Jen,
Lovely of you to drop by! I like your Tim Tam posts 😉

To eldest son: Your brother is old enough to make his own mistakes. If I have said he can go to the shop on his own then I consider him to be old enough and responsible enough to look out for himself. If you are going with him and he rides ahead then you don’t have to call him back to be close to you like you would have to with your younger brothers. If he causes himself a problem by his actions I would not blame you. He is responsible for himself.

To next son down: Listen to your brother if he calls out as he may be seeing danger that you aren’t but also you don’t have to obey him for petty things because you should be acting responsibly and looking out for yourself.

My main aim is to not have my soft-hearted son trying to rescue his brothers all his life and not let them make their own mistakes. I feel it could cause him a lot of heartache and he needs to let them grow up and learn from their mistakes just as he has to from his mistakes.

He is my challenging kid as he seems to think he was born an adult. A common conversation goes something like this… How much older than you am I? Then do you think in those … years I may have learnt more than you know right now? Good, then listen to me.

Sorry, this was a TimTam reply.

Best wishes
Jen in NSW

Margaret http://2kidschoolhouse.blogspot.com.Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’…

I read a book to my son once and in it, the author wrote that it is fitting for a boy to not be seated at the table until all the females are. well, without any to-do my son has picked up this habit. He waits patiently for me, pulls my chair out, then when I am seated he sits himself down. Oh my, what a gentleman!!!! ‘Course in the next breathe he will respond with a “But that’s what my wife will do when I get one!” (said very cheekily with a wink) when I tell him to do his laundry 😉 I know he’s kidding but nevertheless my husband is keeping an eye on it. 🙂

We really do our children a disservice when we don’t train them toward adulthood.

Blessings,
Susan <><

I don’t want my children to grow in age, and not in responsibility and experience. I want my children to have to face things that will challenge their skill level here in my home, so that when they’re released onto their own.. the challenge of life isn’t overwhelming… it’s just life.

I have a friend whom I love dearly – who never says no to her children. She’s constantly getting up to serve them, to tend to an invisible injury, to appease a child who won’t sit still. She hasn’t a sat through church in years – because she allows her children to keep her hopping at church.. as they do at home. I love her.. but her children drive me batty. They tattle tale on my kids incessantly with little things like, my 2yo bumped her and caused her to spill her water – SO! Go clean it up!
They were all here last week, and drove my kids crazy because they have no concept of what proper respectful play is like. They wouldn’t take no for an answer when they wanted more juice.. or dessert after dinner.. I mean, why should they accept a no from me.. when they’ve never heard the word from their mother!

Don’t get me wrong, these kids aren’t wild and rude.. they just have a mother who dotes on them – and so their boundaries are completely different from mine and as such, expect the world served on a platter… that is.. now that they’ve said their blessing before the meal. And in their family, dad is the “no” guy, but he doesn’t mind if mama says “yes”.

Sombra http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/morelittlewilsons.Barn Swallows II

Eek, what a difference one lil word can make. 🙂

Cheers,
Susan <><

I think there is balance- it is parenting with grace. I’m sure that most parents truly love their children but as you pointed out not everyone has been parented properly themselves so they may not have had the best example.

However, I think that the believer has THE BEST EXAMPLE of parenting, because we’re being parented by THE Father!!! He disciplines us yet shows grace. He *is* grace eh!!! So, I try to parent as God parents me. Naturally I fall short but He is The Ultimate parent. So will we ever have perfect balance? Nope! Probably not eh? But God’s grace will cover that if we keep a humble heart before Him.

IKWYM about the different parenting philosophies. It’s enough to drive a person mad! However, I’ve found that each ‘side’ has something of value to offer (there is some meat on the bones 😉 ) but when taken or applied without grace, it becomes very unbalanced.

So no offence taken even if we don’t agree. Okay?

‘Course I have to say that nowadays…that the Crows aren’t faring so well. LOL.

Susan <