sense of warmth and familiarity. Love it!
It’s in the tone… it’s in the body language… it’s of the heart… it’s an attitude. It’s a heart attitude – youth, young adults or teen… kids, children, kidling or kiddos… so long as we convey what we mean (respect, love, courtesy and warmth) and they each know it is what is important.
It’s always good to examine WHY we do what we do, eh? Thanks gals for exploring this with me. 🙂
Hehehe! No issue here. When we want to talk about the children in a collective sense, we say “girls”.
“Ask the girls to…”
“Are you going to take the girls?”
Etc.
No idea what we would say if we had a mix 😛
One of my favourite sayings of Jesus, is ..”Let the little children come unto me …” I learned from that to call my offspring, children and not kids. Jesus our Lord said, “My sheep hear my voice & know Me.” If we are His sheep then surely, our children are His lambs and ours as well. So my little lambs are precious children and there’s no way that I would refer to them as my ‘kids’. Especially if they are teens. There’s a loving difference when the right words are used. In our culture, the word , ‘Habibi” is used quite often. It means darling.When I say that word to my teen in a loving tone, they accept it with a humble heart. But to refer to them as ‘kids’ in the same tone, just doesn’t go down as well……
Lots of Love, Habibi.
Smiley..