Okay I’m scared. I’ll admit that I’m worried. I’m confused. And I’m stubborn.
We’ve only been here for 12 months. I’m not ready to leave. The children aren’t ready to leave. We have lives here- commitments, relationships. I like being back home. Yeah I know I didn’t really want to come back here a year ago but as soon as we arrived back in SA I was happy to be here.
Did I love Canberra? Yes! Didn’t want to leave.
Did I like Albury /Wodonga? Nope, not really- more than happy to leave.
Did I love Brisbane? Oh boy, did I ever!
But it’s not the point. I’m here now.
I’m not ready for the eighth house in 8 years. I’m not ready for the fourth city in 8 years. I’ll move house but I just want to stay here in this state. Ask me again in another year or two and I might feel differently but for now, I want to stay put! I’m tired of moving and uprooting the family. I’m battle weary from knowing what it does too my children when they have to leave friendships and try to start again. I mean, some people grow up in a town and live there for nearly their whole adult lives- maybe moving once! People fortunate enough to be in that situation will never experience what it is like to say goodbye and start again… and again… and again. We go to new places, trying to break into the friendship cliques that exist everywhere. We know that (generally) people are living their full, rich lives; complete without us. We know that WE need other people – yet their lives are already full- they don’t need us. It hurts and I’m so tired from it.
I don’t believe that people try to be rude…and most people aren’t at all. It’s just hard when trying to break into a group and make new friends, feeling that they share something that you don’t – history. They have a history together. Whilst we can try to get in and forge our own history with them, it’s not always easy, especially if they are aware that we’ll only be around for 12 months or 2 years. Can’t say I blame them, in one sense.
Tired of finding new doctor’s, new podiatrists, new school, new hairdresser, new optometrist, new chiropractor, etc. Even daily/weekly activities become a major event as I have to find the place and navigate there. I’m sick of it. I don’t wanna go anywhere!
This is my official ‘online’ temper tantrum. Believe me, you do not want to see my ‘real life’ tantrum.
Have you been posted elsewhere? Is that what you’re saying? OMG, for your sake I hope I have mis-understood this post :-/
We don’t know. It’s a long story. Isn’t it always with the army? The Copas (compassionate posting) ends in March. We have to be posted somewhere. We won’t get co-pas posting again. There are no positions available here for John’s field. Well, there is but it’s complicated. Red tape. In-house, army politics. They’ve ‘basically’ said we can apply anywhere and probably get it- just not here. I can’t do it again Amanda…not at this moment with my children. John and I could move tomorrow…but not the three eldest children. It’s been too much on them and to even think about doing it again, next month…oi voi.
oh dear :pain:
I’m sorry for you, going through this turmoil my friend. hugs…
prayers. I am sorry you have to go through this. We have lived in three different towns and I know what it is like trying to establish relationships and find services.
I will be praying for you.
Any chance you could come to Country SA? UP north there is Linda and I.
We would help you get settled here.
Hi Susan
I understand how you must be feeling about this….!!!!
As the kids get older and start to build their own lives moving around become impossible!
Is leaving the army an option? I think that I know the answer, especially in these current times.
My heart goes out to you….keep us posted!
xx
Oh we’ve talked about getting out…but it’s just not realistic, not viable at the moment. Not for a few years anyway.
I {{{{{{understand}}}}}, you know I do. The kids are older now and it’s just not the same as moving them around when they are little. S is 17 this year and he has truly dug in his heels here, not because he likes the place so much, but because he has wearied of leaving friends and familiarity behind. He *needs* continuity, routine, a predictable rhythm to his day to day life, but we may have to move on at the end of next year because M’s contract will be finished here. S will come, but he will not be happy at all. And E?? She has given up on the idea of making friends because she lost the knack, it’s just not as easy when you’re a teenager. She doesn’t want to put in the effort ‘again’ only to have to say goodbye.
With all this in mind I am praying for you…I can hear in your writing that you are longing to just ‘be there’.
Hugs to you all.
Thanks Jenny…I know you know. BTDT kind of thing. I know you can relate. No, it isn’t as easy when you’re a teen. I mean, this is OUR decision, our lifestyle, y’ know? But as they get older it isn’t necessarily THEIR choice of lifestyle- to be nomadic. I sympathise with E. I really do. It isn’t easy.
If it were just John and I, I’d be outta here tomorrow, ready for another adventure and sight seeing excursion…but it’s not just us. It’s mainly them that I hurt for- the children.
Thanks for praying for me…it means a lot. 🙂
Hiya Susan
I knew the answer to my question about leaving the army….I’ve figured that it’s not really an option atm.
Is there a chance that there will be an opening for dh so you can stay in Adelaide?
I will be praying for you and this situation.
xx
Oh Susan,
My heart goes out to you … I’ve done my fair share of moving over the years – following hubby where-ever his next job whim took him (!) so I really know where you are coming from. But I haven’t had to move as often as you, nor have I had to do it with older children.
I will be praying for you … that you can accept the situation, and that God has somewhere really great in store for you (with lots of friendly, welcoming people!).
Hugs,
Fee xx
Susan, I hope you don’t dismiss what I say on the grounds that I freely admit I cannot relate (I can’t even image the horror of moving so many times).
But I can relate and do understand, finding myself in a position that is impossible to face. My comfort? He is sovereign. He knows, He allows, He orders your steps. The God who swayed the heart of Pharaoh will not allow those in authority over you to send you somewhere if He wills it not. Just as He protected and cared for the children who went through the Red Sea, He is able to keep, protect and care for your children.
Easy for me to say, I know. But He is faithful.
love and hugs to you, precious friend,
xx
Dear friend, I try hard to not dismiss anything people say just because they haven’t experienced it themselves. I actually believe that an attitude like that is dangerous, immature yet, sadly, a myth that is prevalent in our churches today. So I am trying to hear what you say…and on one level I completely agree with you…but 😉 KWIM? I’m just not there at the moment. I’m too scared and concerned. However, as I love reading and about and learning from the Hebrew nation I will re-read and re-study those passages and hope/trust that my faith will be strengthened in our mighty God.
Love and hugs right back atchya!