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I Lost My Voice

I recently posted that I don’t parent from fear now. And I don’t anymore. But I did. And I see similar actions from young parents- tactics used to control, cajole, manipulate or micro manage their children. I see some parents who are so scared of letting their children make mistakes.

I’ve also met some adults (young and slightly older) who have been parented by these methods. And sadly, they have turned their back on God, rejecting His way and going after a life of fun and temporary pleasure.

Losing my voice

When one of my children was 14 she started to go off the rails. She rebelled against us, God and everyone else that she perceived as authority. And as is typical with this particular child when she does something she does it well – to 100% of her ability. Being such a young age, everyone (friends, church members, other homeschoolers, etc) got to see her rebel against God, family and homeschooling. Suffice to say it has been the most difficult period in my life… but God has been good (of course!) and has revealed Himself to me in a way that I needed.

My daughter did all this early and publicly, or so it felt because I was involved at church and in the homeschool movement. I started to feel like the example – what not to be or not to do. Ouch.

On a personal level, I lost my writing/speaking voice. I totally lost my confidence. I had nothing to say. I felt useless and worthless and as though I had nothing to offer anyone. I felt that people only wanted to hear of the positive, glowing success stories and my child didn’t fit in that mold. Guess what? She still doesn’t. We don’t fit in that mold either. And largely nothing has changed. People still want to hear the glowing, positive reports… until they have a child who starts to look sideways- then my inbox gets busy.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
~2 Cor 1:3-4

Back to those young adults…

Unlike my daughter they appeared to be good, Christian, homeschooled kids… until they hit about 17 or 18 years of age. Things have started to go downhill… very quickly. In fact, some of those young people are doing the things that my daughter was doing years ago. Except my daughter isn’t doing all that any more. She has learned a lot (she still has a long way to go, but that’s God’s job, not mine) and now manages her own home. But these young people I know have now gone off the rails. What’s the difference between my daughter and them? Not a thing. Except they are older and because of that, it doesn’t seem as bad. But it only seems that way because it isn’t as public. But the same attitudes are there; have fun, party hard, hate authority, parents, etc.

But God is a big God.

I was saved by grace. I couldn’t have saved myself. When (not if, but when) my child realises their salvation and has a revelation from God I want them to know the truth – that they are saved by grace, through faith. I know he has a plan and a purpose for my children and their salvation. God is a God of salvation. Redemption is His business!

What have I learned during this journey?

Heaps! But writing concise summations are not my strong point. I don’t know really but a few things come to mind… don’t be too quick to look at others and judge. Don’t look for formulas. Don’t try to micro manage our children. Don’t parent from fear. Accept that I cannot obtain salvation for my child. Accept that I can’t train them to be a Christian. Applying lists and rules and guidelines are just that – lists. Don’t micromanage their attitude but look to their heart and treat it gently, tenderly. Everything I do needs to be seasoned in grace and only motivated by a deep and sincere relationship with the Lord Jesus.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
~2 Corinthians 12:9

Oh, in case you hadn’t realised… I found my voice again!

It’s Not All Up To Me

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
~Philippians 1:6

Throughout most of our homeschooling years I have felt ‘behind’. Not being in the school system nor of the school-at-home approach we have never believed that a child is ‘behind’ yet I put this on myself. I often felt that while others were doing ABC curriculum in Yr 8, we were starting it in Yr 9. I doubted myself and my ability and thought I was letting my children down. But I’ve learned that I didn’t let my children down.

They were learning valuable life skills. The less I do, the more they do. I don’t do anything for a child that he is able to do for himself. (Sure, there are extenuating circumstances but that’s not the point of this post.) It is empowering for a child to be able to do much for himself.

Even being left with no scheduled school work for a short time can be good. It allows the parent ascertain the maturity level of the child and the responsibility or ownership level of the child toward his lessons. Rather than see my character trait as a weakness or a flaw (which can enable the child to use it as an excuse for not getting on with things) I see it as an opportunity. The children have an opportunity to put into practice that which they have been taught!

It’s not possible nor reasonable to train or teach every child every thing they need to learn. I don’t need to do it all. Just as God is perfecting in me His work, so He is with the children. I am not perfecting them – He is. God has begun a good work in me and He will continue it until the Day of Christ.

Prayer

Lord, give me the grace and strength to accept that this verse applies to my children as well as to me.

Reflect

Do you doubt your ability to homeschool? Don’t worry… God will give you His grace and His strength when you ask for it and when you need it.

Fearless Parenting

I find myself being very reflective lately. Maybe it’s because my eldest daughter recently got married or maybe it’s because both of my daughters are out in the big, wide world leaving me at home in a houseful of males. Maybe it’s because my youngest is 14 and I see my homeschooling years coming to an end in the near future. (Considering we’ve been learning at home for 14 years I consider only another 3 or 4 years to be in the near future) Regardless, I’ve had lots of time to think and reflect about my earlier years of parenting.

The challenges of raising a child are as much for the sanctification of the parents as they are for the benefit of the child.
~ Bryan Chapell

Parenting From Fear

Looking back I can see how much I parented out of fear. Of course I didn’t think so at the time but in hindsight I know that it was. The journey I’ve been on was not an overnight one: they rarely are, but it’s been a good one. A journey that The Father knows I needed to learn. Hearing it, parroting it and saying it are totally different to *knowing it*.

I’m not scared any more. But I was. It’s not a good place to be. Too often I tried to control er, influence my little ones. I micro-managed them. At one stage, of which I am ashamed to admit, I even thought I could control er, train their thoughts. I thought I knew what they were thinking by observing their body language. While there is some validity in this, I’ve learned to always expect the best, yet not assume, and give them room to grow and not treat them as though I am the omnipresent Holy Spirit. By trying to look at their heart I became judge and jury- deciding what *I* thought their motive or attitude was and metering out appropriate consequences.

I didn’t want my children to learn by their mistakes. Or rather only with the little mistakes. Like accidentally smashing the brand new fish tank after I told them that it was too heavy and awkward for them to carry. That was fairly easy and I got through that one ok. It was only money at stake.

The real pressure came when the heart issues got involved. Modesty, purity, honesty are all virtues that I care about and they mean more to me than money or possessions. This is where my control freak tendencies started to emerge. I was influenced by certain ‘styles of parenting’. Books, blogs, forums were all vehicles for the legalistic messages of parenting. And I devoured their training. I take full responsibility for that, I’m not trying to cop out. But listening to them exacerbated my problem. I wanted to do the right things, live the right way. I wanted to be a good wife and mum. So I read books and devoured websites until I needed glasses. In my enthusiasm and zeal I was listening to every message I could about striving for the narrow way, the hard way, etc. I read article after article about the high calling of motherhood and being a keeper of the home. I’m not saying these ideals are wrong but I gave them more credence than they rightly deserved.

Homeschooling suport groups and literature can be a vehicle for legalism, fear and comparison. Being fallen creatures (man) we listen to ideals, we like to look up to people- we put others on pedestals… this is fallen human nature. And as thus, any movement can be a vehicle. I don’t say this to be discouraging rather to alert people to the dangers of ANY group/banner/movement/gathering. We need to keep our eyes on The Lord and Him only.

Lessons Learned

I am not God. I am not omnipotent nor omnipresent. Duh! Yet sometimes it can take me years to realise such basic, grassroot lessons.

The beauty of God is that He is God. He will save our children because it is or isn’t His plan. We don’t teach them in His ways for them as much as we do for our own sake! Yup, when I realised that it shook me to the core, but it’s a wonderful truth.

God has shown me the most wonderful things from it all – I am only just beginning to grasp a little of how truly sovereign and immense He is. I knew that before. But know I am coming to really KNOW it.

And lest that sound all rather small and insignificant, let me assure you that it isn’t. It is actually the foundation, the character of who God is. And He is revealing it to me, little by little. Wow, I am gobsmacked at how awesome and big and totally in control He really is. And how totally not in control I am.

The lessons God has revealed to me have been the only thing that keep me going at times. Where once I felt it was all hopeless. What’s the point of doing my best if it doesn’t guarantee that my children will be Christians? All the wrong questions- what is the point, why does it matter… and so on. I was not parenting from the right place though- not from freedom, peace or liberty. God wanted to reach me, to teach me. He wanted to blow my mind with Himself! But He had to wait until I got to the place of emptiness… so that I could listen.

And that is right where God wants all of us to be — totally and utterly dependent upon Him.

This is not hopeless as I once thought. It’s glorious! I can now rest in the fact that He has it all under control. I can stop worrying and just be willing to be used by Him. He does much better work than I ever could.

The relationship I have with my children is all the better for these lessons learned. They are free to live their life, free to make mistakes- any mistakes. Sure I don’t condone all their actions and behaviour but I don’t love them any less for it. Just as Christ died for my sin, He died for theirs too. My children are now free to walk the path that is before them with boldness and strength without fear of condemnation or judgement from me.

I’m not scared anymore. And it’s beautiful. Freeing. Relaxed. And joyful. To parent out of freedom and grace is refreshing. It’s totally liberating!

“God’s initial goal for Christian homeschooling families is not the raising of godly children. Instead, God’s wonderful, but subtly hidden agenda is that the homeschooling experience be so challenging for the parents that they feel the need and hunger for a closer walk with their heavenly Father.”
~Wisdom’s Way of Learning by Marilyn Howshall

Homeschooling thru sickness, surgery & trials

This is our 14th year (give or take several months) of learning at home and in that time we’ve lived through births, deaths, job changes, surgeries, interstate moves, chronic and acute illnesses. Many new homeschoolers or interested people often want to know how we have homeschooled through illness.

Having a Vision for Family

I’ve found it vitally important to have a family mission statement. Knowing why we were homeschooling was vital. Knowing that homeschooling, for us, is a lifestyle, a long term venture allowed me to homeschool throughout illness. That isn’t to say that a short term homeschooler cannot homeschool through trials- but it will look different. That’s why it is important to know why we do what we do. The answer to these questions dictated how we homeschooled throughout the various seasons of life.

Homeschooling, as a natural extension of parenting, is a marathon, not a sprint. I’ve learned to ‘make hay while the sun shines‘. There are times when all is sweet and rosy: we step on the accelerator knowing that sooner or later we will encounter a speed hump or pothole. The beauty of homeschooling is that we can be flexible… we can go with the ebb and flow of the family rhythmn – speeding up, slowing down yet knowing that we will get there in the long run.

Our family is a training ground. Being family based, the children have learned how to care for others, how to be compassionate… how to be a patient (Children being children have all suffered broken bones and the usual childhood injuries). Being at home most of the time has provided many opportunities for the children. They have watched me care for others, they have been the one being cared for. They have also had opportunity to be the carer. Not only did they experience being a patient but they grew in knowledge, understanding and application. Now that, is learning!

Opportunities

I don’t see illness or injury as an interruption to our lesson schedule. It’s all part of life. Life affords us so many learning opportunities, if only we learn to see the value in everything. There’s always something to learn. Making the most of every situation is working smarter, not harder. Homeschool efficiency.

Sometimes it isn’t a learning opportunity as such, rather a ‘doing’ opportunity- to serve, to be hospitable, to display empathy and compassion. An opportunity to grow, practice and develop their gifts and character: creativity, team work, work ethic, imagination, cooking skills, card making, cleaning, etc.

Older Children

If it were not the eldest children who were sick, I would have them help out as much as possible. I wouldn’t work them to the bone. I mean, they were children, not my slaves nor were they adults. But as part of training, it was very helpful all round. The girls learned how to cook and clean and look after others. I also found it helpful for each girl to be ‘a charge‘. I paired the eldest girl with the youngest son, and child two and three together. Sounds weird but it worked wonderfully throughout the years. Each girl would be responsible for helping/serving their charge. Naturally, I had to make sure that no one abused their role. When the boys had to do their hygiene, cleaning rooms, chores, etc. their ‘charge’ would help/supervise them. This gave the girls opportunity to lead, in humility and grace. This also gave them opportunity to grow and develop in patience. It was also beneficial for developing family ties.

A Time for Beauty

During times of illness, injury or trial I did not expect the children to concentrate on writing assignments, ACE paces or heavy schoolwork. However, it was the perfect time to gently nourish one’s mind and soul with beautiful things. Reading the Bible, reading and reciting poetry, listening to classical music, gospel music or hymns, watching good movies, listening to an audio book, handicrafts, outside games and activities, baking, playing board games, are all activities that can be enjoyed during these times. I have found activities that have rhythm to be especially beneficial during those times – trampolining, poetry, hopscotch, elastics and jump rope seem to have a very settling and stabilising effect on everyone and the physical aspect releases pent up energy and encourages happy endorphins.

Obviously not all those activities can be done during illness. When we’ve been ill with a flu or other such sickness all we want to do is watch old movies and listen to audio books, while sipping on Lemon & Honey Tea. I would just do what I could manage without adding stress or unnecessary fatigue. Keeping a sense of peace and harmony is important, especially during illness or trials. However when I have had surgery and am incapacitated for several weeks, I can lead up to the more energetic activities. I would sit outside in the sun, sipping a cup of warm tea and supervise the children in running races or playing on the trampoline. I found that if I could manage this for half an hour in the morning the rest of the day would be more peaceful and restful.

Keep Daily Rhythms

During some times of chronic illness or recuperating from surgery I try to keep some normal lifestyle routines puttering along in the background. This gives a sense of stability…normalcy for the children. Keeping our read aloud going, listening to classical music and Bible reading might be things that I would keep up. If none of us were up to reading aloud then I’d pop in an audio book or listen to the Bible on tape. Classical music, hymns and other soothing music are beneficial and soothing.

Getting Back Into It

Eventually, there comes a time when we had to institute lesson time again. I found it hugely beneficial to combine many subjects. Learning history via good, living books. Not only were we learning about history but we were also doing literary studies and English (Language Arts).

From the living book I would choose a passage and have the children copy it, word for word. This is known as copywork. I would also have each of the children take turns in reading parts of the book aloud as well as ask them to tell back the story in their own words, which is known as narration.

Rethink Relearn

We had only been homeschooling a few years when I had major surgery, with several months of recovery. I’m really grateful for that time as I learned to think outside the box! I was forced to be aware of all the learning opportunities and activities that real life offers. I learned that family, friends, the Internet, books, games, maps, T.V., doctor visits, grocery shopping, dentist appointments and the like are the lesson! Our daily routine, living in this world offers much if I’m willing to be a student.

It’s easy to listen to others- family or friends and even other homeschoolers. But honestly, it doesn’t matter what others say. I learned the hard way not to be swayed by other homeschool families. It’s better to thoroughly talk things out with my husband, decide upon our family mission statement and then be guided by the Holy Spirit.

“Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who will receive good things from my Father. Inherit the kingdom that was prepared for you before the world began. I was hungry and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you gave me clothes to wear. I was sick and you took care of me. I was in prison and you visited me.’ “Then those who are righteous will reply to him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger and welcome you, or naked and give you clothes to wear? When did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “Then the king will reply to them, ‘I assure you that when you have done it for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you have done it for me.’

Matthew 25:34-40

Do you have any tips or advice for homeschooling through tough times?

Homeschooling thru sickness, surgery & trials

Having a Vision for Family

Homeschooling, as a natural extension of parenting, is a marathon, not a sprint. I’ve learned to ‘make hay while the sun shines‘. There are times when all is sweet and rosy: we step on the accelerator knowing that sooner or later we will encounter a speed hump or pothole. The beauty of homeschooling is that we can be flexible… we can go with the ebb and flow of the family rhythm – speeding up, slowing down yet knowing that we will get there in the long run.

Opportunities

Older Children

A Time for Beauty

Keep Daily Rhythms

Getting Back Into It

Rethink Relearn

“Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who will receive good things from my Father. Inherit the kingdom that was prepared for you before the world began. I was hungry and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you gave me clothes to wear. I was sick and you took care of me. I was in prison and you visited me.’ “Then those who are righteous will reply to him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger and welcome you, or naked and give you clothes to wear? When did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “Then the king will reply to them, ‘I assure you that when you have done it for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you have done it for me.’

Matthew 25:34-40

Do you have any tips or advice for homeschooling through tough times?

Grace in the Garden

Were Adam and Eve sent to the Naughty Corner?

A Garden of Grace

If you’ve been reading your Bible for a few years I’m sure you’ll nod along in agreement when I ask if you have ever read a passage many times and yet one day, a point just jumps out and smacks you in the face. That happened to me again recently. I don’t know the amount of times we have read Genesis. We’ve read it, copied selected passages, read a few commentaries and read other works that tie in with it.

I’ve always known that God showed great grace in the garden of Eden. But this passage blew me away when I read it. I rushed to share it with my children the next morning.

The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them.
Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”– therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.
Genesis 3: 21 – 24

I’ve always seen that God made the first sacrifice. Sin brings about death. We know that Adam and Eve deserved an instant death yet God slaughtered the substitute (which he provided) and covered the sinner’s shame. (Atonement)

But awhile ago, the Holy Spirit showed me something further of God’s grace. I’m sure it’s not new to you… and you might think it shouldn’t have been new for me having been a believer for over 20 years but this just slapped me in the face as I read it.

… Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever“– therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden…

The world yearns for eternal life… and that promise is for the believer in Christ Jesus- those who have salvation by His name. But can you imagine eternity in that fallen, depraved state? Imagine eternity with no hope of deliverance, filled with sin, removed from right relationship with God? Ugh! So God sent them out from the garden. He didn’t banish them as a punishment (He’s not SuperNanny sending us to the Naughty Corner) rather He was extending grace and mercy to them again. Banishing them from the garden was an act of merciful grace – thereby preventing them from being sustained forever (in their depraved, fallen state) by the Tree of Life. God the Provider. God the Protector.

And that is my life story too. Fallen, wicked, depraved and sinful was I, till He drew me unto Himself. He revealed Himself to me, leaving me with little choice but to believe and repent. (I could have seen the revelation of Him and tried to run but He is patient and gentle and brings things about in His right time) He provided me with a covering cloak through the atoning work of Jesus Christ- a substitute on my behalf.

I could write more and more about God’s merciful grace… but I’d rather you read the chapter again and dig into it anew, looking for God’s merciful grace in the beginning. And when you find it, please share with me.

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy,
to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.
~Jude 1:24-25

Homeschooling is…

Monotonous. Complicated. Draining. Being loved. Discipline. Curriculum. Open. Hard. Honest. Real. Brutal.

But

Homeschooling is also…

Life. Meaningful traditions. Radical. Loving. Relationships. Caring. Simplicity. Books. Teaching. Learning. Nurturing. Friendship. Observing. Mentoring. Freedom. Sharing. Memories. Reading. Fun. Cooking… and Eating. Purpose. Spontaneous. Grassroots. Community. Delightful. Energising. Interests. Discipleship. Beautiful. Privilege. Legal. Responsibility. Laughing. Love. Family.

Homeschooling grows…

Strong family relationships, highly valued home and family life; happy children who love learning; happy adults who love learning!

I Will Never

I will never send my children to a public school.

Our children will not ‘date’… they will ‘court’.

We will never eat… pork.

We will never sing choruses.

I will never have XYZ [insert medical procedure] done.

We will never use workbooks in our homeschool.

No child of ours would ever disobey me. Our girls will never wear shorts, pants, t-shirts, etc.

My child will never do drugs, drink alcohol, smoke, swear … [or XYZ].

Have you ever heard those type of definitive statements before? Maybe you’ve uttered those type of statements before. I have.

But life… the experience of life is teaching me to never say never, especially with things that are not within my own control. Not the easiest when, for many years, I strove to get ‘in control’ of my house, my behavior, my children, etc. What I failed to understand was that I cannot and should not be controlling my children’s every action, thought or attitude, especially once they get older and into their teen years.

When we first started to home educate I loved the lifestyle. I loved what it did for our family. I searched the Scriptures and could see how the family was the model or institution that God had designed for life long learning. In my haste and naiveté, I remember proclaiming, “Our children will never attend a school!“. Oh dear, if you know God and His nature you can well imagine the lessons He had in store to teach me. Fast forward a few years and one of my children asked to go to school… keep fast forwarding and you’ll see that she started at a private, Christian school and ended up at a public school.

In our homeschool adventure, we had learned the value of living books and the Charlotte Mason method and I recall thinking, “Oh, we will never use workbooks ever again.” Oh dear, you can see here I was headed. Fast forward a few years and the boys learned a lot through their time on ACE Paces.

Then came the upper or teen years. You know the ones where girls start noticing boys and boys start noticing girls. Well, we had read and researched all about ‘courtship’. And being that we ourselves didn’t practice ‘Christian dating’ thought it a wonderful idea. Certainly none of our children would have a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’. Surely not! Surely…. Surely? Oh dear. I think you’re starting to get the picture. 😉

Why am I so slow to understand and apply the lessons the Lord wants to teach me?

Yes, I am Susan and I’m a control freak. Actually I now think of myself as a recovering control freak. I may always have those tendencies but I’m learning to deal with them properly. I liked to think that I could control things… things which, as a Christian, seem okay to control like my children, our homeschooling, etc. But I’ve learned that my control freak tendencies grew like tendrils of a weed … seeking to climb over flowering plants and eventaully drown out the sun (or is that Son?) .

My prayer from 2007… and is still my prayers today.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

When Joking Hurts: A Lesson from Proverbs

I’ve often been asked to share what our Bible study looks like using our methods as outlined in a Bible Based Education. Here is a quick lesson. Bear in mind that I didn’t write this lesson plan before hand…I was reading it in my Bible during my quiet time and thought it was too good (read: relevant) to not share with my children. 😉
Some times we go more in depth with our study and at other times this is it! It isn’t about the time spent nor the amount of work covered – it is a heart issue. So, here’s a lesson from Proverbs.

Verse:

“Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!”

Proverbs 26:18-19

“Ha, you’re hair looks real ugly like that sis!” followed by “Nah…only joking.”

Ever heard this kind of thing? I’ve heard it in my own home. I used to think I was just old fashioned or prudish but then I read Proverbs 26 and saw that I wasn’t alone! God has thoughts on it too! So I decided to share this lesson with my children. I’ll try my best to write it out as it happened, using the 4 step process. It isn’t word for word but I’m sure you’ll get the gist of it.

Four step Lesson Process – learn more here

Introduce

We’re all sitting around the kitchen table. I grab my Bible and say, “Hey guys, let me share this with you…what I was reading this morning.”

I read Proverbs 26: 18-19.

Then I ask them “Can you imagine what it would be like to have a wild man, a lunatic, running around shooting people with a gun? Horrendous! Can a mere ‘joking’ excuse that lack of self control?”

Digging Deeper

We use words, tone of voice and facial expression to convey a meaning. Are we guarding our tongue if we just let all manner of dribble spew forth and then think we can excuse it by adding a quick “only joking” at the end?

Read the passage 3 times, in different translations.

Discuss: Our words can be ones of comfort and encouragement or ones of hurt.

Cross-reference by using your concordance to look up other passages on ‘the tongue’. (We use my Thompson Chain Reference)

Share your findings.

Expand & Elaborate

Choose an activity from the Activity Sheets: e.g. Copy the proverb out in your best writing or- What can you learn from this story/book/passage?

Remember our family saying: If it’s not fun for all, then it’s not fun at all. Discuss further.

Application

Write in your Devotional Journal.

Is there an attitude or behaviour that I should avoid? Share.

Pray that Father God will help us to guard our tongue as we seek to glorify Him in all things.

Notes: The children narrated the passage to John over the evening meal. Later on in the afternoon, without making mention of this mornings lesson, I related the story about the boy, the fence and anger issues.

I also strewed the ‘Watch your words’ quote on the fridge.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I use the 4 step lesson process very naturally. You can download lesson templates and more in the download section.

Consider Our Ways this New Year

Consider your ways!
(Haggai 1:5)

Life… it’s full of new beginnings! Unlike yesterday, today is the beginning of a new year. Who knows what this year will bring each family? God, the author and finisher of our faith does!

I love a new year. I like new starts. Maybe that’s why I get itchy feet and don’t mind moving regularly, I don’t know but I love fresh beginnings. Each new year reminds me of a time way back, before the history books began, even before Creation – to when Christ was.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God.
John 1:1-2

I love my husband and my children. I love my dad. I love my friends. However, they too, like me, are flesh and blood. I do not know for how long I will toil upon the earth nor how long my loved one will either. I cannot trust in them for everything- for my safety, provision, joy, happiness nor salvation. But I can trust in Jesus… who was the Word and was with God and was God.

God has a plan, a purpose for every single life. Moses, John the Baptist and the Apostle Paul were no doubt men of God but were they exceptions? God gave them specific missions. But are we not sent from God also? Do we not have a message to share? Am I doing what He wants me to do each day? Am I living with a sense of purpose? Am I living intentionally?

How To Find Purpose

There have been countless books with with much pop psychology for eager persons to devour…but they make much out of something quite simple… that which may not be easy (because we so often live by the flesh) but simple. I will find my work, my mission, my purpose, by living in obedience and submission to the Father! He does the preparing of me… He will lead me into that purpose in the right time. My duty is to keep obedient to Him and submit every part of my life to Him. He requires me to act justly, to love mercy and kindness and to walk in constant, sweet fellowship with Himself.

Do I know what my purpose is? Have I set my goals and plans for 2011 according to His ways, to His plan?

Looking Ahead

It’s the last day… of the year 2010 and this is a re-post from last year with a few updates.

I’ve reviewed the year…various aspects of our life and family. Yes, I’ve taught manners, English, Maths and Science. I’ve taught life skills, domestic skills, health, fitness and Bible study. It’s been a pretty good year for us in terms of academics and growth. But it’s also been a hard year, filled with ups and downs, hurts, disappointments- in general this year has been a hard slog. But there’s little to be gained from bemoaning all that… tis better to look ahead!

Do you love me?

But what of these are my greatest passion to share? Have I shared my greatest passion with my family? What is my passion? I can say it but is it true? Is my greatest passion truly Christ? Do I love Him before all else?

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.”

He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.”
John 21:15-16

Feed my lambs

Have I fed the lambs that God has entrusted to my care? Have I fed them Christ Himself? Have I opened up God’s word and shown them Christ… have I taught them to love God, to trust Him and to do His will by way of a living example?

Feed the lambs… tend the sheep. Have I loved the children with a shepherd’s love? Love, protection, guidance and provision of needs is very important but they also need Soul-Food … the pure word of God.

Follow Me (v19)

Evaluation, assessments, outcomes all look for fruit but the truest form of learning in the life of a believer is to follow Christ. Knowledge, even of spiritual matters, may have some value but it does not attain for us that much needed salvation. The outcome of seeing and knowing is living and doing.

All year I have seen Jesus through the gospels. I’ve read His words. Now I need to follow Him. This past year with all its ups and downs cannot be changed. And whilst this past year has been quite a difficult one for our family we are still here, walking the road one step at a time, thanks be to God. I want to learn from my mistakes but I also know that regrets are a waste of time and energy.

However a New Year is upon me. The only way for it to be better is by following Christ more closely – to go where He leads, without questioning or rationalising. I don’t know what 2011 will bring for me or our family. It may be a year of struggles, of trials, of suffering or it may be a year of joy and peace…it may be a year of all! That is not mine to question – my only duty is to obey and follow Him.

As I close this year on my blog I’ll enter a new one – 2011. I want this next year to be fruitful, peaceful and beautiful…not by my circumstances or my surroundings but my walk with Jesus.

Wifey Wednesday: Greeting Him

For awhile now I’ve wanted to take part in the Wife Wednesday meme but Sheila posts on Wednesday US time, which is Thursday here in Australia. I’ve contemplated a few ways to get around it but the easiest way is for me to post on last week’s topic. So that’s what I’m going to do!

Last week Sheila wrote about saying hello and greeting one’s husband.

John’s homecoming from work is a pivotal point in our day. Our other activities hinge around this point. Being a SAHM has allowed me to prepare for John’s arrival from work. Since we’ve been back here in SA he has to travel an hour to and from work on a very windy and dangerous road. I like to have the kettle warmed and something to eat for him. I try to look fairly presentable and not to be too busy with my own things for when he gets through the door. Doesn’t always happen and he is fine with it, but it is my focus point.

Throughout the years his homecoming has looked different but that’s because family life always looks different, depending upon the season of life we’re in… and the ages of the children.

Currently, we (those who are home) zip around the house and do a quick tidy about 4.30pm. John gets home about 5pm and the boys go outside and help him in with his stuff. I greet him at the door and we share a quick kiss while the boys make us a cuppa. Then we all tend to congregate in the lounge-room and share about our day. This is quite possibly my favourite time of the day. I want home to be a special place, a place where family members love to be and greeting them is an important part in building this.

When the children were little I encouraged each child to think of something special that only they could do for daddy. It was to be their job for when he got home. This wasn’t done in a slavish way instead I used it as a training opportunity… to teach the children how to show appreciation and how to think of others. One of the girls would make the cuppa’s while the other would make sure that John’s chair and ‘area’ were tidied. Now that the girls are older and either left home or not home when he gets home it is the boys turn. It isn’t about being male or female, it’s about showing appreciation and serving one another.

I try to ask John how his day has been and give him plenty of room to talk before I start blabbing on about my day. Of course being the talker that I am this doesn’t always work. Sometimes it seems that he doesn’t even want to talk about his day and – maybe he doesn’t! Other days he does. It’s all fine with me… I have come to accept that he doesn’t need to flap his gums as much as I do.

This might all seem a little extreme to some but I know what I like and don’t like when I’ve been out for a few hours or even away from the home. It’s nice to have my loved ones take a little effort and let me know that they missed me and that they think I’m a bit special. And my man is special… I enjoy showing him my love and appreciation.

Homeschool Phony

I am a homeschool phony.

Or rather that was how I felt. About five years ago one of my daughters approached me and asked THAT question. You know the one… that one question that can evoke more emotions than I care to count: hurt, fear, anger, sadness, a sense of betrayal…
Boom. Boom. Boom.

How could such a question come from MY child’s mouth? Surely if she understood how much sacrificed, how much I’ve invested into her she wouldn’t be able to ask THAT question. Surely?

But she did. And not once. Not twice. Repeatedly.

You know the question, don’t you? I’m sure I’m not the only one who used to dread it.

“Can I go to school”?

How can those five little words carry so much weight?

[I wouldn’t have minded so much if it were my decision (remember me- the control freak?) but.. but.. but..that’s another story for another time]

So to cut a long story short, this beloved daughter eventually trooped off to school. It’s been a few years now and I’ve had lots of time to ponder why my reaction was so deeply emotive. There is no one reason. It’s not that simple. It is enough to say that along with the fear, anger and hurt were also issues of pride. Oh my, what would people say? Would they be shocked? Surprised? Would they look sideways with that knowing glance that shouts, “I knew it wouldn’t last”? Oh dear, what would other homeschoolers think? Have we let the homeschooling community down?

A few years later and I can honestly say that only some of my initial feelings were valid. Most of them were selfish and sinful. And God has been revealing them to me- showing me the ways in which I tried to camouflage and hide them. But they can’t be hidden from God. And honestly, we do nobody any favours when we try… least of the very parents that we often want to help the most.

Fast forward a few years and here I sit… still homeschooling my younger two children (The eldest has graduated. She is now 19). I am so thankful for the opportunity to be at home with my children and to have contributed to the AussieHomeschool community. I love homeschooling! I believe in it! Can you tell? However, there are so many myths that surround homeschooling. I don’t mean the average, run-of-the-mill myths that society believes. I mean the myths that we (as homeschoolers) buy into. We buy into them because we want what we believe it will deliver. And, like many people who invest greatly into something, we will work hard to justify that investment. But in doing so we can hurt each other by perpetuating the myths. It has to stop. We have to stop. We’re hurting our own.

As a parent with a child who has been to school I have seen all kinds of parents. Most parents I have met all have one thing in common. They all want the best for their children! But school parents have one thing that we (as homeschool parents) do not. One thing that we can learn from. They are not afraid to share the turmoils. They don’t seem to be afraid of other parents. They don’t have an overwhelming sense of judgment and condemnation from their fellow parents. I envy that.

As I have shared about my teen’s rebellion and difficulties I have had many others share with me privately. And let me tell you, there are heaps of Christian, homeschool parents who are going through similar things with their teens but they are scared to speak it out loud. They often thank me for doing so… but they fear the condemnation and sense of judgment and it prevents them from sharing about it! How sad is this? How wrong is this?

Not everyone travels a rocky path with their teen. My 19yo daughter transitioned from childhood to puberty to adulthood with only a few potholes along the way. She has fully accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour and is a lifelong learner. My two boys? Ask me again in a few years. 😉 However, I know that everyone’s journey is different and that’s the way it should be. There is no one right way to homeschool. There is no one perfect example of a homeschool student. It’s a myth. One of many.

Not everyone wants to share their journey. I get that. But I am a sharer. I love to share. But I have wrestled with sharing my journey as it affects more than just me. It affects the child and all the others in the family as well. I’m not about to start going into graphic details. No one needs details… I just want to be honest about our ups and down of the homeschooling journey (and the parenting journey). I don’t want to wear a mask or a protective, flame-retardant suit. Then again, I’m not about to be stark naked either- after all, this is a public blog open to all.

So there you have it. For a few years I felt like a homeschool phony. It truly knocked my confidence. But a few things have happened since the beginning but since learning that many of my previous beliefs were ‘homeschool myths’ I don’t feel like a phony anymore. I am free.

The control freak returns

As the children wave goodbye to their father a monster returns. The motherly Control Freak.

This is just how you picture me, isn't it?

On Friday I drove my husband… to work! He always jokes that I drive him mad but I only drove him to work 😉

He is part of an exercise that is heading away up north for six weeks. They are driving heavy duty trucks. 76 of them! I wouldn’t want to get stuck behind them on the highway as they have a speed limit of 75km/h. Yesterday the convoy drove for 12 hours and travelled a whopping 450 kms. Glad I’m at home. They are taking one week to get to their destination, 4 weeks there and another week to get home. I hate it when he goes away, I feel like half of me is missing. Plus, he’s getting too old for all this. He enjoys working in his workshop and doing all that he does but the adrenalin rush of these exercises wears a bit thin after the 100th time.

The other day the children and I were discussing the fact that Dad was going away for 6 weeks and I asked them a question.

Me: “You know what it means when dad goes away, don’t you?”

Master J replied, “Yes Mum, it means the house goes into lockdown.”

Hehee, I had to laugh. I can see why he would say that.

When I am responsbile for everything in the home I do things differently to John. Last time he went away for some length of time I wrote about my thorn in the flesh and how I handle (or struggle) with things. I sometimes struggle with law and grace when I have responsibility on my shoulders.

This ‘lockdown’ involves more rules. It’s how I cope. Quite possibly I have control freak tendencies, which is not good. Needing to control everything is not a biblical attitude. When this spills over to wanting to control my children then I am in dangerous waters. I have often thought though, that many homeschool mums are prone to this way of thinking though. Oh I believe it comes from a pure motive – we desire the very best for our children… but that control freak attitude is something that God wants to deal with.

I like to control things. I like to feel like I am in control of my family, of my homeschool. As the children get older, I see that this can lead to some problems if we continue in these thoughts/ attitudes. We cannot and should not control our children’s thoughts. Controlling their environment to the point where we are controlling their attitude is not healthy and does not raise adults. It raises mini children, incapable of truly thinking for themselves but parroting the things they believe we value. Control cannot achieve what we want it to. reaching the heart is a more scary way to go about it. But that means giving up our need to control.

Husbands carry a lot of weight on their shoulders. They bear a lot of responsibility. As a wife it can be easy for me to not recognise this and just keep piling more things on his shoulders. Times like this can show me exactly how much my husband carries and I become really thankful and appreciative of him. I can’t wait till he comes home again.

Back to basics homeschooling

I’m so glad that I’m not beginning the homeschool adventure now. When I started it was a tad lonely. All networking (if it could be called that) was done via word-of-mouth and (gasp!) old fashioned letter writing and monthly newsletters! I remember fondly hearing of a family in Adelaide who homeschooled… so I hunted them down. 🙂 The family didn’t mind at all as they also liked getting together with other’s to talk about home education. Can you imagine my delight when I found out that this family also had a homeschool supply business, mainly supplying good living books? Oh my! I was in heaven.

Back then, there wasn’t a load of information available. Various families would share all the scraps of information they had. Homeschooling books would be mailed all over the country, from one family to another as they were simply hard to come by. I was part of a family based newsletter. Once a year it was our turn to write the newsletter – describing activities we had participated in and resources we were using and good books and finds throughout that year. I printed about 34 copies of the newsletter and sent them to each family on the mailing list. It was such a delight to receive a family newsletter once a month. I would eagerly tear open the envelope and sit outside in the sun with a fresh, hot cuppa to devour the newsletter. Now many of you may laugh at how primitive it all may seem but there were some advantages to this simple, basic style of homeschooling.

I didn’t know a lot about ‘learning styles‘. I didn’t know much about scope and sequences or anything else. I had a few workbooks. Ewww yuck! But before you exit the page let me tell you what was so good about those days.

Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
DEUTERONOMY 6:4-9

Not having multiple resources for each topic within a subject meant that I had to use whatever was available to me- regardless of if it suited our learning style, teaching style or even our beliefs! I had to make do. I had to get between the resource and the child. In other words, I learned to naturally adapt the material while teaching each child. I didn’t need to read a book or do a course on learning styles. By interacting with my child I naturally learned how they learned best. It was truly a natural process.

One child preferred a just-the-facts-ma’am style book while another preferred living books. One child narrated back easily while the other struggled. As a parent who is concerned for her children I simply naturally addressed those needs. I was very aware of those needs because of the close, one-on-one interaction I had with each child.

Many teachers in a school setting don’t get to choose their materials and even when they do, they still must use the curriculum as a tool, as they cater to a wide variety of learning styles. I believe that attitude, motivation and teaching the child how to be a self directed and lifelong learner is much more important than learning styles and finding the perfect curriculum or resource.

One thing I taught my children early on is to have an “I Can”, “I Will”, “I Ought” motto. I don’t want to hear any excuses like, ‘it’s too hard’ or ‘can’t I use another resource?’. Adaptability, diligence, perseverance, self control, thankfulness and hard work are just a few character traits that can be learned throughout the process of tending to lessons.

I have learned that my children will do just fine without the latest curriculum or program. They can still thrive even though I’m a far-from-perfect mother… so long as I am *with them*- sharing my life with them. Want more reading on this? Read the article series by Robin Sampson.

Back then, we didn’t ‘do’ homeschooling. We simply learned things together. Homeschooling is a natural extension (continuation) of parenting.

I had very few homeschooling resources. I had less distractions.

Now, I have far too many resources. And many, too many distractions.

I’m quite glad that I’m not a homeschool newbie. It all looks too overwhelming for me.

Composition, the HomeGrownKids way

Originally posted in Jan, 2006

Writing Strands, Write with the Best, Institute of Excellence in Writing…do we need a text or curricula in order to instill a love of writing in our children? Do we need to use it every week, every year? Surely there’s an easier way?

A lot of homeschool curricula available turns writing into a totally separate, and sometimes scary, subject, where one is asked to write on topics such as, “My Summer Holiday” or “A Pencil”. (And I’m not kidding!) When I was in grade school, at the beginning of each new school year, I was supposed to turn in a paper titled, “My Summer Holidays”. Well, I couldn’t even remember or talk about something so broad and vast, let alone write about it. Consequently, I was often told that I ‘couldn’t’ write. Many years later, I have found that this simply isn’t true! I know that now but it has taken me years to realise that I love to write, when I have a topic that I’m interested in. I certainly do not want to burden my children with similar experiences. I write because I want to – I feel I have something to say (whether or not you agree with me, the point still stands eh?) A child has to want to write! A child must have something to write about! Most children love to talk, yet they often dry up when we put a pencil in their hand. My goal is to try and capture some enthusiasm for a topic and help them so that they can taste success and feel a sense of achievement at seeing their own real words in print.

I haven’t taught any formal writing skills in the home yet. I have embraced Charlotte Mason’s philosophy when she says that teachers shouldn’t burden students by drilling or repetitive exercises in writing or composition. Just because a child is in a certain grade or is a particular age has very little to do with ‘readiness’ or development. I don’t expect my children to just ‘be’ great writers. I do want to provide an atmosphere that will nourish their minds with ideas and vocabulary, provide generous exposure to great books and to be a good writing’ model, while offering encouragement to my own children. My goal is to have children who love to write and who are able to communicate their thoughts, feelings, convictions and beliefs so that readers will understand what they are saying. I would like my children to be able to communicate descriptively, persuasively and informatively. Volume One- Home Education by Charlotte Mason has examples of how not to teach composition. (p. 244-247)

I believe that oral narration is the beginning of composition! I don’t require any [creative or individual] writing until a child is somewhere between the ages of 10 and 12, depending on each child’s individual development. Nevertheless, the child is learning the basics of composition through the art of narrating. When they are ‘ready‘ I start the transition from oral to written narration. By this time, they’ve heard copious amounts of quality vocabulary, punctuation, grammar and sentence structure by listening to good books being read aloud- either by a family member or books on tape. They have practiced these skills via copywork and dictation.

Narration is more intellectually powerful than any curricula and it is never too late to start! You can see the narration prompts (now called my Activity Sheets) and use them orally to encourage thinking and verbal skills. Even though we ‘can’ use a book to learn and practice many things, (narration, copywork, grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc) we can still have a holistic approach. I try not to compartmentalise English or Language Arts and composition is a part of this. It needn’t be broken down into indigestible pieces that the child isn’t able to use in his own real world. The effectiveness of this model follows in the literary steps of the great writers.

Language begins with imitation – from infancy onwards… imitating talk and then from good books written by great writers. There is nothing wrong or un-original in studying and copying the ‘greats’. This is the modeling process. It is this process that will give a child a wonderful, rich foundation in which he is free to develop his own literary style. (Karen Andreola talks of this in The Charlotte Mason Companion on p 144). As the budding writer continues this form of imitation, copying from many of the ‘greats’ then his own writing will be influenced and he will begin to develop his own original flair.

I’ve found that the early stage (aged approximately 6-10 years) is a time to focus on oral narration. In the later years is when I spend some time in the transition period from oral to written) and then later again I try to teach some further basic and helpful skills, such as note-taking, outlining, summarising, etc. In the last few years, we’ll be focusing more on essay and report writing. Marilyn Howshall has separated the development stages by calling them the following:

Collecting stage
Processing stage
Communicating stage

In the Collecting Stage, we focus on copywork and oral narration. The children will copy and write thank you and birthday cards, letters to friends and relatives and do selections of copywork from our copywork binder. They start with a basic journal in which they record their chores and lessons completed, daily habits and the weather. They may progress to writings some of their thoughts. I’ve found that a scrapbook or notebook can be a wonderful way to simulate interest in recording and writing but I try to let the individual do this and not force it upon them. We try to do a little something each day that we do lessons. I will have the children give an oral narration from their lesson books which will be either the Bible, history, geography, nature study, science or literature (fables, poems, short stories, etc.) When I am scribing for them, I will have them narrate paragraph by paragraph. This collecting stage is where the child is collecting images, thoughts, ideas, vocabulary and knowledge. Miss Mason writes a section on composition and the younger child here in Volume 6, p.190

The Processing Stage is often an area where some homeschoolers start to look for curricula as they feel a need for ‘structure’. But is it really necessary? I once thought so and went through a spending spree on writing curricula. Now though, I actually find it easier to transition from oral to written narration rather than scheduling in another workbook. I think this is the most exciting stage of all! Here’s how we’ve tried working within the transition stage. (transitioning from oral to written narration)

I explain to the child the what, how and why of what we’re trying to do- telling him that I’d like to see him try to put pen to paper. I might ask him to rewrite in his own words (narrate) a Bible passage, poem or fable. And of course, I try to offer lots of praise and encouragement!

On another day, we might try another way: I’ll have the child narrate to me as I scribe or type and then he will rewrite or copy it out from my copy. We may or may not edit this together. This is the child’s words- their own writing!

I’ll have the child narrate from such books as, Just So Stories, Parables of Jesus, or Aesop’s Fables as these are filled with metaphors (word pictures) which are wonderful for a child’s imagination and stimulating creativity, which in turn, is good for developing writing style.

Then, the child may try to put his thoughts or narration of the story on paper all by himself. It is during this, that I expect narrations to be short and disjointed but I try to be patient. This is comprehension and sequencing (processing, sorting) hard at work!

Also during the Processing Stage I’ve also found it very beneficial to have the children write as much as they can in a non-pressure, informal way – write down shopping lists, birthday cards, letters to friends and relatives. The reason that I have put the birthday cards and thank you’s here is that some of my children have put themselves under immense pressure with writing cards and such, thus ending in tears. In the earlier stage I have them write these things from copywork. I’ll write the appropriate greeting on paper and then copy it onto the card with my help. Also helpful has been a blog. Yes, each of my children have a blog. Receiving comments is a positive encouragement and the children just soak up that positive reinforcement. Again, this comes back to the principle of modeling. Our children will copy what they see as important to us. Do my children see me reading and writing?

After this is where I’ve had my child just write anything…just get the thoughts flowing onto the paper. I try to aim for writing like this three or four times a week. I’ve since learned that Julie from BraveWriter does this and has given it a name. She calls it Freewriting.

Also during this stage, I teach the child to use the various handbooks and guide that we have. This is part of handing their education over to them- it starts to become their education. Here, I also incorporate a few lessons from Write with the Best as well as I teach a basic unit on writing a project – (now called Observation Sheet) Often my children have enjoyed doing their project and having something nice to keep in their binder. I also start to teach basic outlining, project writing and mind-mapping which are a basis for good study skills.

It is also during this time, that I try to select a varied genre for copywork and books to read aloud. Who knows what may stimulate an interest? We may read a genre that we haven’t previously read yet but it will introduce the child to a different style and unusual vocabulary- all of which they can imitate and add to their writing foundation.

I will start dictation toward the latter part of this stage, as I sense the child is ready. We’ll try to do copywork twice a week and then I’ll dictate the same passage twice a week.

Written narration is a skill and it isn’t necessarily an easy one to master although it will come with practice. Sometimes this transition period can be hardest on the parent. Frustration could be an issue for both child and mother! I try to relax and remember that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint. When we’re working through a transition period, I try to scale down requirements in some other areas, allowing them to focus and really apply themselves without getting overwhelmed. Often I’ll require less in a subject that they continually struggle with. This is also an important step for me. I don’t need to be stressing over everything but I do want to be patient and encouraging during this time. I try to remember that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step I don’t want to be overly involved and correct every little error as I feel that may have a negative effect on the student. Nevertheless, there are some basics that I ask the children to keep an eye on:

Use complete sentences (I also remind them of this before an oral narration)
Use of capitals, full-stops, comma’s, etc.
Use of descriptive words.

I write these points in the front of their writing book so they can refer to it often and they use this to edit their work before submitting it to me. I also ask the child to read aloud to themselves before submitting their work. Often one of my children will pick up many errors (punctuation, grammar, spelling, word usage, sentence structure) when reading it aloud. They can edit their work before handing it to me. I don’t use a red pen or completely edit their work…it wouldn’t be THEIRS then, it would be mine! (Besides that, it can be pretty scary to throw your heart into something to have someone critique it…that can be difficult for authors and writers and we’re still trying to encourage our young ones at this stage). Sometimes, I will use a pen and often I will go through the most obvious ones (and the ones that they haven’t picked up when proof-reading) orally – teaching and explaining as I go. I have taught the girls to use a handbook for easy reference. (Learning Grammar through Writing by Sandra Bell)

The Communicating Stage is actually where my eldest daughter is at present. What an interesting stage this is! She is fairly comfortable with putting he thoughts on paper. It’s now time for her to learn a few various forms of writing – argument, persuasive and reasoning forms of writing. I believe this can all be done across the curricula (or Key Learning Areas), although history is the subject that she favours writing about. We’re also reading about the History of Literature in our Arthur Mee Children’s Encyclopedia.

By this time, my girls have read and heard a great deal of vocabulary and so they seem to be fairly comfortable with using the medium of writing to convey their thoughts. Hopefully through minimal correction and involvement combined with the exposure to fine literature, writing with good language is not so daunting for my boys also.

At this stage copywork is optional but my eldest daughter has decided to continue with it, although not daily. as she can see how beneficial it is. Dictation is a tool that starts to take the place of copywork to a large degree.

While composition has largely come from the child’s literary readings, the narration/writing prompts are also a way to introduce a type of creative writing.

While a good amount of grammar is learned through this holistic approach, I also use Winston Grammar with my children. This program appeals to a range of learning styles and the reason that I like it is that I don’t have to teach grammar every day, week, month or year! It also doesn’t take a lot of preparation time.

Next on the list to learn is writing a business letter, expository and persuasive essays, speeches, and book reviews. I used to think that book and movie reviews were not difficult thereby being unnecessary to teach but, after reading various reviews at Amazon.com, I’m now convinced that it is a necessary skill. The method that I’ll use is still one of imitation and living books. Presently I require a minimum of one written page per day and 2 pages if it is typed on the computer. I’m also keeping an eye on each child and if I sense a keen interest or ability in language skills, we will be looking for a public speaking or debate group.

I’ve found that journaling has been useful also. At times I’ve had a child journal their thoughts from their Bible reading. This is reflective and shows that the child is growing in many areas. This type of journaling (along with some narration prompts) require the child to think deeply in order to express their thoughts and beliefs, which are being internalised throughout this whole process.

If at any stage I sense my child is not ready in any way I simply back off. I believe that encouragement, time, and exposure to good literature will help them to develop so that we can, one day, move ahead again. If one of my children should display a dislike of writing, possibly because of previous experiences and/or lack of confidence, they may benefit from revising Stage One but with different (higher level) reading matter such as, Parables of Nature, Pilgrim’s Progress, Guerber’s Histories, etc. I would then keep a note in my diary or planner of when we started the revision so that I could see the progress in three month’s time.

This is how composition has been approached in our home. Some days it feels like we’re stuck in Suesville and other days I’m amazed at the quality of writing my children produce. Throughout it all I keep telling myself that this is a process…a little here, a little there… through copywork, dictation, literature and narration.

Hope you find this helpful.

Parenting Pain

I remember when my children were little and we would be at the playground. The children would be running around, jumping, shrieking with delight, skipping and climbing the playground equipment. On more than one occasion would one of them fall and scrape their knee, which would result in a mass of tears. As a parent I would watch the children carefully, almost anticpating a fall. And then splat!… it would happen! I’d see it happen, as if it were in slow motion. I knew it was happening yet was not able to prevent the fall and subsequent wound. As the fall or tumble was occurring I would hurt. I felt pain.

It was as if I could feel it in my own body. My knees would jar sharply or my ankle felt twisted, depending upon what type of tumble or scrape the child incurred. Within seconds the tears, screams or sobs (depending upon the child) would ensue. I would take the child into my arms and whisper very quietly. The whisper was usually one of a prayer- asking God to take away the pain and replace it with His peace and joy or some such similar request. I loved that moment… where they loved being in my arms and comforted by me. Where my words were helpful and comforting and offered assurance. Where we were connected as mother and child. For some parents, this heart connectedness stays this way all the way through until adulthood and even beyond, which can be healthy. For some others, this doesn’t happen at all and children become disconnected. Some children disconnect well before they reach adulthood. Just as parents of toddlers experience pain when their child is bruised or scraped so do some parents expereince pain when a child disconnects.

I know because that parent is me.

I feel intense pain in this step of my parenting journey… for one of my children has disconnected well before they are ready. The child is bruised and hurting, therefore I am too.

I hurt in many ways… I grieve for the loss and pain that I see my child in and for the possible pain I see that they are headed for. But I also hurt in other ways.

I feel alone. I’m going through all this with my husband (Thank you Lord!) but I mean, in a sense, that ‘we’ feel alone. I’ve tried to reach out to others. I’ve tried to find parents in similar situations but it seems that there aren’t any others. At times I feel like we are the only Christian, homeschooling parents to go through this. I know for a fact that this is not true… but it feels like it. Maybe others are too busy, maybe they don’t know what to say within a situation that doesn’t seem to change with every passing week. And then, there is the occasional parent that looks at me with a shocked expression and starts asking a few questions… but they’re asking the wrong questions! The questions they ask aren’t necessarily for my benefit or my child’s… rather for themselves. I can sense when someone wants to know details only for their own benefit… so that they would not make the same mistakes that we did. If it were all so cut ‘n’ dried then I would be marketing the formula instead of writing a blog post!

I don’t ask God, “why?“. Well, in all honesty I have done so in the past but I don’t anymore . Oh,I have screamed at God at times; cries wanting to know why, what I had done (as though it were all about me- how ego-centric), etc? But praise Him, He is so much bigger than my ego for He didn’t shoot me down with a bolt of lightning or anything like that. But no, He didn’t answer me either. He has never condemned me for asking a heart question… He just may not answer. And, He is, after all… God. He can do that!

However, I digress… back to the point. Better questions that I do believe God answers are ones such as,

“Where do I go from here?”
“What can I do now to redeem the situation?”
“How can I serve the needs of my child in this situation?”
“How do I show love without condoning their behaviour?”

This stage of the journey, for me, is a difficult and tiring one. I don’t want simplistic formulas which don’t hold up… neither do I need a theology of clichés. Therefore I cannot write about formulas or clichés. But I can write about the things that I do know. They may not always sound theologically correct to others and for that, I apologise in advance. I wish to lead no one astray yet I desire to share what I am learning, not just in my bookish learning of the Bible but in my relationship with the Lord God. Sometimes I write before I have completely processed my thoughts. Sometimes my posts will sound all garbled. Despite my best efforts, I will get it wrong. [Apology over] So keep reading at your own discernment.

I do know that God indeed has a plan!

A plan and purpose for mankind, for me and for my child! He has promised to finish what He started in me… and He uses painful experiences to grow me in endurance and patience. He also uses these trying times to reveal my flesh, the flesh nature which may have been slightly buried in my clean-living and cosy life.

And I know that I am never alone.

This journey is plunging me into a relationship with the Lord God that I have not known previously. I can say that I’d rather live a life of hard times with the Lord God, my Father, than a life of ease and comfort without Him.

Jesus said that He will never leave or forsake me. And I know it. I don’t just believe it. I know it.

Leaving a legacy?

Friday, from the archives.

Driving in the car…washing dishes…sweeping the floor, preparing a meal…reading a good book…visiting the new neighbour…running errands and paying bills. What do these have in common? These are a few things that I have had opportunity to do this week…to do with my children. And it is through these tasks and delights that I have opportunity to share the good news of God with them.

One of my favourite verses in God’s word is Deuteronomy, chapter 6. I particularly like Chapter 6: but that’s only because of the surrounding verses. The writer of these verses is Moses.

Moses went to Egypt and led the Israelites out of Egypt. They wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years. So close yet so far away from the Promised Land. During all this time the people of Israel had fallen away form the Lord and the teachings of Moses. Moses goes to Mt. Sinai and receives the Commandments from God. I often need to remember why the Law was given. It was given to reveal divine holiness! It showed who God is… His standards of righteousness. When I look at the commandments I can see how far short I have fallen…and how I can never attain adherence to them of myself.

I was intrigued to learn that it took the Israelites about 40 hours to get out of Egypt but it took 40 years for the Israelites to find the promised land- or as I’ve heard is said somewhere before, “It took 40 years to get Egypt out of Israel.” However, the other interesting point is that Moses didn’t get to enter the promised land. Only two of the Israelites who were taken out of Egypt got to enter it and they were Joshua and ‘Master C’ . Al the others had died and there was a new generation.

God knows that our teachings, lives and beliefs can influence future generations. He wants us to think this way. How many generations can you see in the verses? Three! That means me, my children and my grandchildren!

I’ve heard many people say that they wish there was a handbook or guidebook for this whole parenting caper. And there is! It is the Bible!

So, what are we to pass down to the generations- to our children. Head knowledge? It may start there but it must be more than that. It must be in our lives. The word must change us. Along with a knowledge of God we must also have a fear of the Lord. It starts with love. Otherwise, all we have is religion.

I wasn’t raised a Christian although my mother converted before I came to know the Lord so I say that my mother is the first generation Christian. It began with her. She started to live out her life in God in front of me…and I picked up on that passion. I think that a possible danger for me is that I may become complacent in the living out of my faith and thus my children will become that way or even acknowledge God’s commands but not live in the fear or love of the Lord. Oh Lord, create in me a clean heart…keep my heart drawn to you.

Am I excited about what God is doing in my life or has done for me? Do I share my walk with them? How are they to ‘catch’ my passion if I don’t share it with them?

Grace: Received, Not Achieved.

What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?
1Corinthians 4:7

Why, oh why do I (man) like to think that I have something, just a little something, to do with my salvation. Do I not realise that in thinking this way I am blaspheming? I had nothing, NOTHING, to do with my salvation. God has given me all things richly to enjoy. Everything created by God is good. Every good giving and every perfect gift comes down from the Father God.

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.
2 Corinthians 8:9

In this passage, Paul means ‘you were poor’ and ‘without strength’. He means that I was totally impoverished, wholly weak. I could not lift a finger, nor raise a whisper to effect my salvation… in any way! I was a sinner, with no way of escape and I deserved nothing – certainly not mercy nor grace. Yet God not only loved me freely but through the act of grace He redeemed me. Did I deserve it? No way! Did I help the process along? Of course not! From the Cross flowed the grace of God.

Maybe there was something about my actions or attitude that moved God to grace? Eek! No! God can not be manipulated! It is sheer favour on His part. Only God could turn the heart of this sinner toward Himself. I didn’t deserve to be shown grace or favour. I could not obtain nor procure this grace… there was nothing I could do to warrant this grace – it flowed from God. It still flows from Him. No sin that that I commit lessens His grace from being poured out and any good works do not procure more grace from Him. It was grace. It is grace and it flows abundantly from the Father all the time.

God showed me His grace by giving me gifts; the gifts of repentance, faith and forgiveness. I didn’t find the Lord. He sought me and found me! I didn’t make my decision for Christ! How could I when I was dead in my sins? How could I convert from sinner to saint? Only by His grace. As Jeremiah said:

Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored!
Lamentations 5:21a

What Do You Use To Measure

Friday: From the Archives

Each Friday I plan to post a previous post from the archives. Hope you enjoy it!

What’s your measuring stick?

(Originally posted here in Nov, 2005)

What do I use as a yardstick to measure my family’s growth by? I think a lot of us can fall into this trap of listening to others. Sometimes this ‘others’ can be friends or it can just as easily be the local support group, or email group/message board or curricula. I think the key is that peer pressure of the homeschool variety can happen whenever we take our *seeking* eyes away from God and look to others. Ultimately, it isn’t about what everyone else is doing or using or how they home-school as that is all external- it should be about us and the work of God in our hearts.

I think that this homeschool peer pressure is real and it does exist. I think a lot of us have been taken in by peer pressure at some stage or another. Sometimes it takes us to hit the (home-school) pit or rock-bottom (burnout for some???) to realize that we are all individual and need to put our eyes back to God. In this home-school journey where a lot of our results are not directly seen, we look for reassurance as this provides a certain measure of comfort. We do this because we no longer have delegated the responsibility of teaching academics to a school or teacher and that responsibility is ours now and we don’t want to muck it up. However, using the person next to you, or another family is not THE measuring stick we should be using. We need to go to God and allow Him to direct our path.

Lord, draw us to you. Bring our hearts back to you and show us when we are using something else as a yardstick.

Unschooling or School At Home. So which is it?

If you’ve read my blog over the years or my forum posts you may be excused for wondering what type of homeschoolers we are! One month we seem to be favouring an unschooling approach and another month we seem to be doing school-at-home! Looking at our homeschooling timeline may not help clear the issue either.

So which is it?

Neither and all!

We have seasons. I don’t like labels as they are too constricting. Rather we go with the flow. So we have had times when we have fully unschooled, but then our life has changed a little and a new season begins so unschooling stops. Because this is following the natural rhythms of our family it is easy for the children to adapt- it is natural.

Therefore I cannot say that we are unschoolers, or natural learners, or anything really… other than home-based-learners. I find it difficult to truthfully answer questions like this. I want to answer but even if I respond by painting a picture of what our homeschooling season looks like now, in a few months it will have changed and that picture will no longer be an accurate portrayal of our life.

I know that doesn’t help new or inquiring homeschoolers much (when they really want a concrete picture) but it is the truth. Over the years we have just done what needed to be done. Sometimes this has meant formal spelling lists and at other times it has meant NO spelling focus at all.

There is a time for everything. Observe your family rhythm. Observe your children. Be decisive in your course of action. Embrace each season. Live together, play together, pray together, love.

Daily Quiet Times

I’ve always felt a bit like a loner when a discussion turns to ‘Quiet Times’. I usually offer my thoughts as they relate to me and my relational walk with the Father. But my thoughts seem somewhat different to many other Christian women. Why? Am I a freak? I know I don’t have all my theological ducks-in-a-row but I know my Father.

Sometimes life feels as though it is against me. Dare I say it? Sometimes it feels as though God is against me. Yet I know this is not true. God isn’t my personal fairy God-father. rather, He is God and He allows the processes of life to cause me pain but He has not, and will not ever abandon me.

However, I’ve learned that I don’t have to try to have a relationship with my Father…He reveals Himself to me and reveals things about myself to me. He’s real in my life, whether or not I have a devotional time in the morning, the evening or in the shower!

I don’t want to play the game of religion. I don’t even want to play the game of Christianity. I want to know God and I want to walk with Him. There was a time when I felt secure in my life because of certain ‘religious’ activities, but God has been pruning these things out of my life, showing me how unimportant (and sometimes detrimental) they really are to relational living with Him. Instead of filling week nights with ‘worship’ practice, worship nights, writing Sunday School curriculum, leading Kids Club, being a puppeteer and a handful of other activities I am re-learning how to live in His love, to follow His voice and totally depend upon Him.

This is what it means to me when I say I am a believer, a follower of Christ. It means relational living with God, not one day a week nor several days a week at activities. Every decision I make centres around the Lord. Yet that is not to say that I get it right- far from it! But He knows my heart.

So why do I feel like an odd ball when talking to other Christians about my ‘ daily quiet time’?

I have never been one to use devotional aids. I find them contrived and largely artificial. I’m not one who religiously reads several chapters every day before breakfast. But in keeping with breakfast and eating, my ‘quiet time’ is akin to my diet. I simply don’t recall what I ate for breakfast 6 months ago. But I know it was nutritious and healthy and strength giving! If my diet goes downhill then so does my physical status after a time. Soon afterwards I’ll pick up again with my vitamins for it is this buildup of nutrients that will keep me strong and healthy – even in times of famine. (Not that we experience famine in the true sense of the word)

My Bible reading is similar: I may not read three or four chapters every day. I may not remember what I read several months ago…but reading the Bible is is pure nourishment for my soul. It is this buildup of nutrients that keeps me strong – even in times of famine or the dry, hard times.

Is anyone else an odd-ball or am I the only one?

Opening Doors

I want to be a happy mum. A spontaneous mum. A gentle mum. An encouraging mum. A loving mum. I want to open the door for my children.

It’s all too easy for me to say ‘no’. No, no, no! I don’t want my children to remember me as a ‘no mum’. “No” closes doors whereas “yes” opens the door, giving loads of opportunity! Opening the door is like igniting a flame… we never know where it will lead or brightly it will burn. I desire to create an environment that is conducive to pursuing delights, to shape and develop the character traits necessary for a lifelong habit of learning and provide the fuel or rich ideas to stimulate an interest.

Education is not the filling of a pail, rather the lighting of a fire.
~William Butler Yeats

I try to open doors for my children in the following ways:

Exposing my children to various subjects and exploring them together. The topic may not be an interest of mine, but I never know what might catch their interest. The library, wildlife parks, sport games, the theatre, musicals, art gallery, arts & craft activities, games (chess, etc.) movies and vacations are a few ways to provide a rich, interesting environment.

Teach perseverance. Some children tend to naturally be ‘dabblers’. That is they like to try their hand at everything but don’t stick with a topic or an activity long enough to master it or gain a decent understanding of it. Whilst I understand that this is a personality trait and it’s not all bad I do think it is important to learn stickability.

Give encouragement and support when their interest begins to wane. All of us experience frustration, tiredness or weariness and so do my children. This is a sign that I need to become a little more involved and help them regain their enthusiasm.

As much as I like to teach perseverance, there is also merit in learning to let go in order to move on. As children get older and their focus can begin to narrow in on selected activities or topics, it is helpful to reassess the necessity of their other activities. Sometimes an activity or subject will need to be let go so that the child can fully move forward in pursuit of their interests.

I constantly nag er, gently remind my children that their interests may very well be given to them by God and are to be used for His glory and for His purpose.

He is the God who made the world and everything in it.
Acts 17:24a

I want to ignite a fire in the hearts and lives of my children. The interest they have today could be their occupation, their area of expertise, their hobby, their lifelong passion or a ministry in the years to come!

Will you share how you open doors for your children.

In the beginning… a new year

Life… it’s full of new beginnings! Unlike yesterday, today is the beginning of a new year. Who knows what this year will bring each family? God, the author and finisher of our faith does!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God.
John 1:1-2

So, how to find this purpose? There have been countless books with with much pop psychology for eager persons to devour…but they make much out of something quite simple… that which may not be easy (because we so often live by the flesh) but simple. I will find my work, my mission, my purpose, by living in obedience and submission to the Father! He does the preparing of me… He will lead me into that purpose in the right time. My duty is to keep obedient to Him and submit every part of my life to Him. He requires me to act justly, to love mercy and kindness and to walk in constant, sweet fellowship with Himself.

Do I know what my purpose is? Have I set my goals and plans for 2010 according to His ways, to His plan?

My New Year's Resolution

Oh dear, are you sick of re-posts yet? Here’s another one, originally from 2007/2008

I don’t make New Year resolutions! Years ago, after many failed resolutions I declared that I would make only one more New Year resolution. That would be that I would never make New Year resolutions! I can report that I have been successful with that resolution.

I have a few friends and I think I sometimes get on their nerves with my incessant questioning of everything. To everything I ask the 5W’s and a H (I think that might be a theme for my year). If a friend tells me they’re moving interstate, I ask ‘Why?’. Yet another friend will excitedly share a new curriculum to use with their child and I’ll ask, ‘Why?’. I can’t help myself. I don’t do it deliberately, I promise. I just want to know why. So it was with New Year resolutions. I wanted to know why it was such a common practice. Oh, I used to love that feeling of being able to have a fresh start, a blank slate to begin again with but then I truly realised that every day is a new day. There isn’t anything special or empowering about a New Year resolution or any other goal for that matter. About 3000 years ago, the Ancient Babylonians were in the practice of making a New Year resolution. (There truly is nothing new under the sun eh? 🙄 ) I’m not sure I need to model myself after them!

So, why make a resolution? I guess people practice it because of that clean, fresh start feeling. But I’m reminded time and time again that every day is a new day. I don’t have to wait until next week, next term or next year to work to a goal. I can start tomorrow.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

“We’re not doing things and asking God to bless it. We’re asking God what we should do, and then He provides. There is a difference.”

~ Faith Like Potatoes

My motivation is the important matter in setting goals or resolutions. If God is at the centre then I’ll have greater chance of success. For God’s sovereign will comes into the picture even as a homeschooling mum! If my goal is in accordance with His will, and His will is what I most desire then He will enable me to fulfill that goal…giving me strength as I work through with (learning) diligence.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

While I don’t do New Year resolutions, I do practice goal setting. This can and should be done regularly, at all times of the year. For me, it is about setting a goal – breaking it into manageable, attainable, smaller steps with frequent evaluation and assessment. This just becomes a part of life- a natural part of life. Years ago, I taught ‘Miss A’ about goal setting, within the context of her chosen sport. She took the principles, applied them and achieved success. So much so, that she is now a better and more efficient goal setter than I am, in every aspect of her life! Now, that’s real life learning!

Goal setting steps

Firstly, I pray and ask God for wisdom (James 1:5)
Then, I’ll pray (again without ceasing) and ask God for practical steps to fulfilling those goals and breaking them into manageable, little bit by little bit, steps.
Pro actively set out to attain the manageable steps, setting in place measures whereby I can be accountable, all the while relying on His strength.
Thank Him for any success and failure. When I achieve success, be sure to give God the glory and keep an open heart to Him so that I may be humble and not grow in pride. Sure, but what about giving thanks in failure? What? Why give thanks in failing? Oh I am so thankful that our Father has promised to accept all who believe, regardless of their worthiness. John 6:40 I am thankful that when I fail or lose it or don’t achieve my goals, I am thankful that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

I really liked Leonie’s thoughts about motto’s and themes. (Teehee, she does these but not goals! My, how different we all are 😀 ) I would have to agree with her- at least for my life. I have had themes. I remember a few years ago a theme for me was, Bloom Where You Are Planted. It was just after another interstate move that I didn’t want. I spent a good part of the year sulking and complaining, hibernating from everyone. Until I learned that I need to “Bloom Where I am Planted”! That became my catch-cry for the next year- on until the next move interstate. Another year my theme was “Just Do it!”. I had spent years trying to learn and practice a new method of Bible study…after after it all I found the easiest way was to Just Do It! I’ll figure the finer details out once I start doing it. This past year I guess my theme was Fit n 40.

Unlike Leonie though, I don’t really develop my themes in advance. (Bravo to Leonie for being so gung-ho and proactive though. She has more energy than I do. 😉 ) I’ll have to wait a little while until this year happens to see what my motto or theme will be, although I strongly suspect I have already written of two themes in this post! If you read my blog regularly you’ll probably pick up on it yourself.

Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Psalm 37:5-6

So what about you? Do you make New Year resolutions? If so, why? Do they work for you? If so, to what do you credit with your success? Maybe you don’t do goals or resolutions- I’d love to hear from you too! Share with me what works for you.

Helping the Weak: The Lesson in 1 Thessalonians

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, (Or ‘disorderly’, or ‘undisciplined) encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

Ah, this verse leaped out at me this morning. I don’t know about you but I never know what my day is going to hold. I live with a person who is an emotional roller coaster. When this person is happy the whole world is smiling, the flowers blooming, the sun is shining and life is sweet. But when this person is on the downward side of the coaster, life is… just hard. (And that is a major understatement)

Today, this verse is for me. In my walk as a parent.

I know that Paul was not referring to Susan, the parent when he wrote these inspired words…but nevertheless, they are for me today.

As a parent I need to admonish the idle, the disorderly or the undisciplined child. To warn the child who is being wayward, inconsistent or following their own will. I need to esteem the children when they have put in a good effort- not easy praise but an acknowledgment of their work, effort and attitude.

In fact, after praying and asking the Lord what I need to teach the children today He showed me this passage…and whilst this verse leapt out at me the whole passage is very applicable.

We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.
1 THESSALONIANS 5: 12-18

Know my children. Observe them.
Be at peace today…cultivate an atmosphere of peace within the home.
Warn and admonish the disorderly or undisciplined child. Encourage the child when they are downcast.
Acknowledge their efforts and attitudes.
Help them, serve them.
Be patient.
Teach them not to repay evil for evil.
Encourage them to good to one another.
Rejoice!
Pray, without ceasing- develop an attitude of prayer submitting everything to the Father.
Give thanks…encourage the children to always give thanks.

But first I must examine my own heart before I can attempt to teach the children about such things. How is my attitude? Do I need to repent of any attitudes? I need to apply this verse to my own life before I open my mouth. So I’m going to be busy today eh? What about you? What lessons does Father have for you today?

Exercise: The Old Testament Way

Anyone else thinking about next year’s curriculum? I am…it’s part of the process I go through each year. Currently I’m in the praying and pondering stage. I’m working on a system for Master J to use. He’s quite capable of using most systems but considering our eclectic style of learning and curriculum we need a system that he can use fairly independently. The issues that we have with it are that I can schedule till the cows come home…but the practical outworking of that schedule doesn’t match the paper plan and then we can tend to get a bit lost with what is next. As a result, the main subjects get done but it’s those little bitty books that I have planned that get left out. You know, the ones that only require a chapter per week. Any scheduling/planning systems that you use would be well received in the comments section.

Exercise

My health is upside down and inside out…but I do think I’m slowly on the up and up. However, with softball season back I am finding it difficult to juggle my gym fitness with softball fitness combined with the ups and downs of my health. I am learning that being *gym fit* is quite different to being sport fit. I have been working out in the gym for several months and making great strides…and whilst it has helped me immensely with softball it is also a very different type of fitness. Playing sport gives me far more aches and pains than simply working out at the gym. But what does this have to do with a homeschool mama? A lot! But let me ask you a question. Do you exercise? If not, why not? You need to! Not because I say so though…but because it is so good for you… you were created to!

I know many women don’t want to get big or bulky…and others really don’t seem concerned about their weight. I totally get that. I’m quite content with my weight and my appearance- but there is something more important- the physical/emotional and spiritual connection!

Health Benefit

God didn’t create us to be static…or sitting down all day. Oh, I’m a busy homeschool mum I know how tiring and draining life can become. God created us to be strong and physical. Think of the women in the Old Testament- could you keep up with them? Carrying full water jugs up and down the hill, catching and preparing chicken or goats…grinding the wheat and doing all the laundry *BY HAND*… whew! Let me tell you, I could not have kept up…I still don’t know if I’m at that point yet either…but I’m working my way there. These days I don’t have to wash by hand or carry water jugs, but it’s vitally important for me to stay strong. I wonder if a woman’s body is more designed for resistance training/weight workouts rather than cardio – but that’s a hotly debated topic that I cannot do justice here.

Think of the women in the Old Testament- could you keep up with them? Carrying full water jugs up and down the hill, catching and preparing chicken or goats…grinding the wheat and doing all the laundry by hand!

Did you know that exercise, and in particular weight training, will decrease your risk of heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, arthritis, Alzheimer’s and many more nasties? But at the same time, it will increase your life span, strength and bone density! But wait, there’s more! Weight training also assists in weight loss – even more so than pounding out the kilometres on the treadmill. Yes! Building muscle increases your metabolism! So you can get fit and strong and lose weight without pounding the pavement for countless hours at a time! (Not saying you don’t need to do any cardio but if you’re like me and remember the aerobic classes of the 1980’s you might shudder in horror at the thought of cardio)

Emotional Benefit

I’ve had a fair bit on my emotional plate this year…and to be honest I was not coping with it all despite prayer and Bible study, etc. It’s because I was neglecting an important element of life – physical exercise. I’ve learned that when I work out with weights I feel tired- for sure. But a huge benefit is that I feel rejuvenated and refreshed and full of energy! I’m more able to handle the potholes that I find myself driving over. I love going out to the gym for an hour three times a week. The benefits far outweigh any hurdles that need to be overcome. But you don’t have to go to the gym- remember the OT women: they didn’t have a gym…they worked out as part of life. But they did do some weight training! My dear cyber friend Jenna has shared how she has benefited enormously from exercising…and she wrote about the spiritual/physical connection here.

Spiritual Benefit

There is a lot to learn about the nature of man…and of ourselves. Throughout my health/fitness/exercise I have learned about myself. There are times when I sabotage my efforts…hold bitterness in my heart toward myself, strive for perfection, struggle with pride and/or listen to my own negative self talk. But to walk in the Spirit means that I have God’s perspective about myself and my physical body…I can meditate on God’s word while lifting weights or cycling on the bike or walking down the street. I won’t let the enemy gain a foothold in my life by allowing death-giving thoughts, desires for perfection, thoughts of self loathing or other such issues. Exercise helps me to process the important thoughts from the trivial- so that I can more clearly hear from God.

I know it’s just one more thing to try and cram into your week…but it really is worth it. And after a few weeks it won’t seem like a chore or a ‘must-do’. Please take it from me- a former unfit, unhealthy, computer based, sitting down, vegetative homeschool mum. It is worth it.

A benefit that I haven’t even mentioned yet is the benefit to your marriage and to your children. Oh yes, it is worth it- especially as we are fighting to keep our children’s hearts and keep a proper perspective of self image…really important.

So, are you exercising and working out… like the women of the Old Testament? If not, wanna join me?

Using the 5Ws and H to teach

Do you ever have your older children teach a concept to the younger children? That happens on a regular basis here in our home. There are so many advantages to it but that’s for another post. I want to share how I use the principle of teaching as part of the learning process. It’s a good skill for us to develop and a valuable skill for our children to develop as they get older.

Whenever we attempt to teach we must know the information- we must internalise it before we can put it into our own words. Using the tools of narration and the 5W’s and a H are very helpful in learning and teaching. These tools are valuable and beneficial regardless of age, gender, strengths or weaknesses.

Teaching should be as interactive as possible. Lectures can tend to bore students as their minds need to be engaged in order to go through the learning process. I’m not interested in simply filling my lesson time with facts and figures. I want to share ideas, hear their thoughts and questions. Repetition has a place in learning but we need to move beyond that into understanding. Simply telling a story or concept in different words or using pictures or literary metaphors can greatly engage a student, which is why a n older child teaching the younger is so effective.

I’ve taught my older children (girls) to teach using our Kerugma 4 step process and 5 W’s and a H. Here’s how I have taught them:

Have a quick skim over the material and see if you can ask yourself some basic questions. Use the Observation Sheet as a prompt if needed. In one or two sentences introduce the topic, asking probing questions as a way to capture their interest.

Then it’s time to read or make the basic points. My family often laughs at me as I can tend to waffle, despite my claiming to be as concise as possible!

Then, I’ll try to ask questions that are relevant to the subject:

Who is the main character? To whom is this passage referring?
What is happening in this passage?
What did the main character have to say about…?
When does this event occur? When did the main character realise he…[insert relevant question]?
Where did the event occur or when will it occur?
Why is this happening? Why do you think the main character said/did that?
How did this (event) happen? How did it affect the community/situation, etc? How does it affect you?

After some facts (or ideas) have been established, we can then spend a minute or so on looking at possible application to our lives. This doesn’t just apply for Bible study, although anytime we look for practical application it should always be within the boundaries of God’s word- it should line up with the Bible.

Lesson finished!

There are so many ways in which to use the 5W’s and a H. It is also a logical way to think…so you can also include critical thinking as part of your lesson scheduling when using the Observation method. I have devised the prompt sheet for download which might help…but simply using the 5W’s and a H as a natural part of your lessons will come easily and naturally after awhile.

Do you use the 5W’s and a H format in your home? Have you or will you instruct your children how to teach using this method? If not, do you have another method that you use in your home. If so, I’d love to hear of it. Any comments or thoughts?

You can download/print the 5W’s & H (observation) sheet here…the IDEA bookmark from here…see more downloads here.

If you’re new to reading my site and have no idea what I’m talking about when I mentioned the learning process, you might like to see here or this post asking, How Do You Learn? Other posts you might enjoy are:

Poetry using the observation sheets

Using the 5Ws and a H

Freedom versus Bondage

I’ll confess. I’m struggling with writing online lately. I know what the Lord has done in my life and what he is doing in my life currently but I struggle with writing it in such a way that I will not be misunderstood or that may cause others to stumble.

I know that I will be misunderstood by some, simply because I am not the best writer and when communicating I rely heavily upon tone of voice and facial expressions as well as physical touch. I also rely heavily on knowing a little about who I am talking to, thereby being sensitive their situation.

I can’t begin to tell another person how to live, what decisions to make, the best way to homeschool their children, what to eat or what not to eat…so what can I write about? I can write about the things that I experience, the things God reveals to me and the changes He makes in my life…but there’s always the possibility that it will be misunderstood by some and that they will be led astray. Or maybe the freedom I have will cause them to stumble. Oi voi, what a dilemma!

Self imposed boundaries

There are things that I struggle with in my life. Some things I have even had to set boundaries for. These boundaries give me the opportunity for accountability…they help me to be strong in areas that I am weak. Rules, boundaries, safe-guards, guidelines, do’s, do not’s…call them what you will but they are boundaries nevertheless. We all have them. If not in one area then in another, sometimes known only to ourselves but we all have them. I believe that Christians have many of these self built boundaries…especially Christian homeschooling parents!

Personal Freedoms vs. Scriptural Commands

There are some areas which fall into the ‘freedom‘ category and some which are God’s commands. Clothing is one area, as an example. Dressing modestly is a biblical principle. Women should not dress to look as a man and vice versa. (I won’t go into lengthy detail as way too much opinion and study abounds on the ‘interweb’ already). Scripture tells us all we need to know. But man would like to interpret (or is that control?) and tell us exactly what it means… even down to the fabric, colour and length in centimetres! These things add burdens… yet Christ came to set us free that we may be controlled by the Holy Spirit, not man!

Personally Convinced by the Spirit

Many years ago, (BC: Before Christ) I dressed in a manner that was clearly set to impress the male audience. I know this not because anyone told me but because I know what was in my heart. After being a believer for some time, God spoke to my heart about the way I dressed. He did not tell me to wear dresses only or ankle length skirts only. He didn’t give me the tape measure and a set of measurements to abide by (which would have made it easy for me to try and fudge here and there) However, He did address my heart. Ouch! That was harder hitting! I had freedom to dress how I wanted so long as I followed the boundaries that He set in my heart. The Holy Spirit guided me. Just as He can guide other women. But I also know that God opens each heart at to different things at different times in their walk.

As a young Christian, I found it helpful to put boundaries on myself. These were not so much rules for me to follow, although they could be interpreted as such. Rather, they were steps or markers that I had put in place that offered me some accountability. I had to this because of my weakness in an area. I was weak so I put markers in place to help guide me. Naturally I noticed that other people did not have the same boundaries around themselves…for they weren’t as weak in the same areas as I was.

Perceiving Weakness as Strength

Strangely enough, someone in the youth group noticed my self imposed boundaries and thought this showed a deep spirituality. I was commended for my strong faith. Of course, being young and full of ego (okay, so I may not be so young anymore but am still prone to having my ears tickled) I lapped it up. How sad. What others perceived as strength and tried to imitate was actually my weakness!

Some people esteem some foods as better than others. And while no one actually says it, one can often be left with a feeling that some are more spiritual or holy because of their [self imposed] dietary lifestyle. While other people esteem certain days as being more holy than others. Scripture tells us that the weaker or less mature believers consider these things to be vitally important in the Christian life, while the strong do not place such importance upon those matters.

But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.
1 Corinthians 8:8

Lifestyle

Many new homeschoolers look to the more veteran homeschoolers and want to emulate their lifestyle. There are many reasons for this but amongst fear and doubt is also a certain sense of security. Yet it is false security as it is not found in Christ but in a lifestyle.

Boundaries may be necessary for an individual to put in their life (As in the case of an alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, etc) and I’m not disputing that at all. At times, these boundaries have been ropes of grace in my life. So long as I acknowledge that they are my boundaries set in place because of my weakness. I shouldn’t impose those boundaries upon others nor presume that they aren’t spiritual because they don’t have my boundaries. These boundaries are not freedom or liberty, but neither are they the ‘the narrow way’ nor does it mean that I am living a life of ‘greater obedience’. It may just mean that I am weak in my faith. The difficulty comes when we look at others and see their weaknesses and subsequent boundaries and mistake them for spirituality and we try to emulate that in our own lives. When we do that, we are not living as Christ called us to live.

Living out Romans 14

We need to be clear in using Scripture to divide what is holy, mature and ‘the narrow way’ and what is obedience, freedom and liberty.

I am fully convinced in my own mind of how I live. I try to not do things which conflict with my conscience. My faith guides me in matters of personal freedom but these matters are not the norm or the standard for the homeschool community or any other family. (As if )

I’m trying to be careful in what I proclaim from my blog. I can’t tell someone else what to do, (other than repent and turn to Christ) how they should teach English, what method to use, to avoid all meat or cover their head or observe every Saturday as the Lord’s Day. The difficulty with sharing my daily walk online is that it may be fine for people who follow my blog or know me in real life. But for those who simply stumble onto the blog, they might read something, which can then be taken out of context, and use it in a way that does not bring freedom.

Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.
1 Corinthians 8:8

It’s one thing to speak, knowing who I am speaking to face-to-face, being able to clarify my words if need be. It’s another thing to write, not knowing who will read it. If I can’t see the reader or communicate with them, then I don’t know if the reader is picking up what I’m putting down. I guess that’s concern that all believers face but I’m struggling with it of late.

Do you struggle with this too or have you reconciled it in your own mind?

Surviving a Book Fair

A repost from 2005

Book Fairs? Curriculum Fairs? Don’t you love them? I do!
But, I had to devise a strategy so that I could get the most from them. Here are the things that I try to do in order to survive a book fair.

Check with friends as to their *must-have* books. Devise plan of action so that we do not fight 😉

Have a pre-arranged amount of spending money and know that I will stick to it.

Take esky and/or thermos for drinks and sandwiches and also doubles as a stool.

Backpack containing : Sandwiches. Water bottles. Snacks for kids.Thermos of tea. Lego or other toys for kids.

Large bags for books. (Red & White stripey bags) Or bag on wheels. (Gee, a shopping trolley would be ideal eh?)

Wear layers of clothing- t-shirt, jumper, etc. I have to be comfortable. Wear comfy shoes.

Take my glasses!

Assign ‘Miss R’ and ‘Miss A’ to areas. Devise their booklists. (‘Miss A’ takes cooking and literature while Miss R takes Rare, Children’s and Nature)

Find suitable area for younger kids to settle.

Go up and down the aisles so that I can read the spines of books.

After collecting and gathering, sit down with a cuppa and go through them all. Weed them out and see if other homeschoolers want to go through discard pile. Ask other homeschoolers if I can peruse their discard pile 🙂

Sort books by category- HB, PB, etc

Queue in lines and pay. Accepts credit and eftpos but take cash!

Have pizza delivery slips on table for easy access or we starve that night because Mum won’t be cooking!

Have table cleaned down to peruse my new books with a fresh cuppa.

I wrote this back in 2004…posted it to on my blog in 2005 so I’m sure that many of you have many more great ideas! (Especially now that some of us have a little more experience now) Feel free to share your book fair survival tips!

Putting it together

Well, so far in this series I’ve posted a little about us and the beginnings of our homeschooling journey, how I felt something was missing despite my planning and working so hard and how God pulled me up and put me on a clearer path, with Him as pilot. I wrote about developing a family mission statement and today I would like to share just a little of our lifestyle and how it looks, what sort of books we use in this pursuit of a Bible based, Cross-centric lifestyle of learning.

There is so much curricula available (and I have owned much of it) but we have prefer to study God’s word directly rather than reading commentaries and regurgitated thoughts of man- regardless of how good or noble those thoughts. We desire that our children go directly to God’s word on matters so this means that the primary curriculum on our shelf is the Bible…it’s our main textbook. We also have a good dictionary, Bible handbook and other reference books.

Many modern publications or Bible study books are good but they may have been watered down or they omit teachings on important biblical matters. Bible study is much more than a fill-in-the-blank approach. To be truly authentic and genuine we must teach by living it, modeling it. This is much more effective than any Bible curriculum one can purchase…but be careful, it’s not for the faint hearted- it’s life changing. I have come to see that this homeschooling journey is actually about me. Not in a modern worldly “me” kind of way but by nature of the fact that God wants me to desire Him, to hunger for Him. God does have an agenda behind all this homeschooling business – That it will lead not only the children, but me, to a closer walk with Him.

God’s initial goal for Christian homeschooling families is not the raising of godly children. Instead, God’s wonderful, but subtly hidden agenda is that the homeschooling experience be so challenging for the parents that they feel the need and hunger for a closer walk with their heavenly Father.”
~Wisdom’s Way of Learning by Marilyn Howshall

The Bible is a window into our own soul and heart so that we can understand ourselves, our needs. God spiritually feeds us through the word. The Bible instructs us as to salvation, forgiveness, how to live, how to please God. It isn’t just ‘history’ rather it is His Story! It [the Bible] does more than tell us facts and figures and stories…it tells us why we are here on earth and where we are going. Many other books can point to God but only this one book shows us what God is like. Other books are helpful and beneficial, encouraging, thrilling, informative, entertaining, comforting and beneficial in other ways but only God’s word is life! This book alone can give a glimpse into the mind of God…give us a perspective of eternity. Just as the body needs to be physically nourished by good food, so our heart and mind needs sustenance. It is not simply the words in this book that satisfy the hunger in our soul rather it is God Himself. Just as regular exercise is necessary for a healthy body, so is daily exercising of the mind. What better to nourish the mind on than the message of God?

Rather than start with a state curriculum or generalised outcome based objectives (that have been decided upon by someone else) and then attempt to use the Bible to fill in any gaps, or cover Bible study as though it is just another subject, we start with the Bible and move forward from there: to learn who God is, what He has done and what He requires. This becomes our world view…and our world view will teach more than any curriculum or textbook. Yes, every subject can be taught through the Bible. After all, what is history if not His Story? What is Science? All scientists must think critically and independently. Geography is really the study of God’s created earth and so on.

We use a variety of resources and methods and they’re all good (CM methods, Classical, notebook, natural-learning, etc) but this approach has been what we have found most successful and achievable in instilling vision, purpose, self motivation in all of us. We believe this will prepare us and our children for vocational, entrepreneurial, career or ministry vision.

I don’t believe it mattered that I’d been homeschooling for a few years already. God is King of New beginnings! I asked Him to give me a vision for our family. Through studying His word I’m learning how to hear Him, how to be guided by him and how to recognise and trust the voice of the Holy Spirit. God knows my teaching style! He knows my children’s learning styles! And He has a purpose for us! He is personally directing and guiding me, as I turn to Him and submit my all to Him. This has accomplished more godly fruit that I’d been able to by my own efforts.

Am I recognising God’s call for our family? Am I seeking Him for direction…for guidance in curriculum choices? Am I resting in Him, submitting everything (academic goals and dreams) to Him? Am I listening to Him and observing my family? Am I putting wholesome, literary books filled with rich ideas before the children? I want to do these things, watch for the spark …then allow the children room and time to dig further.

Write the gospel, a chapter each day…write it by what you say and what you do. Your children read that gospel, whether faithless or true. What is the gospel according to you?

Our Homeschool Journey

The Animal School – A Parable

An old story tells of the creation of a school for the animals. In this school, everybody took the same four courses: flying, swimming, climbing, and running. Among the students were a duck, a flying squirrel, a fox, and an elephant. These four were highly motivated, and wanted to get good grades, so they all tried very hard.

The duck did fantastically well in swimming and flying, but he lagged behind his classmates in climbing and running, so focused special attention on those two subjects. However, his feet became so sore from trying to run and his wings were so bedraggled from trying to climb that by the end of the year he not only failed both those subjects, but made C’s in swimming and flying, which had once been his two best subjects.

At the beginning of the school year, the squirrel was first in his class in climbing and running and was second only to the duck at flying. But as the months wore on, he missed so much school from catching pneumonia in his swimming class that he failed everything.

To make matters even worse, because the squirrel constantly squirmed and chattered in class, and had difficulty paying attention, he was diagnosed with a learning disorder. The squirrel eventually was placed in remedial classes and had to be medicated in order to continue with his school work.

The fox was a natural in his running class and scored well in climbing and swimming, but became so frustrated at his inability to get good Grades in flying that he began assaulting his classmates. He even tried to eat the duck. His behavior was so disruptive he was expelled from school. He fell in with a rough crowd and eventually wound up in a center for animal delinquents.

The elephant, meanwhile, developed low self-esteem because he couldn’t do well in any of the subjects. When he sank into clinical depression, his therapist persuaded him to try a different school that focused on subjects such as lifting and carrying. The elephant was disappointed, because careers in lifting and carrying were not as prestigious as careers in flying, swimming, climbing, or running. Even though he always felt inferior, he managed to make a decent living and support his family.

Our Children are Individuals

The point of this silly story about a school for the animals is that modern education sends every child through a program of study that is targeted toward a “generic” child. It expects every student to be able to follow the same course of study in the same sequence, without considering innate aptitudes or individual differences that are crucial to children’s abilities to learn. Schooling does not take into account differing personality types or temperaments.

Parents who understand learning differences can be more sympathetic with the frustrations their children face in school and more helpful in finding alternative approaches. The two major learning differences among children have to do with learning styles and learning readiness.

Article used with permission from Homeschool MarketPlace
Any article appearing on this website may be copied or forwarded electronically provided that proper credit is given and that the article is not substantively modified. No article may appear in whole or in part in a publication sold for profit or as part of any commercial endeavor without the written consent of Home School Marketplace.
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httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN7QfjIcVvA

Developing the Vision

Previously I wrote how I felt that I was in control of our homeschool and how I had planned everything out just perfectly, yet struggled under the weight of it all. God doesn’t want us to strive for cookie-cutter children, rather He would have us prepare our children for an individual, definable life purpose. We try to recognise and identify each children’s natural (God-given) strengths, weaknesses, abilities, talents, interests and passions. From there, we can lean on God for direction in devising a flexible plan for developing our children as whole individuals with a purpose, for His service.

Early on we realised the immense benefit of home education but it wasn’t until a little later on that we came to see that homeschooling is more than academics… that it is a natural extension of God’s purpose for the family.

Some points that we consider and discuss:

What is ‘family’?
What things are important to us, as a family?
What abilities and interests and concerns has the Lord given to us, as a family?
What are some skills that we want our strong, capable child to have as an adult?
What are the attitudes, character traits and information/knowledge that we want our children to have as adults?
What are our educational, moral, spiritual personal, ethical, goals for our family?
What direction has God shown us regarding us and our family’s ministry in His Kingdom?
Do our aims line up with the Bible?

Our responses to these points will look different to other families. Our thoughts and goals are based upon personal conviction, values and calling. Whilst we believe our aims (goals) should always line up with the Bible, the practical outworking of them will look different to that of other families. See this video for more information about individuality within homeschooling.

We then go on to ponder:

What is education? What does it mean to us?
What is the purpose of our child’s education?
What is wisdom?
What is more important to us: knowledge or wisdom?
How best can we meet the needs of our child?

This interesting exercise helps us to identify our family’s unique purpose. However, we’ve found that these questions really can’t be answered in quick, easy, mono syllabic words or sentences. They are rich ideas, encompassing our whole view of the world and everything in it. The ideas and thoughts meld together to form our family’s unique life purpose.

Now we focus upon each child:

Yesterday I shared how we observe each child’s:

Strengths and natural ability and aptitude, also called talents
Weaknesses
Interests; what sparks their curiosity or desire to know more
Their passions (things they would do if left to their own devices)

Now we have a big picture. We’ve identified our family’s goals and purpose. We can see what is most important for us and what is most worth our time and energy. Is it academics? Skills? Information or knowledge? Or relationships? Our family has a priority list of:

relationships (with God, others and self) first, then
skills and then knowledge.

One of our highest priority areas is to grow in wisdom, which only comes from God and falls under the category of ‘relationships’.

Now our Family Mission Statement is in place…the next step is writing it down. Have you developed your Family Mission Statement? I’d love to hear about it. Having your mission statement written down is one of the most important things I recommend. when times of hardship or difficulty come (and they do) we turn to our Mission Statement. This gives us direction, focus and motivation. We’ve also found it beneficial to include the children, especially once they are older. This in turn helps to shape their own view of the world, family and education. It’s important to be able to articulate why we do what what we do. Your family vision is part of that.

See more of Our Homeschool Journey

Getting the direction – as co-pilot

A Gospel-driven, Cross-centric, Discipleship approach simply means that we’re teaching each child what he needs to know, with a view to his/her God given strengths, weaknesses, interest, passions, and talents… their natural bents. Rather than just getting an education we can receive a balanced education through our lifestyle. We are free to seek God for each child’s purpose. This is how we can disciple our children…and prepare them for an individual, definable life purpose.

Recognising God’s Call

The first thing we had to do was recognise God’s call. This was pretty easy…to recognise that God has put me, the parent, as the responsible authority in the lives of our children. I often remind myself that when God calls, He also enables!

Prayer

Ah, I read it, thought it and said it so often that it went without saying but in reality it was at times, the most neglected facet of my homeschool and personal life. I had to acknowledge my weaknesses in order to lean on His strength. This is a walk of faith. But as I have looked to God, more and more He has taken care of all our homeschool needs. In other words, the less I have planned and struggled, the more He has been in control and provided for us.

Rest in Him, Listen to Him and Rely on Him

Listening is so important. I need to listen more to God. Once I’ve asked for His help and direction, I need to stop and listen so that I can hear.

Recognize and Identify

I watch and observe. I have sensed the prompting of the Holy Spirit (and gained help and direction) just by watching and observing the children. Recognising the individual make-up of each child and who he/she was created to be is an ongoing process. In fact, I’ve become a student…not only of the word but a student of my children!

It’s important to spend time identifying the following in each child:

Strengths and natural ability and aptitude, also called talents
Weaknesses
Interests; what sparks their curiosity or desire to know more
Their passions (things they would do if left to their own devices)

Once these things have been identified, I’ve prayed and asked God to help me as I’ve devised a plan to develop their strengths and to build up their weaknesses.

Identity

Part of a Biblical or Discipleship based education is based around the child’s identity. Identity Directed education is not child-led. It does not mean that the whim and fancy of each child is indulged. It doesn’t mean only doing what the child is good at and ignoring everything else. While we are free to explore a child’s delights and passions and interests, that isn’t all of it. I’d like to share an analogy with you. It’s my own analogy and so it will show how I think and process information.
An athlete must train the whole body. It would be detrimental to their being to only train the areas of the body that they use most in their sport. A softball pitcher must have strong core muscles, upper body and leg muscles but they risk severe injury if these are the only areas they develop. They must also develop agility and speed, combined with power and explosiveness. They are required to use the muscle which allows them to pitch underarm yet if they don’t develop the muscles that allow them to throw over arm, they risk injury. Athletes use their whole body in a natural way and they never isolate a single muscle group or joint in the competition. In training yes, in order to develop the area but, only with an aim of building a strong whole body, fit for competition. Training with balance in strengths and weaknesses is the key! Just as an athlete has a training routine, so must the education of a child have structure and routine. These things are [natural, God ordained] biblical principles just as day turns to night and autumn comes after summer.

An individual’s strengths and weaknesses and interests are part of their God given make up! By identifying and encouraging their natural bents we will be launching them toward their purpose.

Our Homeschool Journey

Mapping the course- as the pilot

Yesterday I shared how much I had learned about education and homeschooling. Today I’ll share how God tapped me on the shoulder and straightened me out a bit.

We did Bible study and had memory verses and all those right things, yet something was missing. I knew that I was doing what God wanted- after all, I was doing this for Him, for His glory! Right? Oh boy, God was to show me how wrong I had been. After a few years, in His right time, He stepped in and didn’t leave me to wander for too long.

I had mapped out a course to get to the destination; I knew where I wanted to get to. I had gathered the tools for the journey: knew how I wanted to get there. I loaded the plane, buckled everyone in and took off! I turned to my co-pilot and asked him to bless the journey and to look out for us. After awhile, things got a little bumpy and I turned to my co-pilot and asked Him to help…but He was quite relaxed and had, in fact, been waiting for me to look to Him for help. I came to see that I was trying to take on the role of pilot when instead I am only the co-pilot and God is The Pilot. God knows the destination of each journey for each child. God knows what tools they need for the journey. He knows how to fly that plane better than anyone else: all I had to do was to recognise this and go to Him. I’m so thankful to God that He called me to a process of renewing my mind…to seek His design and not man’s. I had wanted to seek God for His plan for our family, but I got lost in the myriad of information regarding homeschooling.

I experimented on my girls with all these methods I was revising my educational philosophy, my dreams, goals and ideals for the children. In actual fact, my dreams and ideals drifted away from God and more to providing a ‘superior, successful, academic education‘. But deep in my heart I knew that something was missing.

A New Chapter

So began a new chapter in my homeschooling journey: that of putting God first…depending solely upon Him. I wanted Him to show me what to teach and when to each child. I was literally asking ‘What would Jesus do? What would Jesus learn? How would Jesus teach?’ Have you ever asked who is responsible before God for teaching your child? How about searching the Bible to see what God desires us to teach them? Hmmm, how about asking the when question? When to teach them? On the weekend? After school? Next question I asked was how do I teach them this then? I’ve always been one to ask questions (it’s how I learn) and so I wanted to know a few things…things that would impact every aspect of my family and the way I approach the concept of education. I have asked and studied these questions and I’d encourage everyone to do so- it’s a great topic! (I use the 5W’s and a H to learn most things and to teach most things. See my free download here; The Observation Sheet!)

God has a special plan for our family, for each of us and for our homeschool. This will look different to other families! But it is supposed to… I’ve learned that rather than look at what other’s are doing, I need to look only to the Lord. If I want Him to guide me, then I must seek Him, not man. God placed our children in our family. He wants me to diligently teach them His commands all throughout the day, every day, using ways and means that convey His eternal truths and build solid, loving, healthy relationships between me and them. He knows my abilities and theirs. He knows my strengths and weaknesses and theirs. He also knows my needs. I’ve learned that I can turn to Him, I can rely upon Him, die to self and trust in him for peace and assurance. This isn’t just something that I’ve learned about on Sunday, it is a result of trusting in God for everything, even homeschooling. Tomorrow I’ll share the ‘how’ we developed a Gospel based, discipleship approach to our family life and homeschooling.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Our Homeschool Journey

Something missing…

Yesterday I shared how we started the journey toward home education. Today is a continuation of that story…

I bought a series of progressive workbooks, worked out some schedules and away we went! I didn’t give the girls a break that Christmas. I had them do the testing to see precisely what levels to start with. Then we started with what I knew of education– public school style. I brought school into the home. It was kinda fun…for awhile. But I started to get bored of doing the same thing day in and day out and wondered if I’d be able to do this for another 10 years or so. A few months later…

We connected to the Internet – wow, a whole huge, new world opened up for me! Even though the ‘net is a lot bigger nowadays there was still a fair amount of information on various methods of homeschooling. I started researching unit studies and we delved into them for awhile. This led me to the Charlotte Mason and the Classical approach which led me to Unschooling and Natural Learning but the CM method was what I really wanted for my family. All methods offer something valuable but as Christian parents, we wanted something more – we wanted to pass our faith onto our children…we want for them to take ownership of that faith and experience a life filled with God for themselves. Throughout the years I started working very hard to become more like a ‘proper CM homeschooler‘ but I’d fall short and then feel like a failure and well, suffice to say that this time was fairly tumultuous for me as I was caught in a vicious circle. It was a great time where I learned a lot but also had its ups and down. I wanted to ‘take the meat and spit out the bones’ but felt an internal pressure to be a CM purist yet I couldn’t attain to the CM ideals! What a quandary…it’s always going to be hard when we keep looking at others instead of God.

Anyway, as I experimented on my girls with all these methods I was revising my educational philosophy, my dreams, goals and ideals for the children. In actual fact, my dreams and ideals drifted away from God and more to providing a ‘superior, successful, academic education‘. But deep in my heart I knew that something was missing. Oh, don’t get me wrong: we did Bible study and had memory verses and all those right things, yet something was missing. I knew that I was doing what God wanted- after all, I was doing this for Him, for His glory! Right? Oh boy, God was to show me how wrong I had been. After a few years, in His right time, He stepped in and didn’t leave me to wander for too long.

Our Homeschool Journey

Our Story: Beginning to homeschool

Post updated 28-4-13

I am Susan, married for nearly 25 years to John. We have a blended family whereby we have four children together and a 26year old son. Currently, the other children are 22yo daughter,a 20yo daughter, an 18yo son and a 15yo son. This is ‘officially’ our 16th year of homeschooling although we don’t think of it that way. We believe that homeschooling is simply a natural extension of parenting. We are a Defence Force family and have recently moved back to Adelaide after several years interstate. We’ve had 7 homes in 7 years and this is the last, for awhile. This is our story.

When John and I were first married we hadn’t heard of home education. We knew that we wanted to have a good, solid relationship with our children and raise them in God’s ways but school was just ‘what you did’. We had goals for our family and our children. We wanted to raise godly adults using a healthy process. We wanted to develop in them a love of learning that would continue throughout their whole life. Our hearts were turned toward our children and we wanted their hearts to be turned toward us and God. The godly training of our children was a priority. We recognized that the family unit is God’s design. We wanted a close relationship with our children…we wanted to capture their heart but we didn’t know about homeschooling…so, we sent our eldest, Miss A, to a small private Christian school. It was a nice school. John ended up as chairman of the P&C committee and I was at the school several times a week helping with reading and cleaning and canteen.

But we started to experience a few problems. Miss A would come home from school and be very emotional. She would either burst into tears for no apparent reason or she’d be snippy with her younger sister. We’d also help her with her homework, which was reviewing the spelling words, reading practice, times tables and Bible verse. On more than one occasion I wondered what on earth she did at school for 6 hours if we needed to do all this work at home. I felt like our days consisted of getting ready for school, being at school and then being tired from school. I felt like we, as parents, were missing out. School was getting the best hours of my child’s day! School was teaching her Bible stories and her character was being moulded by someone other than us. As it turned out that there were no problems at school… Miss A was just very tired. However, the seed had been planted in my mind- I questioned the whole concept of school. I don’t recall where I initially heard about homeschooling but I do remember saying to John,

“Oh, I wish I were one of those women who could homeschool her children”

John asked me what made me think I couldn’t? I responded with,

“Oh no way, I just don’t have enough patience!”

But the question nagged at me. Why couldn’t I? So we thought about it and talked about it. We started talking to others about it. We prayed about it. Eventually, we decided to give it trial run for 12 months. We informed the school principal that Miss A would not be returning to school the following year. Suffice it to say that we were not all that popular from then on.

I bought a series of progressive workbooks, worked out some schedules and away we went! I didn’t give the girls a break that Christmas. I had them complete the testing to see precisely what levels to start with. Then we started with what I knew of education– public school style. Yes, I had brought them home from school but I also brought school into the home. It was kinda fun…for awhile. But I started to get bored of doing the same thing day in and day out and wondered if I’d be able to do this for another 10 years or so. A few months later…

“Hear, O Israel; The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.”
Deuteronomy 6:48 (ESV)

Continue reading the rest of this series:

Delight Directed Learning

I’ve always pursued my delights. Pursuing homeschooling was a delight yet has ended up being our lifestyle. I think it’s really important for a mum to pursue a delight. It sets a living example of how we’d like to see our children live and it also keeps us in awe of God as Creator and Giver.

However, there have been times in my life, especially during periods of stress and busyness, where I’ve questioned whether or not I should continue to pursue my delight or interest. I mean, wouldn’t it be selfish of me to do so? But my husband disagrees! So do I, when I think about it sensibly. Of course for the believer, spending time in God’s word will come first but is it healthy for a mum to serve the family to the exclusion of her own needs? Some mums can develop a type of martyrdom complex which is really not healthy at all. Pursuing a delight, a passion, an interest, can give mum the refreshment she needs to continue on with her wifely, motherly and house managing duties with vigor. Working within your delight may also keep you feeling younger! Psalm 103:4-5 What a great living example to the whole family! A refreshing atmosphere of renewal, joy, satisfaction, vigor…

…who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:5

Sometimes, a mother’s passion or delight can be something that the Lord places on your heart…maybe it will grow to be something that will serve others and bring glory to the Father.

I have delights and interests…and my family knows all about it, as do regular readers of my blog. :laugh: Sometimes it is health and green smoothies, other times it is exercising and getting fit, but a lot of the time it is website development. Whenever I’m pursuing an interest I read, read, and read all about it. I make copious notes and I talk about it. I collect ingredients or equipment. I research! I unknowingly use the 4 step process. And yes, at times my learning becomes infectious- the whole family catches on! And yes, currently the family has ‘caught’ my current fitness/exercising interest! 😉 I unconsciously go through all the stages of learning about that interest and I tend to use varied means to express myself. This is true learning. This is the style of learning I want my children to pick up on, for it is lifelong learning- not relegated to one book, one subject or one grade level…rather it is life! Throughout, my mind is refreshed and renewed and nourished- what better than to give to my family from a full well?

Okay, let’s look at it this way. If you had 45 minutes for yourself, what would you like to do? Sew, knit, garden, paint, write, take photo’s, scrapbook, cook, decorate, do hair, make soap, make perfume, play an instrument, read, write poetry, exercise, embroider…pitch a softball, design a website…the list goes on- it’s endless. (However, catching up on housework or sleep is not what I’m talking about, okay?)

It doesn’t have to take hours per week. There’s no ‘delight directed police’ who will tell you you’re doing it wrong. The only criteria is that it is something that you are interested in…something that you would like to try. It doesn’t have to be bigger than Ben Hur…you just have to start.

Will you? Start today?

Will you then share it with me? I’d love to hear of your delight directed learning.

Do You Have Fun?

I like to have fun! I love a good belly laugh. But what is fun? Do you ever ask yourself what is fun? I’m not against humour or laughing but how often do I use the word ‘fun’, as though it were really something to strive for…something that is really important. I don’t think God meant for us not to have fun- He is the God of celebration after all! The Bible is full of stories where great celebrations have occurred. The Jewish people are commanded to celebrate their exodus from Egypt…David danced… Jesus even turned water into wine whilst at a wedding! But is this different to what I say when I use the word, fun? Is fun something I should be working toward, desiring, or striving for? Is it a word that I should be using regularly or would I be better off using (and practising) such nouns as ‘happy’ and ‘joy’? Is the seemingly preoccupation with fun more prevalent today than in generations past? We love reading older books (written pre 1950’s) and ‘fun’ just isn’t mentioned as often as in the more modern books…or am I wrong?

Websters 1828 dictionary has this entry:

FUN, n. Sport; vulgar merriment. A low word.

Wow…kinda puts a different spin on it uh? Of course, the word fun’ isn’t found in the older versions of the Bible…so I won’t go there.

Happy:
1. Lucky; fortunate; successful.
2. Being in the enjoyment of agreeable sensations from the possession of good; enjoying pleasure from the gratification of appetites or desires. The pleasurable sensations derived from the gratification of sensual appetites render a person temporarily happy; but he only can be esteemed really and permanently happy, who enjoys peace of mind in the favor of God. To be in any degree happy, we must be free from pain both of body and of mind; to be very happy, we must be in the enjoyment of lively sensations of pleasure, either of body or mind.
3. Prosperous; having secure possession of good.
4. That supplies pleasure; that furnishes enjoyment; agreeable; applied to things; as a happy condition.
5. Dexterous; ready; able.
6. Blessed; enjoying the presence and favor of God, in a future life.
7. Harmonious; living in concord; enjoying the pleasures of friendship; as a happy family.
8. Propitious; favorable.

How about ‘joy‘?
1. The passion or emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good; that excitement of pleasurable feelings which is caused by success, good fortune,the gratification of desire or some good possessed, or by a rational prospect of possessing what we love or desire; gladness; exultation; exhilaration of spirits.
2. Gayety; mirth; festivity.
3. Happiness; felicity.
4. A glorious and triumphant state.
5. The cause of joy or happiness.
6. A term of fondness; the cause of you.

JOY, v.i. To rejoice; to be glad; to exult.
JOY, v.t. To give joy to; to congratulate; to entertain kindly.
1. To gladden; to exhilarate.
2. To enjoy; to have or possess with pleasure, or to have pleasure in the possession of.

Just some thoughts that randomly roam through my mind… maybe I’m just too serious? But I’ve often felt a little guilty and yet envious of those who have more fun. I’ve wished I was more ‘funner’…and there is place for that, but not before joy, peace, happiness, contentment, assurance, etc. What do you think?

Aussie Homeschool Suppliers

Used curriculum, books, texts and other resources can be bought, swapped or advertised at AussieHomeschool.

ADNIL PRESS – Australian publishers of Voyages in Language, Voyages in Literature; and Australian distributors for Memoria Press (Latina Christiana), Dinah Zike books, Peace Hill Press (The Well-Trained Mind, Story of the Word), Geomatters, Schonell Spelling, Child Sized Masterpieces (“Mommy, It’s a Renoir”), plus more. We are also now the sole Australian Representative for the ‘Institute for Excellence in Writing!’ Also combined with TRIVIUM-EDUCATIONAL(See Below). Contact us for a combined Adnil Press / Trivium Educational catalogue.

ALWAYS LEARNING BOOKS – Beverley Paine – Writer and publisher of home education books, unschooling and natural learning books. Now stocking books by John Holt, John Peacock, Grace Llewellyn, Linda Dobson, Mary Griffith, Ann Lahrson-Fisher, and others. Publishing Homeschool Australia e-newsletter and Unschool~Kidz! e-zine. http://www.beverleypaine.com and Always Learning Books!

AUSTRALIAN HISTORY PICTURES
Janette’s Pictures Of Australian History and timeline figures; are intended to be used, to teach Australian history. They are a series of pictures or scenes with accompanying notes and rhyme on Australia’s first 100 years of history. They are designed to create windows and hooks; windows that give you a picture of what was going on at a given time and hooks that inform and encourage children (and adults) to investigate further. http://australianhistorypictures.com

CHARIOT PRESS: Suppliers of Learning Language Arts Through Literature, The Learnables, Singapore Mathematics, Doorposts, and more.

CHRISTIAN ACADEMY OF LIFE : Christian based curriculum materials, resources and support.

CORRESPONDENCE PIANO LESSONS: This successful method uses a set of video tapes for demonstration of piano technique and normal phone calls for weekly, individual tuition with music tutor, Ruth Drew ATCL.
http://gdrew.au.com/piano.htm

CREDO TRUST
We are a Christian family supplying Drawn into the Heart of Reading, Bluestocking Press Economics books, Literary Lessons from the Lord of the Rings, Notgrass Exploring World History, Queen Homeschool Supplies, Pearables, and many more…
www.credotrust.com

DOWNUNDER LITERATURE is run by Michelle Morrow,a homeschooling mother of four children. This publishing business provides quality science,english and history homeschooling resources written with the Australian homeschooler in mind. We have developed a few Downunder products for sale but we want to be more than that. We want to serve homeschoolers by giving access (for free when possible) to distinctly Australian and New Zealand books and resource materials.On this site you will find original products for sale and free educational resources. All our products can be found on our product list and resource index. http://www.downunderlit.com

EBENEZER BOOKS – Parrish Family
We specialise in Godly books and music for children and adults which teach and entertain while they
help to build character. We stock a large range including; fiction, biography, historical fiction and non fiction, character building & heritage story books, Bible story books, colour-in and activity books, music and more. Our books will compliment any curriculum.
http://ebenezerbooks.mywebhome.ca/

GOLDEN BEETLE BOOKS – Rudolf Steiner Education and homeschooling teaching manuals.

Grammar On One Hand: A Tool Kit For Writers DVD
(88 minutes) — visit:http://www.vernaheights.com.au

FOUNTAIN RESOURCES – Australian company, specialising in homeschooling titles and Catholic books. If you are looking for a title but can not see it in their catalogue, they may be able to order it in anyway. http://www.fountainresources.com.au/

HOMESCHOOL AUSTRALIA – Beverley Paine is an Australian author, home educational consultant, and publisher of homeschooling books. She has a special interest in unschooling and natural learning, though her site includes material of interest to all Australian home educators, with information, articles, links to newsletters, and more.
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com/ and http://homeschoolaustralia.come/

HOME SCHOOL FAVOURITES – Catalogue put out by Mary Collis, editor of A Living Education – Resources include Usborne Books, homeschooling materials produced by Diana Waring, Cindy Rushton, Penny Gardner, Greenleaf Press, and more.
http://www.homeschoolfavourites.com.au/

HOMESCHOOL HEAVEN – Australian suppliers of audio tapes from Jim Weiss, and modest clothing patterns from Sense and Sensibility.
http://www.homeschoolheaven.com.au

KAREN’S AUSTRALIAN USED HOMESCHOOL BOOKS
Lots of hard-to-find titles! http://www.auhb.net

KINGSLEY EDUCATIONAL (KEPL) – Australian company – sells Christian text-books & other materials, (Saxon maths books and Weaver) provides assistance with home education. http://www.kepl.com.au

LEATHERWOOD BOOKS – Australian family-owned business. Catalogue includes a wonderful selection of living books.
http://www.leatherwoodbooks.com.au/

LIGHT EDUCATIONAL MINISTRIES (LEM) Sells Christian text-books (A Beka, Bob Jones University Press, Christian Liberty Press, etc.) Provides assistance with home education. http://www.lem.com.au

MANY HOME BLESSINGS – Helping you enrich your Home-life through products and resources that encourage excellence and a return to family values.
http://www.manyhomeblessings.com.au/

Math-U-See Australasia– Tony & Esther White
For a free Demonstration DVD, giving an outline of the entire curriculum and philosophy behind Math-U-See phone or email:
Ph: Math-U-See products. Order from MUS website: http://mathusee.com

ST ATHANASIUS BOOKSELLERS – stockists of Catholic books
Ph 08-8345 1522
Opening hours for calling in:Thur, Fri, Sat 10.30am – 5pm.Books on homeschooling: Catholic Education-Homeward Bound; Catholic Homeschool Treasury; Catholic Homeschooling. Living history books including many mentioned in popular curriculum guides such as Greenleaf, 4 reallearning etc.
Email:stathan@chariot.net.au

STEINER EDUCATIONAL MATERIALS and books: www.steiner-australia.org/other/bookshop.html

HEART AND HOME Mail Order – Family Resources for Building Healthy Hearts and Happy Homes. Stockists of quality reading and listening materials for young Christians, including the Miller Family Books, the Moody Family Series, and various character building and training books. Parenting and homeschooling products by the Maxwell Family, Jeff and Marge Bath and Dr S.M. Davis, and health resources such as Grain Master Whisper Mill and Easiyo Products also available at very reasonable prices. Email:sjnicholas@fastmail.fm

Homeschool Glossary

Here are a few of the most commonly used acronyms and terms. This list is by no means exhaustive. Please leave a comment below if you have something to add to this list.
This list does not include vendors or suppliers. I have been slowly compiling this list over the course of a few years. It is also printed at AussieHomeschool.

Acronyms

ACG is A Child’s Geography by Ann Voskamp
ACHOW is A Child’s History of the World (Hillyer)
AO is Ambleside Online, a free online CM based curriculum
ATW180Days is Around the Word in 180 Days
CE is Classical Education, usually using a Classical Curriculum
CM is Charlotte Mason.
ETC – Explode the Code
ETWHC is Educating the Wholehearted Child by the Clarkson’s
FAR is Far Above Rubies
FIAR is Five In A Row and BFIAR is Before FIAR
HEA – Home Education Association of Australia
HOW is Heart of Wisdom by Robin Sampson, also included is the HOWTA which is the HOW Teaching Approach
HWT – Handwriting Without Tears
LA is sometimes the unit study program called Learning Adventures or
LA is also Language Arts (the subject of studying English)
LLATL is Learning Language Arts Through Literature
MMM us Making Math Meaningful
MOH is Mystery of History by Linda Hobar
MUS is Math-U-See
RB is usually Ruth Beechick
SL is Sonlight
SM can be Singapore maths
SOTW is Story of the World (Bauer)
The 3 R’s and YCTYCS is for You Can Teach Your Child Successfully Grade 4-8 by Ruth Beechick
TT can be teaching textbooks
TTT or the Bluedorn’s is Teaching the Trivium by the Bluedorn’s.
TWTM is The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer

General Abbreviations

Afterschooling – Refers to supplementing a child’s learning after school. In other words, after a child attends regular public or private school all day, they engage in additional educational classes or activities supervised by their parents, tutors, or others.
AP is usually the Authorised person from the BOS.
BOS – Board of Studies
Burnout is a term used to describe a parent or child who has become exhausted from the process of homeschooling.
Carschooling – A term coined by Diane Flynn Keith to describe learning while riding in the car.
Classical Education – A process of teaching children to learn based on developmental phases and educational principles developed by the ancients. For the primary years, children learn fact-based information. In the middle school years, children learn logic and reasoning, and in the high school period, children develop the art of abstraction and persuasion. Also referred to as “trivium-based.”
CM – Miss Mason was a 19th century educator who believed that education should be based on great literature and the arts. She believed in a leisurely, self-directed style of education based on observation and reflection, often through discussion and journaling. Charlotte Mason education is based on a lifelong quest for knowledge and the skills.
Copywork – This technique is used to help students learn to write — from the initial skill of forming alphabet letters, all the way through learning to write sentences, paragraphs, poetry and more. Once students have the ability to copy sentences and paragraphs, they usually copy excerpts from good/classic literature. The idea is that by copying, they learn the techniques of great writers that they can then apply to their own original writing.
COS – Course of Study
Course of Study – Refers to an outline of academic subjects to be covered by grade level such as: English, Math, Social Sciences, Science, Visual & Performing Arts, Health, Physical Education, etc. Each subject may be broken down into topics and sub-topics with references to the educational textbooks, workbooks, and other materials and resources that will be used for study. See World Book Encyclopedia’s Typical Course of Study for PreK-12.
Curriculum – The materials used for a course, which can include a text-book, a teacher and grading guide, lesson plans, tests, and worksheets.
DE – Distance Education Provider – A school that enrols homeschooling children or families and offers services and curriculum supportive of home education.
Deschooling – Deschooling refers to the period of time, also called decompression, when students (and family) adjusts after leaving a traditional school setting. This period can range from a few weeks to an entire year, depending upon the student’s needs. It has been estimated that a period of deschooling be allowed according to the following: 1 month of deschooling for every one year that the child has been attending school.
Eclectic Approach – A method of teaching that does not rely on any one approach but rather culls the best from multiple approaches.
Lapbooking is a method of recording and tracking learning about a particular subject through the use of “foldables” which are then mounted and stored on file folders that have been refolded from a bi-fold form into a tri-fold form for better presentation. Often associated with Notebooking
Learning Methods – Learning methods focus on the way a person best takes in and processes information.
Learning Styles – This includes Auditory (learning through listening and talking), Visual (learning through seeing) and Kinesthetic/Tactile (learning through movement and touch).
Notebooking – A method used to creatively journal or track homeschool studies and learning experiences by recording them on pages in notebooks or 3-ring binders.
Relaxed homeschooling – Relaxed homeschooling is a similar term to Unschooling but takes more of an eclectic or blended approach, fitting curricula and resources to each student.
School at Home – traditional schooling – A common beginning method of homeschooling in which a family attempts to simply recreate a conventional classroom education within their home. Many times this includes a boxed curriculum and can be somewhat of a rigid daily schedule. Also referred to as Boxed curriculum or School in a Box or Pre-packaged Curriculum.
Scope and Sequence – S & S An outline of skills and information to be taught, typically organised by grade level or by course. Provides information on what will be covered.
Socialisation (The “S” Word) – Many homeschoolers are criticised as not providing appropriate socialisation, meaning the interaction found in a traditional school. As homeschoolers point out, traditional school’s artificial grouping by age, grade, and ability-level, is a dysfunctional and unrealistic situation compared to the socialisation of children within a family and more natural social groupings.
Supplemental Resources – These are educational materials, field trips, and projects that are used to enhance the learning experience.
Textbooks/ Workbooks– Textbooks are just one part of a package of resource materials that includes: a scope and sequence, an educators’ manual with teaching strategies, a student book with content explanations and examples, and a practice workbook. These packages usually offer a workbook or an enrichment workbook that focuses on higher level critical thinking skills.
Unit Study/ Thematic study– A cross-curricular educational approach in which learning is focused around a central, common theme. For instance, a unit study on cars would teach the development and use of early cars (history), major highways (geography), different engine types (science),etc. Proponents of the unit study approach suggest that using unit studies allows students to immerse themselves in a topic and see that topic as a “whole,” rather than learning bits and pieces throughout their education.
Unschooling/Natural Learning – Also known as student-led education, this is a teaching method in which students study those topics that interest them, rather than follow a pre-defined curriculum.

Fair Go for Homeschool Copyright

Part of this post is from a previous writing, but is still relevant today. Will you take three minutes to view this video?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJmWKb0_aXw

Years ago, like many homeschoolers, I looked for ways to be frugal in our homeschooling. I learned to use the library a lot. They have some great selections of video’s, DVD’s, and CD’s. Sometimes we wouldn’t get around to watching or listening to them so I came upon the idea of making a copy before returning it to the library. I even felt quite frugal while doing so. After all, if I had to buy that CD I would need to have spent about $40. But now I had saved that. Before long, I ended up with a stack of things that I don’t think I would have needed or used, but as they were free I might as well have them on the shelf, just in case. I had even lent out my resources, feeling fairly sure that the person was going to make their own copy! Thing is, I honestly didn’t even think that this might have been wrong or illegal. I know that sounds terribly naive, but it’s true. I didn’t think anything of it except congratulating myself on being frugal and saving my husband’s hard earned money. I certainly didn’t see how I was hurting anyone else!

Oi voi!

Praise God! He taught me the error of my ways. He did not allow me to stay at that place. He showed me my sin. I was convicted of my wrongdoing. I set apart searching for every little bit of illegal stuff in my house and then we burnt it all. It was a whole family affair. Something started fairly innocently. I did not set out to steal or deceive. I just wanted to save a few pennies…but the fallen nature of man, and the enemy that seeks to devour worked and saw me down a path that I hardly recognised…a path I didn’t set out to take, but ended up there anyway. Thank God that He rescued me from that path and put me on the straight and narrow.

As is often the case with reformed drinkers or smokers, I developed a hot spot (a bug-bear, a passion) for copyright protection and violations. I now stringently try to protect the lawful copyright owner and go to great lengths to ensure that everything I do is above board. I encourage others to always check out the law and consider the use of a Fair Use Policy. Copyright is far more than a list of black and white words- it is legal, ethical, moral and Biblical values.

Do you want to homeschool for FREE? Make sure your free materials aren’t breaking the law. HomeschoolCopyright.com

Good homeschooling books

If you are looking at beginning homeschooling, need some ideas or encouragement, here are a few of my favourite books on the topic:

A Biblical Home Education by Ruth Beechick
For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
I Saw the Angel in the Marble by Chris and Ellyn Davis
Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson
Heart of Wisdom Teaching Approach by Robin Sampson
Education in the Heart of the Home by Elizabeth Foss
Upgrade by Kevin Swanson (although mainly for the later years)
You Can Teach Your Child Grades 4-8 by Ruth Beechick (later years) and
The 3 R’s by Ruth Beechick (practical) and
Before Five In A Row by Jane Lambert (practical)
Leota’s Garden by Francine Rivers. This book is excellent to teach parents how to use metaphorical language and object lessons in their parenting and teaching.

A few other suggestions AFTER reading the books listed above:

A Charlotte Mason Education by Catherine Levison
More Charlotte Mason Education by Catherine Levison
When You Rise Up by R.C.Sproul Jr.
Pocketful of Pinecones by Karen Andreola
The Preschool Years by Valerie Bendt
Reaping the Harvest – by Diana Waring
Easy Homeschooling Companion by Lorraine Curry
Things we wish we’d known by Diana Waring
Homeschooling: A Patchwork of Days, edited by Nancy Lande
100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy
Guerrilla Learning and The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn

Have I missed your favourite? Let me know by leaving the title in the comments.

Getting Started in Homeschooling

Here are a few of my tips for beginning the homeschool journey.

1) Make the Decision
Making the decision to homeschool is not to be taken lightly or quickly. It is a daunting task to take on the full responsibility for your child’s education. Here are some considerations to help you think through the process.

2) Read books
Yes, reading books is actually much better than reading blogs or websites mainly because there is just so much information available that it can be totally overwhelming. I suggest starting off with a few good books on the topic.

3) Understanding Homeschool Laws
It is very important to know and stay within the laws and requirements of your state. In general, it is not wise to start by asking your local school what the homeschooling law is – often they don’t know, and they may give you misleading information. They may quote policy as though it were law…you need to find out the laws regarding home education in your state.

4) Finding a Support Group
If you’re reading this then you’ve already started this step. Join AussieHomeschool and meet others in the forums.However you may also like to get involved with a non online support group. This often takes a great deal of patience and time as you find a group that is a right match for your family. Homeschoolers are very diverse! However, a support group will generally meet on a semi regular basis for outings or parent meetings where they offer encouragement and help along the way. They can help with choosing curriculum, record keeping, meeting the state laws, and much more.

5) Choosing a Curriculum
Selecting your curriculum can be overwhelming. It is possible to over purchase more than you will ever need. Generally I would advise that in the beginning, less is best!

6) Record Keeping/Documenting Learning Activities and Opportunities
It is very important to keep good records of your child’s homeschool years. Your records can be as simple as a daily journal or as elaborate as a purchased computer program or notebook system.

7) Schedules and Routines
Homeschoolers generally have a lot of freedom in setting up and living within their schedule and routine, but it sometimes takes a while to find out what works best for your family. It’s helpful to hear about what others are doing.

8) Learn a little about Homeschool Methods
There are many methods to homeschool your children. Most families find that they do not use one method solely rather take bits and pieces from all approaches as the needs of their family dictates. A method should be seen as a tool to assist you in homeschooling…it is not an approach that needs to be strictly adhered to.

9) Locate curriculum providers.
Peruse their websites as they often contain a lot of valuable information. Continue to look through resource suppliers, vendors and the ‘Homeschool Mall’ section at AussieHomeschool.

10) Consider becoming a member of the HEA:
The Home Education Australia site has been formed to support, promote and encourage the practice of home education. There are many benefits to becoming a member.

Join the AussieHomeschool Community

Dealing with My Thorn in the Flesh

John is away for work. He may be away for approximately 10 weeks out of the next 16 weeks. We will miss him like crazy…and I just hope and pray that nothing too technical breaks down on our servers, but we’ll manage. I’m not particularly fazed or scared about him being away so much.

Except.

Except in one area. Those who know me in real life, or have followed my blog for awhile may guess as to my area of concern…which also led to my previous post where I voiced this concern about parenting from grace or law. Not that the two can be separated (imbalance is always the result) but my concern is the daily living. The practical reality of everyday life when it is not perfect or ideal.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

There was a time when I was verbally and physically abrasive. I despised that about myself. I also inherited those traits as learned behaviour and I wanted to break that vicious cycle. So, I set about identifying my triggers. Once identified I became proactive in ordering my lifestyle and habits so as to avoid these triggers as much as possible. Yes sadly, I still need to be controlled by externals in some areas of my life. However, by the grace of God, He is doing a work in me and the things He has taught me have helped me to avoid being abusive toward the ones I love. The problem with external controls is that when they are removed or not in place for various reasons, then self control must take over or all hell breaks loose. I live with a situation that is a huge trigger for me. Much of it is allayed by the fact that I am under my husband’s authority and so he handles much of the situation which is a trigger for me. But when he goes away, he trusts me and delegates full authority to me.

I am not scared of the person. I’m scared of myself. I have seen myself in action and it is not pretty. It is harmful. It can be devastating. I am weak. I will be clinging to 2 Cor 12:9-10

Getting back to my previous post: I like to set fairly rigid rules for our family to live by when John isn’t at home. Problem is, we don’t have too many rules normally. As an example, sometimes, I’ll send the children to bed at 9.30pm and other times it will be midnight. There is never any fuss- this is part of how we practically live by grace. But one child cannot live that way. This child needs a concrete line drawn in the sand. Without it, the child simply will not go to bed at all. Even when the line is drawn, they will push, and push and push- nagging, whining, yelling, screaming: doing anything necessary to *win* (as seen in their eyes).

We parent using natural consequences. If one would like to wear clean clothes on Tuesday, then one will need to wash on Monday. Right? Fair enough? If one does not put them in the laundry or wash them for themselves, then they will not be ready. No, I will NOT run down to the store and buy some brand new socks! No, you may not use my socks. You will have to live with the consequences of your own actions. Harsh? maybe…but fair. However, there is one child who refuses to accept this way of life. Simply and point blank refuses.

So with John not home, the only way I know how to cope is to set firm rules and we all live by them. However, it is really quite draining and hard to live by rules all the time. I find it sucks the very life-joy from me. I know not everyone feels this way but in this situation, I do. We have lived by our Family Ways before and most of us can do it…but it’s wearing. It’s wearing because there is only one who sets out to make it very difficult. Hence my dilemma of what to do and who to do it. I do not want to be broken to the point where I resort to past behaviour. I am weak. I am not strong, like some women have mistakenly believed about me. In fact, I’m not even nice. I can be horrible. I need God’s grace. I need His peace. And I need Him to be very real in my life throughout the coming months.

I know God will help me. I know He will be with me. With all my pro activeness and practising of self control, can I, without God, do that which is commanded of me? Can I submit my flesh, to God? Will I ever be at the point where this ‘thorn in my flesh’ will be able to be used for my own good…let alone God’s glory?

Resistance Training

Just learned that weight lifting is the second lowest injury sport one can do. Walking is the safest and then weight lifting bcz it is done in a controlled, supervised way unlike many other activities. However, more than walking, weight lifting after searching supplement reviews and then buying the best one can actually makes your bones stronger!

I want to be able to lift my grandkids up in the air and to keep up with them. Well, while walking is good, it’s not as good for my bones as weight lifting or resistance training.

I don’t worry about getting all huge and masculine like. It’s not likely that I’ll train enough to look masculine. (One has to work VERY hard and take HEAPS of protein to achieve that) Plus, being female, I don’t have the natural advantage of testosterone so I won’t get bulky and huge rather toned and strong. Whoohoo, the Proverbs 31 in physical action!

For those that are keen but don’t have weights or are scared of them or can’t afford them: never fear. A set of resistance bands (AMart, Kmart, Big W, Target will do) will do exactly the same job! And, it’s very safe! Whilst there are many websites that will show you how to use the bands, here is one just to get you started.

How cool is that?

Do you use weights or resistance? How? What is your program? How much do you do? Please share?

Resistance workout

High Intensity Interval Training for Homeschool Mums

If you have read any of my Fitn40 posts you would have seen the acronym HIIT. You may have wondered what on earth it is all about. Quite simply, it is short for High Intensity Interval Training– a method of working out. You can see my initial thoughts on it in a previous post.

What is it?
HIIT or High Intensity Interval Training is a form of cardio that involves intervals of varying intensities, with some of those intensities quite high. A typical HIIT session will involve some bursts of “give-it-all-I’ve-got” training followed by periods of lower intensity that allow for active recovery (this means my body can recover somewhat even though I haven’t completely stopped exercising).

Where can I do it?
Anywhere! I can use a machine as in a treadmill, bike, rower, elliptical trainer or other such things or you can do it while walking around the oval, swimming or jogging. I usually use the exercise bike or the treadmill.

When can I/should I do it?
Anytime is a good time! However, some enthusiasts like to do their HIIT workout before breakfast. I can see how beneficial this might be but it’s usually not viable for me at this time. My daughter loves to do a hard HIIT workout after tea. She says she sleeps like a baby that night.

Why should I do it?

The advantages of HIIT training are that I burn more calories in a shorter period of time.
It trains my cardiovascular system to work under a heavier stress load. Strengthening my heart is a good thing!
HIIT boosts my metabolism for up to 18 hours after the session. Whoohoo! This has to be good! So I can lose weight/burn fat while I sit at the computer.
The disadvantage of HIIT is that it is high intensity and therefore requires time to recover. I (along with most other people) can only manage a few (three or four) HIIT sessions per week. HIIT is not beneficial for everyone- especially for those who are on a very restricted calorie intake, which I’m not. It depends upon your needs.
It doesn’t take me too long. I can’t stand the thought of working out for hours (boring!) nor am a delighted at the prospect of training to get fit only to spend hours more time working out. HIIT gives me a solid cardio workout in a short amount of time. In a word: Efficiency.
I’m able to customise my cardio workout to suit my needs. It can be adapted to suit any fitness level according to the individual’s needs and goals. (Um, why wouldn’t a homeschooler go in for that philosophy? 😉 )
It’s about working smarter- not longer.
To be a good role model for my children. This not only encourages them to be fit and healthy but also encourages me and my family members to push through – to not give up.

How do I do it?
The HIIT method that I use is detailed in Body for Life by Bill Phillips. It involves a few minutes of warm-up, followed by intervals that last a minute. For example, on the treadmill or bike I might do a minute at 5 miles per hour (mph), then a minute at 6mph, a minute at 7mph, a minute at 8mph, then you drop back down to 5mph and repeat.

Body for Life has some information on it, including a handy chart.

Choose a form of aerobic exercise – walking or running on a treadmill or elliptical machine or biking inside or outside. On a scale of 1 -10, 1 being the easiest and 10 the hardest, start exercising at a level 5 intensity (Your level 5 will be different to my level 5).

1. Minute 1 – warm up at Intensity Level 5
2. Minute 2 -3 – move from Intensity Level 5 to 6
3. Minute 3 – Level 7
4. Minute 4 – Level 8
5. Minute 5 – Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
6. Minute 6 – Back to Level 6
7. Minute 7 – Level 7
8. Minute 8 – Level 8
9. Minute 9- Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
10. Minute 10 – Level 6
11. Minute 11 – Level 7
12. Minute 12 – Level 8
13. Minute 13 – Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
14. Minute 14 – Level 6
15. Minute 15 – Level 7
16. Minute 16 – Level 8
17. Minute 17 – Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
18. Minute 18 – Level 10 – C’mon, Give me Just One More Minute
19. Minute 19 – Back to Level 5 – Cool down
20. Walk gently while stretching out.

Alternate weight-training and cardio workouts for six consecutive days and rest on the seventh day.

I have a printout which is pinned to the wall, right above the tready and bike- so I can easily keep track of where I need to be. You can download it here, (pdf) from my download section.

The Sacred Cows of Homeschooling

I’m not much different to a biker! No, not really. My husband was a biker, not just rode a bike but was a biker, in every true sense of the word. He lived by a code. I wasn’t not a biker by any stretch of the imagination. But I still lived by a code- a different code to that of my husband but a code nevertheless. We can all tend to live by a code if we’re not careful. Just because we stick a Jesus or fish sticker on the code, doesn’t make it right.

Thankfully God revealed Himself to us and He poured His grace upon us. Ah, the freedom, the liberty, the absolute peace that living under grace was all about was astounding. The Holy Spirit moved through us as we ministered to others and He also ministered to us directly. I was young in the faith but my love for God and His word, my passion and zeal was strong. I knew I had things to learn but I also knew where I’d come from and how much God had taught me in a relatively short time. I knew He would continue to teach me- and then I would know it was truly His work in me- not a work of the flesh.

Early on in our marriage, John and I were in ministry and had learned something of the ‘cows that Christians hold sacred’. What a Christian is supposed to do and not supposed to do- according to Scripture…supposedly. Our sacred cows are often nothing more than filthy rags…an outworking of the flesh. We have always fought against sacred cows both in Church life and personal Christian life.

When our children came along we wanted the best for them. We wanted to train them in the ways of the Lord and build solid relationships with them- encouraging them always toward God. We wanted to help them to discover their God-given gifts and talents. We wanted to encourage them to serve the Lord with their whole heart. To serve man, as serving the Lord.

With great enthusiasm we entered the wide world of home education. It was exciting and everything we wanted for our family. I started to see better ways of homeschooling. Better ways of training our children. More godly ways of teaching our children. More godly forms of dress, of eating, of playing, of work.

Sacred Cows.

I have lived through the ‘Thief in the Night’ era, the scare of the New Age movement, the Christian Rock era, the laughing spirit, the gold dust, gold teeth, spiritual barking in the aisles, spiritual dancing era and much more. Fads fall in and out of fashion, even within Christianity, sadly. These teachings all have a place but we can tend to take them to extremes and become unbalanced.

I see danger.

We live on the super information highway. We have so much information available to us that it’s just plain scary. It’s confusing. Daunting. Overwhelming. Constantly, we are told by the media what to think, what to wear, what to eat, how to spend money, etc. As believers who are slaves of Christ and not the world, let us not conform to man made traditions…we shouldn’t check our brains at the church door just because it is church. Or just because a book/teacher/lovely woman said so.

As a Christian who sees the danger in this modern world it is easy to embrace the sacred cows of homeschooling. And one thing I have learned is that homeschooling is often extreme. Sure it’s extreme in many ways and I actually love and appreciate that. But the extreme baggage that comes with it is something I do not appreciate. Maybe you didn’t know it beforehand, but the homeschooling lifestyle often has its own CODE. Just like bikers have their code, so did I.

After all, I desired to serve God with my whole heart. I want nothing more than to dedicate my life to serving Him. I want my children to know Him as I know Him. I desire that they love Him as I love Him. But in this day, how can I be sure that will happen? By living according to the code. I’ve often seen it applied and lived out as a formula, but another term is ‘a code’. Regardless, it’s a trap, it’s wrong. It’s an idol.The code takes biblical principles and makes a law out of them. The code replaces grace. The code is cleverly disguised. The code is upheld as being better, more godly, more spiritual, etc but it is simply another system. Another law. Another set of standards in which to live by. There is no grace involved in the practical sense, only in the words.

What is this code?

What exactly is in this code that so many start to innocently and genuinely embrace? The homeschool code may have started with God’s commands but it has added to it. It has complete doctrines built around it. It is putting words into the mouth of Scripture that simply are not there. But there is a feeling of safety in the code. It’s easier to look toward a code for how to live than to trust in God for every step.

I believe that much of the homeschool code is a knee-jerk reaction. We don’t want to be worldly so the opposite of that must be …The Code! Matters of preference and liberty are made into Law. We replace God’s actual Law and principles with our own interpretation of what we believe God’s principles OUGHT to be. Replacing God’s word (and grace, freedom, liberty, relationship) with a code robs us of our freedom and our joy in Christ. What? Does our freedom in Christ mean we can wear pants, buy store-bought bread and not head cover? True Christian freedom comes from having the freedom not to sin. That’s it. Anything more and it becomes the code.

The Law

Okay so what does this Homeschool Code look like?

Homeschool, homebirth, anti-vaccination, home-made cooking, home made bread, grinding own wheat, dresses only, plain dresses only, no pants, head-covering, training girls to only be SAHM, no university for girls, home business, homesteading, country life, father-centred homes, quiverfull, courtship, no tv…oh boy, the list just goes on and on. It’s all preference, not mandated. Now these are not bad or wrong. In themselves they’re good issues to seriously and prayerfully consider. But they are not law. They are not a formula for success. Adhering to them will not achieve salvation or be pleasing to God. Salvation is made possible because of the fullness of Christ and the work on the Cross. These issues are not wrong in and of themselves but they can become idolatrous. Idolatry begins in our heart- anything that takes the place of God.
Funny thing I’ve noticed is that despite all the teaching to the contrary it is often the homeschool mums who are striving for for this type of life…often it is she who read, studies and decides ( or puts the matter convincingly before her husband) upon this lifestyle. There’s an ideal lifestyle. That ideal looks pretty much perfect. And many strive for it. The result? Burnout, frustration, feeling of failure, feeling of guilt or sin…

I know. I was guilty of it. I read the books. I developed the vision. I strove toward it. My husband’s view of most issues hasn’t changed since the day we met. My ideals changed as I read books that purported the Christian Homeschool Code.

I believe God wants more from us than that. He wants more than His people living out a code. He wants relationship. He wants to lead us- daily. He wants us to go to Him, not man. The food we eat, the clothes we wear, the shows we watch, the books we read. He will give us His direction for our family. In fact, He did give my husband direction…but it wasn’t the same as what the Homeschool Code suggested and I tried to change our direction.

I don’t know if I have made any sense here. These are unprocessed thoughts I’ve had tumbling through my mind. I wrestled with the thought of not even publishing this post as I don’t wish to discourage anyone but after leaving it as a draft for some time I do believe need to speak it. I don’t know if anyone else but me needs to hear it, but I need to speak it. if none of this makes any sense to you, just put it out of your mind. If it bugs you, then feel free to ask me to clarify or feel free to comment and disagree. But most of all, pray about it and seek the Scriptures. Not a writer or a book but God’s word.

What sacred cows do you hold? Who or what do you serve? Really?

Living By Grace…Or By the Law

Living with others, by grace, is not always an easy thing, is it? Oh, it’s easy when one is away at church camp or at fellowship meeting but what about when one of those other imperfect people lives with you, in your house?

Let me be honest. At times, I feel it is easier to follow rules- to live BY THE LAW and to heed whatever my Overland Park Theft Lawyer says, than to live in grace. So many times I want to establish house rules, family rules, and by golly (as I punch my fist into my hand) I WILL assert those rules. Sometimes I want to run my home as if it were a military base (and I’m not the family member in the military!). Strangely, John (the military member) is one who cannot tolerate any form of legalism…yet I sometimes find myself strangely drawn to it. I think I find safety in it. If I obey XYZ rules, then God will protect me, right? Nothing bad will happen, right? I will be blessed, right? I will be happy, free, at peace, right?

WRONG!

It doesn’t happen like that. Unless you follow popular, modern teaching of prosperity or legalism teaching (in which case, it is unconfessed sin in my life or something I haven’t done right that resulted in an unfortunate situation) which is unbiblical. Sometimes stuff just happens! For various reasons- and only God knows why. I don’t believe that’s the issue though. The issue is more “Ok Father, how would you have me live within this or through this?”

A time is coming where I want to lay down the law in my home. I want to set a set of rules and by golly, everyone (except John, of course) WILL obey. But will they obey in love…will I have their heart? In all situations is that what is important? Where do we draw the line? Where is that line that is drawn between allowing attitudes and behaviour in order to keep lines of communication open and/or protecting/guarding the others in the family? How much can a parent take, before they have to draw the line?

Sorry for the incoherent ramble. This probably doesn’t make any sense…it’s just tumbling out of my mouth and onto the screen.

I don’t know…I don’t have any answers. Do you? Any words of wisdom to impart?

Stop Meddling – A Lesson from Proverbs

This past week we discussed Proverbs 26:17

Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.
Proverbs 26:17

Often when using Proverbs I find I don’t need to dig all that deeply in order to understand. This Proverb is pretty clear. What a word picture!

When you butt into an issue, [argument, quarrel, fight, etc] that is none of your business it is like grabbing a mad dog by the ears as you walk by.

Grabbing my Archeological Bible I noticed that it had a section on Dogs in the Ancient World. In ancient Israel dogs were generally not domesticated and ran in wild scavenging packs. They are depicted as roaming carnivores that hunted in packs, even inside cities. To have one’s corpse devoured by dogs was a dreadful fate, the epithet “dog” was extremely insulting and humiliating… implying that a human being was either worthless or evil. Some other cultures viewed dogs more favourably but we do not know how the ancient Israelites viewed dogs (or cats for that matter). What we can say however, is that the dogs this Proverb is referring to are not the cute puppies or Labradors that we have as common house pets. Grabbing one by the ears would be inviting serious harm.

I then asked the children to imagine an ancient Israelite scene. Could they imagine wild, carnivorous dogs roaming the city? Would they reach out and grab such an animal by the ears? Could they see the folly/stupidity in such an action? That’s exactly what we do when we add our 2c worth to an argument or quarrel in which we have no business.

Do we have any responsibility in the matter?

Do we have any authority in the area?

Will my words be ones of encouragement, bringing comfort, peace, grace or will they be ones that cause unnecessary grief and concern and cause hurt?

I reminded the children of the THINK principle. How do we know what is our business or affair?

Do we have any responsibility in the matter?
Do we have any authority in the area?
Will my words be ones of encouragement, bringing comfort, peace, grace or will they be ones that cause unnecessary grief and concern and cause hurt?

The proverbs are fantastic for instilling life principles in our little ones. They are literary and filled with vivid word pictures which also help keep them open to hearing to God’s word. Even resistant teens respond to this type of lesson! In fact, I’ve learned that I can teach my proverb principles to [biblically] resistant people by learning to speak in a proverbs way, quoting straight from the Scriptures without pointing out the references. After learning about this proverb that contains such word pictures it is then easy to reinforce this lesson as we live our days side by side: walking down the street, sitting down and and working and resting.

Relationship or Religion

To do what is right and just is more pleasing to ADONAI than sacrifice.
CJB

I’m a simple kind of gal. I love the poetic richness of the KJV but there are some times when I like to read other versions of the Bible as well. I’ve found it helpful in my walk as a believer but also as a parent, to learn the language of various Bible versions. I don’t talk in a ‘King James’ way. I can talk in a ‘ESV’ way but I often talk in a paraphrased way. I want to teach my children to walk in the ways of the Lord…to instill in them a love of God’s ways and discussion is one of my most influential and common ways that I can do this. It has something to do with living every day with my children- allowing them to see my life- letting them share in my life, that equals= relationship. This is why I tend to speak in paraphrased proverbs…it’s a natural thing for me to do.

I make mistakes. My children make mistakes. That’s okay. I don’t want them to grow up in an atmosphere of fear- scared to make a mistake. I don’t parent out of fear. None of that pleases the Lord.

Yes, it might good that my children would sing in the church choir, help lead the Sunday School class, and score highly in their Bible study curriculum test. But that alone does not mean that their hearts are serving the Lord.

I can sacrifice my career to stay at home and teach my children, cook from scratch and sew all my own clothes yet my heart can still be far from what the Lord desires.

Good works aren’t bad. But by themselves they are just religion. Religion is simply ‘man trying to work their way to earn God’s favour’. God isn’t interested in religion. He’s after relationship! He desires us to simply trust and obey Him more so than running around trying to prove our worth or earn His favour.

Proverbs 21:3
To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.
NIV

To do justice and judgment is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.
King James Version

To do righteousness and justice
Is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.
New KJV

Doing what is righteous and just
is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.
Holman Christian Standard

To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.
Amplified

Clean living before God and justice with our neighbors
mean far more to God than religious performance.
The Message

Father God would have you live right, to spend time with Him, to think of others, rather than running around working hard, trying to impress, by working for Him.
Susan’s paraphrase.

Again, some might say this is heretical of me to do but it’s real life- it’s allowing the word to penetrate my heart and my life. It’s then how I speak with my family. Speaking biblical principles in an everyday way that we each relate to. Speaking

What about you? Do you encourage yourself in the word this way? Or any other ways? How would you paraphrase this proverb? Go on, have a go – leave a comment and link to your post so other’s can see it and be encouraged. 🙂

Confession: My Ducks Are Not In A Row

True confession.

I do not have all my ducks in a row. Not in any area of my life. Surprised?

I’ve been told that I can sound like I have it all together…and then people meet me in real life and come to see reality.

My ducks aren’t in a row when it comes to my personal life, family life, computer life, meal planning, health, fitness, housework, parenting, homeschool life nor my theology. I simply don’t have concrete thoughts or actions on it all. I might sound it, but I don’t. There have been times in my life when I mistakenly thought I had my ducks in a row in a particular area, like homeschooling. But then something will change and I’ll realise that I never did have it all under control…or maybe I did for that time, that season, that place. But life circumstances change. Right? Surely, at the very least, I would have my theology ducks all lined up in a nice, neat row eh? Ah! wrong again! Just when I thought I did- something happens and slowly I’ve come to see that I don’t even have a handle on that. (Yes yes, I can hear some of you giggling right now).

Would you believe that there was a time that I was firmly convinced that not all children who die would go to heaven? It just didn’t mesh with my theology. And then I had a child… I became a parent. My perspective changed. My circumstance changed. I was able to learn something through my experience. I learned something about the nature of God – God the Father. My understanding of God as Father changed, thus my theology ducks changed. Did God change? Of course not, but I did.

I used to silently believe that there were certain things that my children would never do. I would look at other children/youth and think that my children would be different. I would parent them so as not to harvest ‘that’ fruit. And then I became a parent. Then my children grew and started going through puberty. Then my perspective changed.

I had many dreams or ideals. They weren’t wrong or silly, but my dreams didn’t allow for deviation, therefore I often found my inner self struggling to accept things that were often outside of my control. Maybe I dreamed or aimed too high but I don’t think so. I just need to have the Father’s heart in it all – I need a godly perspective in it all.

Over the last few years, I’ve had to realise and accept that I can tend to be a control freak…and when it hasn’t gone my way I can get myself into a real head mess. It ain’t pretty. But it happens because I let my dreams and ideals take a place in my life that they shouldn’t have. I was still looking at all the outward stuff – I’d created images of what I thought was good, pure, noble, worthy, family, relationships, etc. A good homeschool student, a good homeschool mum, a good, Christian wife, a good Christian family, etc. I was looking to others and to images that I’d built up or created in my own mind. I saw these images as good – having all my ducks in a row. While it was a dream, it was a good dream but rarely reality.

Many times over the last few years, life has felt like this!

Looking back over the last 2 years I would have to say that my life theme was “I don’t have all my ducks in a row”. You know what? I don’t plan a theme- I usually discern it at the end of the year but I can’t help but feel that it will be the repeated theme for me this year. But that’s life! I can’t control everything, regardless of how much I try. I will make mistakes. I will learn new things. I will pick myself back up and try again. That’s life. And I praise God for every breathe that He gives to me.

Conformed or transformed? (P3)

Conformed or Transformed~ Part 1-3

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

“Transformation” is different in that it is a process…an outward expression that does come from within! Did you know that the Greek word underlying the word transformed is the verb, ‘metaorphoo’. Yup, from that we get the English words ‘metamorphose and metamorphosis.’ The word of God, the Living Christ transforms us from the inside out. (James 1:21,22).

So how can I be transformed instead of conforming?

1) Come before the Lord daily. No, not for a 7 minute devotional or a 30 minute prayer session but with a wholehearted, dying-to-self prayer…and all day attitude. It means giving over everything, even homeschooling. (Homeschooling used to be so all consuming for me- all my time and energy went into learning about new ways, new books, talking about it) For some it is a job, career, spouse, house, university, sport, methodology, church, ministry…but we all struggle, just with different things. Wherever our thoughts, time, energy is, that is where our heart is. We can set our mind upon Christ…yes, for awhile it may need to be a conscious decision but we can turn our eyes upon Jesus.

2) Make a conscious to not conform. Who do you think is watching you? The homeschool police? The Charlotte Mason Police? The church pastor? Your boss? Who am I aiming to please? The other ladies at homeschool group? Who am I trying to impress? Oh, our hearts need to turn back to the Lord in thought, word and deed. It is only then that we can find true freedom, abundance and joy in every area of our lives.

3) Be transformed! By dying to self…by not conforming…by sitting at the feet of Jesus daily…by saturating ourselves more in God’s word than any other book/movie is the way to have our minds renewed and our lives transformed.

Our Father God will give us direction, forgiveness, transformation, a new mind, a purpose, His rest if we turn to Him- yield everything (our desires, dreams, ambitions, etc) to Him.

The wonderful thing about God’s grace is that we don’t have to wait until a Monday or a New Year or a new month. We don’t even have to wait until tomorrow.

It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
(English Standard Version)

Posts in the ‘Conformed or Transformed’ series

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
To read posts in other series, click here.

Conformed or transformed (P2)

Conformed or Transformed~ Part 1-3

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

“Conformed’ means to assume an outward expression that does not come from within. It is basically to masquerade, to put on a mask. If we are doing ’something’ for Christ then it is possible it is an act of conformity.

I often write that I went through a time of bondage – in regard to homeschooling. In fact, while the bondage manifested itself through my homeschooling life, it was in fact a spiritual matter…isn’t that usually the case?

I found myself being convinced of many things…things that sounded so good and worthy. I wanted them for my life, for my family. But in fact, I was conforming to the world…even though in this instance it was conforming to an ideology – the Christian homeschool community. I spent hours on forums (blogs weren’t around then) reading about how others lived and what they did…and I wanted it too!

I failed to see any contradiction when it came to this conforming issue. As a Christian I didn’t recognise this conforming struggle…I was blinded by well meaning, articulate arguments instead of being renewed in my mind. I was trying to conform, not to the ‘non-believing word’ but the Christian homeschool world – which is still not Christ! So with that in mind I’ll list some of the things that I struggled with – in my process of trying to conform to the “Christian homeschool community”

Wearing dresses only – long, plain dresses so as not to draw too much attention to myself.
Going without makeup and jewelry, although I did continue to shave my legs.
Dressing my girls in similar attire.
Being impractical with our lifestyle: Hey! We really do like SciFi and white bread!
Watching only tv shows or movies that other Christian homeschoolers approved of!
Training the children to outward obedience.

The list goes on…

Conformity is outward based. It is rules based. Don’t touch. Don’t associate. Don’t eat. Don’t taste. Be in fear. Make rules, guidelines, policies, ways based on that fear. (Col 2:20-23)

Another problem is that conformity isn’t In-Your-Face-Obvious. It is subtle. I can feel good, maybe even just a little righteous…I can feel that my life is pleasing to God…that my stances and actions are pleasing to Him. In fact, I could really enjoy this nice, clean, noble, higher life. But it doesn’t mean that the Lord is pleased. I’ve had to ask myself. Is God pleased with me? If so, WHY is He pleased? (In other words, is any righteousness or pleasing my doing or that of Christ?) What have I done that pleases Him? If the answers to these questions don’t line up with the same theology of grace that I read in His word, then something is wrong!

Often all the rules that we build our lifestyle around are based on outward attributes – dress, behaviour, food, manners, etc. In the Colossians verse, Paul says these things are the commandments of men. Let us not be fooled into thinking that our man made rules will please God. Our good, clean life…our living according to the rules is flesh based. It is not grace based and it does not please God. (See Romans 8:8)

I had to look at my heart. Assess my motives. Ask God to reveal the depths of my heart to me, for in my flesh I can be quick to deny my sin. However, God heard the cry of my heart…He knows that my desire is for Him…He was faithful. Through revealing my sin (of pride, comparison, conformity) He has shown me more of Himself…of His total grace and He is now doing a transforming work in my heart and my life. I haven’t lost anything by giving up or by dying to self – but I gained an immeasurable wealth. Go on, I urge you to also, it’s worth it.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
(English Standard Version)

Conformed or Transformed~ Part 1-3

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Conformed or transformed? (P1)

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him.
Romans 12: 1-3

Many people pull their children out of school and begin to homeschool and they cite Romans 12:2 as a favourite scripture. Oh, I don’t have a problem with that per se, but have you ever noticed how we can soon start to conform to a whole nother system or set of rules – the Christian homeschool way of doing things?

You know what I mean, come on admit it. You might visit a forum and realise that no one there fesses up to watching science fiction and you don’t want to be the one to open your mouth and dump your family in it. Or a slightly different angle might be that you doggedly get out of bed at 5.30am every day to do devotions before the children awake and you believe that this is the key to being a successful Christian homeschool mum? Maybe if everyone else did this, they wouldn’t have their problems eh? 😉

Ah…God wants so much more than that for us! Just as he doesn’t want us to conform to the world, He doesn’t want us to conform to a system, a set of activities or walking by the rules. He does want us to be transformed…

What’s the difference?

“Conformed’ means to assume an outward expression that does not come from within. It is basically to masquerade, to put on a mask. If we are doing ‘something’ for Christ then it is possible it is an act of conformity.

“Transformation” is different in that it is a process…an outward expression that does come from within! Did you know that the Greek word underlying the word transformed is the verb, ‘metaorphoo’. Yup, from that we get the English words ‘metamorphose and metamorphosis.’ The word of God, the Living Christ transforms us from the inside out. (James 1:21,22).

So what do we need to do? Surely we need to do something?

All we need to do is to soak in, breathe in, be immersed in the Word of God. The word will renew our minds and transform us, from the inside out!

When we stop trying to conform and instead yield ourselves to Christ, He expresses Himself through our daily lives. This is the metamorphic process – this is a truly radical transformation. Once we experience this ongoing transformation in our lives, why would we want to substitute our freedom in Christ to become bound or try and conform to another system, method or way of doing things? God wants so much more than that!

You think the learning-at-home journey is radical? It is nothing compared to being transformed by the renewing of our mind, according to His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
(English Standard Version)

Conformed or Transformed~ Part 1-3

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Superstitious mumbo-jumbo or Bible Literacy

I’m off again on another rant. It’s in relation to a newspaper article which you can find here.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24753674-1248,00.html

A QUEENSLAND father of five has taken action in the Anti-Discrimination Commission after his four-year-old daughter was asked to help make a replica of Noah’s Ark at the local state school.

R** W********, who has five children under the age of 10, is opposed to religious instruction in state schools.

He said he was taking action because he did not believe students should be “exposed to superstitious mumbo-jumbo, presented as fact, in an educational setting”, The Australian reports.

The Bible Literacy report
Can be found in its entirety here: http://tinyurl.com/6xovm4

Almost without exception, English professors we surveyed at major American colleges and universities see knowledge of the Bible as a deeply important part of a good education.

For example, when asked to respond to the question, “Regardless of a person’s faith, an educated person needs to know about the Bible,” no professor disagreed; nine provided additional explanation. When asked, “Some scholars say Western literature is steeped in references to the Bible. How would you respond to that?” 38 of 39 English professors agreed; 24 strongly. When asked, “In your opinion, how important is it for students who take your courses to be familiar with the Bible?” 38 of 39 professors said it was important.

Overwhelmingly, professors in this survey indicated that a lack of basic Bible literacy hampers students’ ability to understand both classics and contemporary work. Arduously “decoding” scripture references detracts from absorbing and responding to great works of art, both ancient and modern. At the same time, a number of professors expressed discomfort or reservations with appearing to “take sides” in favor of the Bible in the contemporary context.

They did not wish to associate themselves with a political movement around the Bible, or to seem to detract from the importance of other aspects of a good education, including the value of becoming knowledgeable about other world religions.

This report concludes that high schools should make basic Bible knowledge part of their curriculum, especially for college preparatory students. Doing so requires developing a variety of educational materials and curricula that simultaneously:

(a) acknowledge the Bible’s status as sacred scripture to millions of Americans,
(b) are fair to students of all faith traditions, and
(c) are of high academic quality.

Doing so will be an important part of meeting the next generation’s educational needs in an increasingly diverse population.

The King James version of the Bible has been of major impact in the development of the English language. In terms of the English language, it ranks up there with Shakespeare and the Oxford English Dictionary. It is a rich, literary source which still has cultural meaning today. Many people are probably not even aware of how many common phrases used daily originate from the Bible. If a parent values education, then surely a stance such is akin to their child being led like a ‘lamb to the slaughter‘.(Or another reference) It is my hope that the ‘powers that be‘ will encourage Biblical Literacy in our school thus enabling future generations to go from ‘strength to strength‘.

Self harm? Don't Be Ignorant

Today’s blog post isn’t something pleasant, but it is something that I want to write about…to encourage other parents to be aware of. Self harm, self injury, mutilation, call it what you will.

Teens devise elaborate self-harm
SOME troubled teens are embedding nails, paper clips, bits of rock, glass and even crayons in their bodies as a way to cope with disturbing thoughts and feelings, US researchers say.
Taken from news.com.au

All forms of self harm are shocking. Did you know that there are many forms of self harm? Did you know that even *good kids* can wind up practicing self harm and self mutilation? Just because you are a Christian who homeschools don’t be fooled into thinking that your child could or would never do something like that.

Who self harms

According to some research, girls are seven times more likely to self harm than boys. The behaviour usually starts in adolescence but is also known amongst younger children.

In my experience, self harm can start very young. It doesn’t always look the same but the attitudes, the pain, the inability to deal with guilt, the anger is still present. I’ve known of a child who cannot/will not be smacked by his parents. They say it is because “he is such a sensitive child…” and they went on to tell me that every time he starts to get into trouble or be corrected, he would throw himself onto the floor and bang his head on the floor, thus preventing him from being disciplined by his parents!!! Strangely enough, the mother of said child often has exhibited self harm behaviour. When this person is upset or angry, she will hit her head against a wall repeatedly. This is a grown woman! So, I would say that self harm is something that can start to manifest in young children because it can be an inability to deal with pain, hurt, anger, frustration, etc.

As parents what can we do?

Become informed. Learn to recognise possible warning signs. There is a lot of information available on the Internet, but please exercise caution. There is a lot of pop psychology out there and secular worldviews pervade the ‘behaviour of teens’ industry so please line everything you read up against the word of God.

Observe our children. When they make a mistake, how do they react, cope? How do they deal with being corrected?

We need to teach our children correct Biblical views about guilt, forgiveness, (atonement for sin) shame. Teach them how to deal with and/or express their anger. Teach them/lead them to the Cross for the forgiveness of their sins. Teach them Scripture. Teach them who they are in Christ and what He has done for us. But more importantly, we need to model these things. They will be watching us and learning how we deal with anger and guilt.

Resources:

See my disclaimer policy

The Presbyterian Church in Ireland has a download which is a good starting point.

Self-Injury.org Is an anonymously edited series of pages written by a former female self harmer from a Christian perspective. It gives a comprehensive list of Bible verses which relate to the subject. The author helpfully reviews other resources which have been published and writes personally about her own story.

Secret Shame (self-injury information and resources) This site covers many areas, such as why someone would injure him or herself, information for family and friends, and ways that a self-injurer can help him or herself. It is well documented and contains information from people who injure themselves as well as from books about the subject and other resources.

Christians in Recovery — A Christian recovery ministry containing both Christian and secular information about recovering from abuse, depression, addictions, etc.

But we’re a Christian family!

Yes, even Christians can self harm! Even Christian children can self harm. Hiding away, denying it, trying to avoid the shame and humiliation from other Christians is not going to help the problem…it simply reinforces to the child that denial of sin is the way to deal with it. So, ask for prayer…see your pastor but don’t live with it alone or trying to pretend it can’t be happening.

In His Grace,

Delighting in our children

I’ve been chewing over a thought. It keeps coming back to me every day. I can’t shake the thought even if I wanted to. So I’ll write about it. I don’t expect that I’ll be all that coherent as writing is usually the way I process my thoughts and it takes me a few goes at saying something before it starts to make sense to anyone else other than myself…so read along if you dare…but if you do, please leave your thoughts. I’d love to hear them!

Friends of mine (IRL and online) will know that I have often talked about parenting our children as God parents us. God is The Ultimate Parent…we do well to model our parenting methods after Him.

I’ve often hear and have used the phrase ‘ pleasing unto the Lord’ or that which ‘pleases God’. I try to live by it…knowing that of myself I cannot earn God’s favour, but to do those things which please Him, not to earn salvation but because His love, His grace compels me to do those things which please Him. For those readers who might be thinking that I’m steering toward a ‘works based’ mentality- I’m not. Not at all…I’m still very much aware of Isaiah 64:6

One of my children struggles with the sin of perfectionism. This leads to much frustration on their part (and ours). This child grumps and humphs in frustration or anger or impatience…and I’ve realised that I do not like being around them when they choose to display that behaviour! Their behaviour doesn’t give me pleasure…I don’t take delight in being with them at that time.

I’m not a parent who takes joy in only singing hymns, nor do we have special ‘approved’ activities which sit well with my moral compass and make me happy. For me, there are no activities that are more spiritual than others. One child plays softball with her whole heart, as unto the Lord. She works at every aspect of it and has experienced a lot of growth through the sport. For her, playing softball is an act of worship (her words). She plays like she was born to play softball. I LOVE watching her play. I get great delight in watching her play.

My son has recently started at Cadets. He practices his drill daily. He researches. He talks with his younger brother about it. He takes part in all the activities with gusto. He enjoys it. I LOVE watching him ‘do his thing’. I take pleasure in watching him do his Cadets thing.

Worship is an attitude, an act, a thought.

It isn’t something we just ‘put on’, it is a lifestyle. Worship isn’t just lighting candles, jumping up and down, singing or kneeling although all those things can be an act of worship. I’ve been learning how worship is all this – not just a prescribed set of actions.

Knowing that God is The Ultimate Parent, I’ll venture on…I’m trying to find a point here somewhere.

If I take pleasure watching my child partake in an activity with their whole heart (as unto the Lord), and they are enjoying themselves and have a good attitude, does God take pleasure in watching me as I go about my daily activities with joy? As much as I don’t take great pleasure in being with a child who is choosing to stomp around, maybe it doesn’t give God pleasure when I’m stomping around or thinking negatively or nastily. Can I do these things? Yup! (Does my freedom that allows me to do them make it beneficial or right?) Does it give God pleasure? Does He delight in seeing me act that way?

So what does God delight in?

And how does this affect my parenting- the way I interact with my children? I’m not talking about living a just, honest life and all those good things. As a parent I want to see my children living according to biblical guidelines but that isn’t what I’m trying to get at. My children each have unique interests and different abilities. I love to watch them as they discover those abilities and even more as they learn to grow and mature those abilities. It’s not just a ‘fun’ type of pleasure, it’s a deeper type of joyous, satisfying delight. To see them live out those interests with their unique abilities, seeking only to glorify the father gives me pleasure. I don’t see playing an instrument in church any more ‘spiritual’ than playing softball or painting. The activity itself isn’t the major point, it’s the heart attitude. (Obviously this is not a theological essay so I’m sure you’ll bear with my inconsistent thoughts).

As I’ve watched one of my children, trying to run away from God, I am learning a lot about the fatherly nature of God. On the other hand, as I’ve watched another child I and also learning a lot about his nature. This child has given their whole life to the Lord, to be in His service. They discovered an ability, they grow and mature that ability, all the while giving glory to God. During all this, their heart is turned toward their father and I. We know this child and have a good relationship with them. We cry with them and we laugh with them. We share in their ups and downs. They desire to do that which pleases us, as we are the child’s parents. We know that they respect, honour and love us. When this child embraces their ability and participates in it, it feels natural…we love to watch and be a part of it. It doesn’t give us any more pleasure than an activity that is more ‘socially acceptable’ as a form of worship. Yet this is worship- real life, total worship of the Creator, The Father, God.

What do I delight in seeing in my children?

A heart that will ‘toe the line’ with following our guidelines… A heart that doesn’t *delight* in our relationship or a relationship with my child that allows them to make mistakes…knowing that they desire to please me out of love, gratitude and relationship not in order to ‘look good’ or appearing to be obedient or trying to win my approval?

I don’t mind when my children make mistakes, if their heart is filled with love and is turned toward me. A mistake is a mistake. But there are some children who want to live life all their own way – not in relationship – living purely by the rules – nothing more, nothing less. This type of obedience fills me with sorrow as they are missing out on so much – relationship. I love my children. I want to have a deep, real, honest relationship with each one of them…I haven’t stopped loving them. I haven’t set my face to turn against them. I have forgiven. I haven’t moved away. But they don’t always want that. They sometimes want to walk their own road by themselves, regardless of what it may bring.:::: sigh ::::

Is God like that with me, I wonder?

Does He delight in me, does He smile, when watching me partaking in activities and using the gifts that He has given me? I have a relationship with Him…my heart and life is His.

Our view of God will affect the way we parent our children.

So, if we want to do a good job of parenting then we need to know what it is to be a child. We need to know who the Ultimate Parent is.

I’m not trying to put the cart before the horse, nor am I getting into heresy. I’m simply seeing another side to my relationship with the Father – how a father delights in His children. Here we have what pleases the Lord: Psalm 147:10-11

His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man;
but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love.

Delight.

What a word…delight. Jesus is a delight to the Father. He delighted in His Son. Through being born again, we have been adopted into God’s family and we are His sons and daughters. He delights in you. He delights in me.

Again, I’m not trying to compare my parenting practices to God. I learn more about the nature of God through being a parent. I’m sure some will have issues with this post but I hope you will hear my heart and not just my words. I know this post doesn’t have all its theological ducks in a row but I do hope and pray that you can read the ethos of it.

Supporting Homegrown Services

Its the time of year when many people are busy planning for next year’s homeschooling curriculum and schedule. Many mums are in full swing; pens, notebooks, catalogs, book lists and the like. It can be such fun!

This year, many parents will receive a government bonus (the ‘Rudd money’ – with the express purpose of trying to prevent an economic recession) in early December. The point of my post isn’t to rave about whether or not homeschoolers should take it or not. Rather, I’d like to share a few things written, as only I can, from my own perspective as a former small business owner who aimed to serve the Australian homeschooling community. I’d also like to encourage all Australian to ‘buy Australian’ as much as possible. What good will it do our nation to spend up big on foreign imports – so the money goes back out of our land. How does that really prevent a recession?

Anyway, on to my story. I used to own a small home-based book/curriculum business, called HomeGrownKids. (Who woulda thunk it?) I used to supply books, curriculum and resources that I had used – that I knew a fair bit about…that I could easily talk about with other homeschoolers. I could suggest a variety of resources in case one or the other wasn’t suitable. During this early time, the Australian dollar was at the absolute lowest point in years. The Internet wasn’t all that popular or widespread back then although it was growing. I remember what it was like to meet with another homeschooler and covet some of their homeschool encouragement type books, for they weren’t easy to obtain and were far and few between. No online shopping carts back then! Most homeschoolers were content to order a book and then wait for 3 months while it was shipped over on the boat. Yes, it took a long time but there weren’t too many other viable options. Plus, we learned patience…and learned about interacting with our children rather than just relying upon curriculum. But then, online shopping became easier. More and more businesses started accepting online credit card payments. Whoohoo! It wasn’t long before some customers wanted a resource in a hurry. So I’d order in via air mail. This would cut any profit, for the cost of airmail was crippling…but it was a service that I was providing to my friends- other Aussie homeschoolers.

I would spend hours researching curricula and books…hours on the phone talking to other homeschool mums, offering encouragement, support or ideas. HGK was nowhere near the point of making any money. In fact, it was draining our own pocket! However, we thought that if we could stick with it long enough it would become a valuable service to Aussie homeschoolers.

However, it wasn’t long before I started to notice a disturbing trend. Well, I thought it was disturbing – not sure if everyone agreed with me. I started receiving a few phone calls where people would talk to me about curricula, asking for my opinion. Sometimes this phone call might take me away from the family dinner table or afternoon lessons. These calls rarely took a brief 15 minutes – more like hours! After talking and sharing and then giving the price of the requested books, some people thanked me and hung up. They later went online and ordered those very books from book suppliers in the US!!! Yes, it was a little cheaper ( not that much really) but I still thought it was quite rude. I had done the legwork, the research, the homework. I had talked with the people about the best curriculum to suit their needs and they bought it for a few dollars cheaper!

After awhile I just couldn’t compete. Not that I was trying to per se, but I was give, give, giving of time for people to source a few dollars cheaper elsewhere out of Australia. Some did shop within Australia. They found that A & R or Dymocks were cheaper by a couple of dollars. Sure! But could the bookseller talk about that book from their own experience? Had they used it with several children? I don’t think so. To make HGK prices the same as Dymocks meant that the books cost our family money!! No one can operate like that. Who can compete with Amazon, Book Depository, CBD and all the other giants, especially when our dollar was so low? Unlike the super-stores, HGK couldn’t receive cheaper items because of large orders. We had to pay shipping fees from the US…and then postage fees to the customer. Nowadays there is even GST to add to the mix! Over the Christmas break, my husband and I made the hard but necessary decision to close HomeGrownKids down. The reasons listed above are certainly not the only reasons but they were a contributing factor.

So not only do I love Aussie made products…I love to support local businesses – even if it costs a few dollars more. When I email or call Adnil Press, Chariot Press, Homeschool Heaven, DownUnder Literature, Always Learning Books, Credo Trust or Homeschool Favourites we have a good natter on the phone…we share many things in common…but I know that they aim to scratch my back, so I want to do the same for them. with all the time, effort and money that goes into a local homeschool business (effectively supporting *me*) then surely a few dollars extra won’t break the bank. Can you buy cheaper overseas? Yes! But will you, knowing how much it costs our local Aussie homeschool businesses? (Visit here for more info on Aussie homeschool suppliers)

There are some products I simply can’t source locally, so I look to the Book Depository or other Christian homeschool suppliers- usually only once I’ve exhausted all the locals. Sometimes, I’ll purchase from these larger international stores if it means a large saving…but I always ask myself, “how much is their time/advice/expertise/knowledge worth?”

How about it? Do you think it’s worth buying from a local supplier? Is it worth supporting another homeschool family business- one that exists to serve you? Or will you still purchase from overseas?

How do you feel about Christmas? (guest post)

Today’s post is by guest blogger, Robin Sampson from Heart of Wisdom. Robin has a particular focus on the Hebraic roots of Christianity.

How do you feel about Christmas?

Do you observe it differently now compared to how you observed it when you were a child? Do you observe it at all? Did you know Christmas has pagan roots? Does that bother you?

Don’t get nervous. I’m not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing this time of year. I can’t because I don’t have it all sorted out myself.

Since the beginning of the Church, there has been controversy over pagan customs. On one side were those who wanted to ‘christianise’ the customs to win over the heathen and on the other side were those who rejected anything to do with paganism.

Some Christians observe Christmas as they always have with family traditions, Santa, etc. but with a focus on the Savior’s birth. Some avoid the Santa scene, try not to get wrapped up in materialism (pardon the pun) and focus on Christ.

Some have completely given up Christmas because of the pagan roots, or because the Puritans didn’t observe it, or the materialism, etc. Those that have given up Christmas usually face a lot of flack from friends and family.

Our Christmas Evolution

Our Christmas in the Sixties

As a child we did what everyone else did in the 60’s. Full blown Santa is coming, tinsel-decorated tree, with a big-time focus on presents. We didn’t leave out Jesus but He wasn’t the focus. My mother would read the Christmas story in front of the nativity scene on Christmas Eve. Jesus got about 15 minutes of the holidays rush.

Our Christmas in the Seventies

When my first children were toddlers (over 30 years ago) we had a birthday cake for Jesus each year. Our traditional centerpiece was a Santa kneeling over the Baby Jesus in the manger. I also took my children to have their photo taken with Santa. Santa even came to our church to pass out presents.

Our Christmas in the Eighties

By the time my oldest children were school age we dumped all Santa décor and focused on Christ. (We also stopped all Easter bunny traditions that year). We made Chrismoms (symbols of Christ) for the tree out of white and gold felt and sequins and hung them every year as we read Scripture verses for the symbol (door, crown, sheep, bread, etc). We sent out “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” Christmas cards. I remember my mother was disappointed we didn’t accept Santa and reindeer presents. The tree and stockings were still a family tradition.

Our Christmas in the Early Nineties

About 15 years ago I learned about the Bible holidays and the pagan roots of Christmas and Easter. I wanted to give up Christmas and Easter. My children were horrified. All those holiday memories! Mom has lost her mind!

We went back and forth on the topic for a few years. I wanted to at least get rid of the tree (based on Jeremiah 10:1-5). We finally made the decision not to have Christmas. It was hard. My Grandmother was crushed. (The shocked reactions from telling family and friends of homeschool and homebirth decisions pale compared to reactions we got from giving up Christmas.)

When a Christian is raised to believe that devoted family traditions bring glory to God, then finds out about pagan history and God’s ways, it’s quite a blow. God’s ways should have been taught since childhood and are now being learned in adulthood. My motives were pure. I only wanted to do what I believed God wanted us to do.

Our Christmas from Late Nineties until Now

Ten years ago we went back to celebrating Christmas. I remarried and my new husband did not want to give up Christmas (mainly because it is the only time his family gathers). I still don’t feel at peace with this decision but it is really not my call. So I make the best of it and focus on Christ. I feel God can use all things for His good.

I want to Celebrate the Birth of Christ!

I have no problem that celebrating Jesus’ birthday wasn’t commanded by God. Purim wasn’t commanded by God, but suggested by the Hebrews as an observance to remember a miracle of God. I want to celebrate the birth of Christ as a miracle of God. The most wonderful miracle of all! I would just prefer not to merge the celebration with a pagan festival. It’s a compromise I don’t feel good about.

12 Things I like About Christmas

1. Focus on Christ
2. Families getting together (for some, the only time of the year)
3. Church programs (giving to the needy, the elderly, plays, songs, etc., focusing on Christ)
4. Nativity scenes
5. Generosity
6. Caroling
7. The music (especially Handel’s Messiah)
8. The lights
9. Baking
10. Homemade gifts and cards (especially from children)
11. Goodies (fudge, cookies, nougat, and peppermint–yum)
12. Creativity (crafts, gingerbread houses, decorations, Chrismoms, etc.)

12 Things I don’t like about Christmas

1. Lack of focus on Christ
2. Pagan roots
3. Lonely people feeling lonelier
4. Christians disagreeing
5. Greed (coveting)
6. Materialism
7. Shopping, shopping and more shopping
8. Debt
9. Family stress
10. The good are rewarded philosophy that spills over in “saved by works” mentality
11. Santa worship (idolatry)
12. Political War on Christmas

God Wants us to Have Holidays (Holy Days)

God created us with a desire to have celebrations. He gave us instructions for observing seven holidays listed in Lev 23. The holidays contain more divine information of spiritual and prophetic value than any subject of scripture. Why aren’t we taught these marvelous lessons in church? The answer is found during the first through the fourth centuries.

Read What Happened to the Holidays for more information. I give you the link with a warning. Once you learn about God’s Holidays (they are God’s holidays not Jewish holidays) you will face controversies.

How does God feel about us ignoring the holidays He gave us and replacing them with other days? I’ll answer in a parable and let you decide.

A Parable

Once upon a time there was a little boy who loved his Father very much. His Father asked the boy to prepare and serve a special dinner on a particular day. The Father wrote out all the specific instructions clearly and departed for awhile expecting these instructions to be executed.

While the Father was gone the boy shared the instructions with a family friend. The family friend said, “I have a better idea. We had a party that was much more fun, let me tell you about it.” We tell mythical stories, dress up in furry costumes and make beautiful decorations and have tasty treats. The friend gave all the details and suggested they change the dinner date to another day. The boy decided the party would be more fun than the dinner and felt his father would understand. The boy undertook the friend’s party plan.

Was the Father disappointed?

The Father loved his precious son but was probably disappointed in his disobedience. To what degree would depend on two facts. 1. the age or maturity of the boy and 2. the motivation of the boy.

God Looks on the Heart

Yes, I do believe the pagan holidays are offensive to God. I also believe He is merciful. . . God looks on the heart and views our motives.

“Man looks to the outward appearance but God looks to the heart.”

The Reason for the Season

The attention of the whole world is called to acknowledge the birth of the Savior at this time of year, even if they don’t believe. Let us be careful not to get our focus off of what is important. If our desire is to celebrate or not to celebrate the birth of Jesus at this time of the year, then let that be done according to the purity of the heart and with integrity of conviction without judgment toward others.

God looks at the heart. Jesus taught against condemning one another—He taught the most important things: 1. Love God. 2. Love others. This should be our focus. Too many are condemning others on either side.

Christmas is a merging of pagan and Christian religions—it is a fact. The ultimate would be to abandon all forms of pagan worship and teach our children the ancient paths—only God’s pure worship. Then our children won’t be faced with this holiday dilemma each year.

How do we get there from here? I think it’s going to take time. Josiah changed things (2 Ch 34:3-8). He got rid of the paganism that crept in—but over a period of time. If we commit to seeking God through His Word and teach our children His Word, we will grow spiritually and God will reveal His paths.

A Season of Peace?

With so much controversy how does one have peace? Isaiah 26:3 says that if we keep our mind stayed (focused) upon God we will have perfect peace. Perfect peace was put in this verse when it actually says Shalom, Shalom.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Let not your heart be troubled: John 14:1a

Bring peace to this season by focusing on Christ. Then celebrate Jesus in every season by loving one another.

Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to all whom God favors. (Luke 2:14).

Of further interest:

“Should We Celebrate Christmas?” – online booklet
We Should Not Celebrate Christmas – a blog entry with several Links (pro and con)

Walking By Grace

Some of my readers may remember my where I talked about having a child who is trying to run away from the reality of God. I have shared how heart breaking this is. While it is still hard and every day brings its own challenges I would like to share some of the wonderful lessons I’m learning throughout it all.

I love to proclaim God’s grace- oh, that He should save a wretch like me and pour out His mercy, love and forgiveness upon me…me who is so undeserving. I am so aware that there is nothing I can do to earn God’s favour or His love. In fact, any of my attempts at being righteous are just as filthy rags. They are contrary to the good news of the work of the Cross. Early on in my conversion God revealed His grace. Grace is the middle name of one of my daughter’s. Grace is almost indescribable; too extraordinary. But I am thankful for His grace. I’m also thankful that while I am going through such daily heartbreak with one of my children, He has shown me more of Himself…more of what it means to live *in grace* and live *by grace*.

Every day I experience what it means to ‘live by the law’ or live by rules. Alternately, every day I also experience what it means to live in fullness of grace. How can this be? Oh, anyone who has lived with an unsaved person will probably know what I mean.

In an earlier post, I touched upon living by certain acceptable rules. You know, conduct becoming of good Christian homeschooling families. 😉 There seems to be certain codes of what is acceptable or not amongst homeschoolers. There is good behaviour and not-good behaviour. There are good activities and not-good activities.

I’ve been reassessing why I do what I do and why I don’t do certain things. Is my lifestyle determined by the rules of my faith? (Or acceptable Christian conduct) Or is my lifestyle determined by my relationship with Jesus Christ?

How about you? Have you stopped doing certain things since beginning to homeschool? Have your reasons been because of rules (being convinced by others) or by relationship with Christ and His transforming power?

Are you convinced or convicted?

Issues, Ideals, Convictions and being Convinced…
originally written in 2000

Married at the tender age of 18, I was blissfully ignorant of domestic duties and all that married life would entail. I loved my husband dearly and I thank God for giving me such a gracious and patient man, with which to spend and share my life with. We have just recently celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary and we tend to get a little sentimental around this time of year. Only the other day John recalled the first meal I ever made him, before we were married – ham, cheese and mustard sandwiches! Well, it really is a testament to God’s greatness that we ended up married as I’m surprised that John went through with it after I nearly burnt his mouth and oesophagus with an over abundance of mustard. He had seen how I kept my bedroom in a complete and utter chaotic mess and had observed how my mother waited on me, hand and foot. How he was not at all worried or apprehensive about life after marriage I will never understand.

On our honeymoon (as a matter of survival) John taught me how to cook 3 min noodles. I already managed toast and hard boiled eggs so we lived on these for some time. After we had moved into a house I worked hard at making it into a real home, a castle for my king ! I taught myself to cook and clean house, largely through trial and error. For instance, I have learned that nylon petticoats do not fare very well if ironed. One by one children started to come along and I would read and research on parenting babies, toddlers and so forth. I have always desired to be a Proverbs 31 woman (or as close as I could possibly be), to love my husband and train my children.

Then some time later we started on this fabulous journey of Home Based Learning. Typical to my nature, I researched and devoured anything I could get my hands on. (Thanks to a good friend for all her time and patience with me during that time) I then came to a point where I was happy and content with the “what and how” of what we were doing.

In my hunger for reading and fellowship with other like minded women I read quite a few periodical magazines and many websites that are designed to encourage and teach women in their calling at home. These magazines are great and a real source of blessing. Nevertheless, there is an issue that I believe the Lord wanted me to see clearly.

I need to continually remember my salvation. My salvation came at a great price to the Father and it is only the Cross that saves. Many issues that I held dear to us are simply that. Issues! Ideals! Yes, they can add fruitfulness to my life, make us healthier, wealthier and wiser but I need to be careful that I keep preaching the Gospel of Christ. I need to see these distinctions clearly and understand the differences. There are so many issues that today’s Christian woman needs to be aware of. I can homeschool our children using the finest Christian material, while my husband runs our own home business. I can sew all the families clothes or shop exclusively at second hand stores. I can bake our own bread and grind our own flour, eat our organically grown fruit and veggies, I can wear non-patterned dresses only and never cut or colour my hair or wear makeup. To wear a head covering or not? We may not watch TV nor attend any function that isn’t termed “Christian”. To celebrate Christmas and Easter? We may listen to “Accapella” singing only, avoiding any music other than classical or ‘spiritual’. We may choose not to use soap or apply any chemical laden substance to our body. Home birth or hospital birth? Where does it end?

These are just some of the issues that I have pondered, questioned and had to speak with my husband about. I’m sure there are more as there is nothing new under the sun. Some of these issues are quite valid and can be of immense benefit to our families . Often times though, when we as wives, have either stumbled across something that has been wonderful for us or that the Lord has led us to, we latch on to that and become so convinced of its merit and excited about it that we want to share it with everyone. Somewhere, somehow, amidst all this, something goes awry!

These things become the measuring stick. Oi voi, this is not good nor right. We stand ourselves up against these things to find out how we are going as a Christian woman. It is no wonder I often feel inadequate and as though I fall short! My dear husband even asked me to stop reading some of the material. The articles and books themselves aren’t bad but that they can be used in ways to take our focus away from the Truth! The Reality! Jesus Christ! Let us only preach the gospel of Christ. I have learned that I need to sit back and allow the Holy Spirit to convict me rather than being convinced of all manner of things that sound noble or righteous. When the Holy Spirit convicts, it is solid and real. The Holy Spirit doesn’t need all manner of sound logic and reasonable persuasion. If you have an ‘issue’ in your life, that is causing you angst or doubt or concern, take it to the Lord. Seek Him, study the Word and trust that in this the Holy Spirit will lead you in all truth.

Home Based Learning, for John and I is a conviction. Not a preference, but a conviction. It is not just another educational alternative but a calling from God. We don’t want to ever convince another family to homeschool but if the Holy Spirit convicts them, then I’d like to offer them encouragement and be there for fellowship. We need to be careful that we don’t spread the “Gospel of Homeschooling” before we spread the Good News of Jesus, which is essential for salvation.

The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you.
John 14:26
The Message

Blogging Addictions? Blogging Balance? (by Robin Sampson)

Today’s post is not my own writing. It is from a dear lady, Robin Sampson. This article was a blog post and you can see it in real time over on her blog. While you’re there, you might like to subscribe to her blog and receive updates of all her new blog posts- it’s worth it!

This morning I read two blogs Susan recommended warning Christian ladies about blogging addictions. Those Sneaky Idols and Blogging: What’s Your Motivation? Both posts made several excellent points.

We can turn anything into sin if it’s out of balance or if we have the wrong motivation. Shoes, make-up, food, TV, sports, pets, etc. can become addictions or idols. Volunteer work at church can become sin when it’s out of balance (before family) or done with the motivation to win approval. Balance and motivation are the keys.

God Created us with a Desire for Relationships

Christianity is about relationships – relationships with God, and relationships with other people. Blogging or reading and commenting on a blog are ways to interact and develop relationships.

In Bible times women interacted daily at the well or gathering animals, etc. They also lived with extended families (grandma, aunts, cousins, etc.). Today’s American women are isolated and crave the company of other women. We don’t go to the community well each morning but we can go on the Internet.

Blogging and leaving comments are great ways we can encourage one another or bear one another’s burdens. There are going to be times when we just don’t have much strength and we need encouragement from others. God tells us,

Think of ways to encourage one another. (Hebrews 10:24)
…build each other up… (1 Thess 5:11)
Bear one another’s burdens. (Gal 6:2)

Encouragement is a special expression of love helping us to focus on God and resist sin! “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews 3:13.

I don’t feel guilty about blogging or commenting when it is in balance. My reasons for blogging are listed at Five Reasons I Blog. I need relationships. God made me that way. However, the first relationship I need is God. If my time is spent anywhere else before I spend time with the Lord, it is out of balance.

What About Blogging Awards?

Blogging awards are a way to tell others about a blog you recommend. No different than telling a friend you know someone she should meet–someone that is like-minded. I found so many special blogs, I created Spiritual Sunday Meme as a place to list encouraging links weekly. (HOW depends on word-of-mouth because we don’t have the funds to advertise.) Blogging awards shouldn’t be motivation but certainly can be an encouragement, just like comments. Again–balance and motivation are keys.

Our Most Important Relationship

We can only encourage others and bear one another’s burdens when our relationship with God is in order. When I fail to take in spiritual nutrition, daily Bread, I walk in my flesh; I am too weak to battle the fiery darts; I am too weak to take every thought captive.

But when I take the time to read God’s powerful Word I get strength and wisdom. It is only through this essential two-way communication—prayer and Bible study—that we build our relationship with God. And only then do we get the strength to walk in His ways, resist temptations, and gain the wisdom to make the right choices that will affect our entire lives (and our children’s and grandchildren’s lives).

Max Anders said,

“It matters to God how we use our time. It is something which He has given us. We don’t own it. We are responsible to manage it for Him. It doesn’t mean we must always work. Part of our time should be used in recreation and rest, the development and enjoyment of relationships. But we must be aware of how we use our time, and use it wisely” (30 Days to Understanding the Bible).

If you are on the Internet to the point that you put aside Bible study, recognize this as a signal, like recognizing hunger pain as a signal to eat, that it is TIME for Bible study and prayer. Time is limited. It is like a handbreadth. Use it well.

“Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.” (1 Corinthians 4:2).

What do you think? Are you a good steward of your time? Is Bible study a priority in your day? Pray about evaluating your schedule and ask God to lead!

Blogging Addiction? Ironic Post

After my last post, I thought I’d do a quick quiz. Guess what? It’s official! I am not as addicted to blogging as I once was. There, I read it on a website so it’s gotta be true eh?

Actually, the only reason I scored 68% is because I know what I’m doing with blogs, not because I blog regularly or frequently. So I use RSS instead of manually checking individual blogs? Doesn’t mean I’m addicted…but it does mean I’m trying to be efficient with my time. So, I represent, resemble, er resent that score of 68%. 😉

68%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

How about you? Are you a blog addict? Here are ten signs that may indicate that you have an addiction.

Bloglines, Google Reader or some other RSS reader is constantly open on your computer’s desktop.
You tell customers/friends that you missed a project deadline because “some things” came up but in reality, you were blogging.
You periodically dream that you are blogging.
You get inspiration for new blog posts at the strangest times – in the spa, on the softball diamond, while reading a book aloud to your children, while showering… you get the picture.
Before blogs, you used to tuck the kids into bed at night. Now you check for unapproved blog comments before heading to bed yourself.
In order for your family to keep up with what’s going on in your life, they have to read your blog. Furthermore, if they want to communicate with you, they have to comment on your blog.
You have actually considered setting up a blog for your pet of which you would post the entries pretending you are your pet (weirdo).
You can’t remember dates for your wedding anniversary, kids birthdays, etc., but you know what your Technorati rank is.
You blog about anything and everything including bad meals, your pets, getting your car stuck in snow, conversations you have in the bathroom, etc.
Keeping a blog is no longer enough but you now have to record your every move on Twitter.

Nah, I’m sure I’m the only one who has experienced those things…none of you gals (generally my reader base are women) would know what I’m talking about eh? 😉

Downfall of Homeschool Blogging

I love blogs! I like blogging! I also love online forums and communities. I believe they have different purposes. I’ve often said that some people need to stop ranting on forums and get themselves a blog! Forums are for sharing ideas, resources, etc whereas I see blogs (within the home-school community) for personal sharing, ranting and raving and expressing one’s own thoughts, being as biased or straight forward as one likes. Your blog is your personal soap-box. Forums are a bit different and much more netiquette is needed.

B U T …

I believe that the blogging explosion has stolen something from community forums.

Think about your early days of homeschooling. Did you belong to an online forum, email group or online community? Did you receive help and support? After having received help and support are you now one who gives support? Have you noticed that as the blogosphere has grown the online community forums have diminished? How do you feel about this? How do you think newbies feel about this? ( I don’t have the answers – feel free to comment)

I love having my online home, where I can decorate as I like, rant and rave…write or not write! But, I will never give up forums…I love the combined effort that online communities offer. I started blogging as I found I was writing the same answers over and over again – it seemed more time efficient to simply put it in one place, but I know that many people prefer a more personal response – they prefer forums. So, I will continue to be a part of online communities – it’s my way of trying to serve others.

Blogging can be addictive.(It has it’s own dangers= the lure of popularity, to come up with ‘new’ information or thoughts, etc) To be a self publisher and see one’s own words in print – wow! Once one starts to post regularly the comments start rolling in…one can gain in popularity, get ranked in the blogging social bookmarking sites. It all looks rather professional really. However, there are dangers that every Christian needs to be aware of. Guard your heart.

Online communities offer something that the blogosphere doesn’t or can’t by its very nature. An online community can offer support, encouragement, information, resources, laughter, fellowship in the one place – from more than one member! Which means one can go on holiday and feel at peace- instead of worrying about the readers wondering when the next blog post will be written.

We’re created to be part of a community…and the blogosphere provides an online community – to an extent. But community forums are where newbies go for help first…

So I ask, why do you blog? Are you blogging for you or with the heart motive of serving other’s. Should the answer to this question change your actions at all?

Worthwhile Pastimes – Discerning the Value in Hobbies

This post was originally a response to a question posted on a forum

On a delightful forum that I visit, another homeschool mum asked about her child’s pastime and questioned if it is worthwhile…should she encourage it, institute rules for it or discourage it. Having used a delight directed, relaxed, identity-directed, Spirit led, Bible-First approach for a few years I wrote in with my 2c worth, which I’ll copy and paste below.

I wonder if many relaxed or delight directed home schoolers face this…it strikes at the nature of homeschooling, doesn’t it? This is an issue that we have faced with at least 2 of our children so far…especially the two children who are the most intense in their personality. But this can be a good thing – as they mature, they can tend to approach all their work and efforts with passion, working hard at it, focusing on it and giving their best.

Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

Rather than try to look at the product of those activities, be it comic books, softball, computers, games or drawing…I’ve tried to focus on The Process. Now I still want it to be enjoyable for them. I don’t want to make it a school lesson and suck all the joy from it but as a Christian who also sees the value of natural learning I want them to live by Christian principles as well.

So I allow them to take after me!!! Eek, now that’s a scary thought! (Truly, the heart and soul of the learning at home lifestyle) I love web design and could easily spend 14 hours a day on my computer, building and designing as well as writing. I enjoy doing many things, which may or may not become productive one day. In fact, I’m quite sure it is productive but that still doesn’t mean that there are no guidelines. There are still chores, errands and duties that I must tend to first.

I also see the academic/spiritual/mental and /or physical nature in the activities I pursue. This helps me to focus on the process, not just the product.

I actually find it easier to parent the child who does have these interests – there is something to ‘work with’. For I can help this child to learn the value of self discipline, diligence, patience, sowing/reaping, etc within and throughout their journey with their ‘obsession’. An ‘obsession’ or interest gives me opportunity to teach many worthwhile life skills. Yahoo!

Teach them of the pitfalls of their interest. If the child is a boy, teach him of your concerns, so he may be educated about it. Teach him that a possible pitfall is that it can be an expensive hobby, addictive, take time away from family (and in the future his wife), contain anti Christian thought and other political/socio propaganda. As you go through each day, walking, sitting, reading, driving, talk to him about it .I tell my children everything – every thought that pops into my head! (Poor kids) I tell them of the possible pitfalls but also of the positives that they can learn throughout it all.

Who knows what skills can be learned throughout this interest? Talk to your husband about it. Who knows where it will lead? Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, what valuable skills can be learned throughout it? Giving our children the freedom to pursue their interests is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

You could try and fit it into lessons- so he can earn credits for it. I have made up a few notebooks for our interests (softball and coffee). These allow the parent to ‘see’ productivity and maybe one day go toward a credit as it can go into their portfolio. How fantastic would this be for an employer- if a prospective employee turned in a huge notebook of his work, relating to his interest even in a vague way? It shows a lot about the person’s character.

My notebooks go into everything from the history, rules, types, skills, political, social, geographical information as well as reading biographies or doing biographical sketches of notable people with that field. I’d just say not to focus too heavily on this part. If you have a funday or a light day in your homeschool, you could ask him to do some work on this project on that day – once a week. Who knows where it will lead?

Lastly, I have taught my children about true education. if I think they are spending too much time on something I may ask them what they are learning or working on. Tehee, this usually gets them thinking- if they can’t think of anything useful, educational or productive then I suggest that maybe they need to devote the morning to something more worthwhile. This is important to me because I don’t just want to teach my children academics at home – I want them to learn about education, so they can truly know what is education and what is ‘busy work’. This is part of a life skill – learning to discern the root thought of an attitude and make a decision whether or not it is worthy to participate in.

Time Management Using Rocks and Sand

I once heard a [homeschool mother] speaker demonstrate this story. It stuck with me and has helped me plan my days, terms and years. I also recalled reading in a book by Stephen Covey. The was called First Things First. I post it here in the hope that it will help others.

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high powered over-achievers, he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.”

Then he pulled out a one gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set on the table in front of him. He then produced about a dozen fist sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is the jar full?” Everyone in the class said, “Yes.”

Then he said, “Really?” He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in, and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered.

“Good!” he replied.

He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar, and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is the jar full?” “No!” the class shouted.

Once again he said, “Good!”

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”

One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things in!” “No,” the speaker replied, “That’s not the point.”

The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.

What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Your children….Your loved ones…Your education… Your dreams…A worthy cause…..Teaching or mentoring others…. Doing things that you love…Time for yourself…. Your health….Your significant other.”

“Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first, or you’ll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you’ll fill your life with little things to worry about that don’t really matter, and you’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).

So, tonight or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the ‘big rocks’ in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.

If you’d like to illustrate this story to your children, you might find this Sunday School lesson helpful.

Teaching Reading: the HomeGrownKids Way

A few days ago I posted about realising and accepting that unschooling is my default mode of parenting. This following post is in response to Katie’s question.

Hi Susan, I really enjoy reading your writings, and are pleased you are continuing to blog. This radical unschooling is something I’d really like to try. I had a 9+ year old boy who is verrry slow to pick up reading. I am trying to do a bit with him every day – he knows all his sounds – phonograms in isolation, but when put into words and sentences – that’s when we have trouble. Do you get your children reading then use an unschooling method, or do you wait until they are ready – which there is no guarantee of an age. Would appreciate your comments on this matter.

Hi Katie,

Thanks for being patient and not expecting my response immediately. That shows strength and graciousness. I am happy to share my experiences but please bear in mind that they are my experiences…I don’t expect that it suits everyone or that our way is the only definitive way to do things. So, with that I will offer my initial thoughts…

Relaaxxx…

I taught my girls using a fairly rigorous phonics program and they learned to read at quite young ages. The have continued to read of fairly high quality and they still love books. Then came my boys. Different story. I tried to teach ‘Master J’ using phonics but he just didn’t get it. We’d try- he wouldn’t get it- I’d put it all on the back-burner for a few months and try again. He still didn’t get it. I thought this boy would never learn how to read, let alone enjoy reading. We weren’t unschoolers at that point- I was constantly striving to be a perfect homeschooler.

I slowly started to see that I had pushed the girls prematurely. Oh it wasn’t all a waste as we had a good time and strengthened our relationship but I wasted many hours of work and stress. It was all around this time that I started to see that my children were able to learn many thing without direct instruction from me…but I had to help by finding out what motivated them.

My Late Reader

I actually stopped trying to teach ‘Master J’ to read when he was about 9 years old. Oh there was part of me that worried…but stressing over it and pushing him was only giving us a sense of frustration and agitation. I figured that if I couldn’t teach him to read in peace and harmony then maybe he’d be better off not learning to read just yet.

While perusing through the second hand shops one day I came across a whole set of books that I thought looked good for boys. Hey, if nothing else I could pass them on to someone else, eh. I came home and put them in my ‘give away’ box (actually I have a few of those boxes) and then I promptly forgot about them. I continued to provide a print-rich, literary environment for the boys but in a very gentle and natural way. We didn’t do reading lessons- I simply read aloud to them. I didn’t require them to read silently but they saw me read during our quiet time in the afternoon. They saw me read street signs and food labels and eventually ‘Master J’ started to see that reading for information and knowledge might be a handy thing!

One day, I saw him walk out of his room with one of those books. I asked him to be careful with it as I wanted to sell it or give it away. He looked a little taken aback at that so I went a little further. I nonchalantly commented that I didn’t think he’d be able to read those books…that they were a bit ‘above‘ his reading level. Well, they were the right words at the right time for, with all the heroics that a young boy can muster, he took that on! He went on to devour the whole series not twice, not three times but several times each book! He learned so much through those books, aside from learning to read. They are a great series that I thoroughly recommend. The author is Willard Price and he wrote ‘The Adventure Series‘.

During this time, I asked him if he wanted to keep the books for himself or if he’d like me to read one aloud. He nearly jumped out of his skin with excitement! I only read the one book aloud but he often shared little tid bits of information with me; information that blew me away and I often expressed my pride and admiration for him to see. This also spurred him on. While I read aloud, ‘Master C’ would grab a spare copy or cuddle next to me and he’d follow the words along as I read. (I believe that teaching reading is an art, not a science) Meanwhile ‘Master C’ was busy learning many road signs and reading labels on Weet-Bix packets and milk!

Reading the Natural Way

I liken reading and many other skills to toilet training! When ‘Miss A’ was little I felt pressure to have her toilet trained. So we worked on it. I tried everything from sitting her on the potty all day; waiting to catch her in the act and then offer praise. Everything from offering lollies, gentle encouragement all the way to not-so-gentle encouragement! It was so tiring and produced a lot of frustration (we won’t even mention the mess!). I eventually stopped trying and thought I’d wait until I saw signs of her being ready. (In hindsight, it was rather a DUH! moment) Well, what do you know…a few months later ‘Miss A’ (who was barely 2 at the time) just decided that she wanted to use the toilet like adults do!!! It wasn’t hard to *teach her* at all- it was all quite natural and stress-less. I just had to watch for signs of readiness, and then seize the moment when I saw them. Hmmm, I think there’s a lesson here that applies to much in parenting. It’s about observing the child and waiting for signs of readiness – waiting till they are developmentally ready. Reading and writing is also a developmental process.

Types of Reading

Over all the years, I have explained to the boys that there are different types of reading: reading for information, skim reading, reading for pleasure, etc. I guess if I had to summarise I would say that the following list contains the things we did:

Surround ourselves with fine literature and good vocabulary (Rich-print environment.)
We read aloud a lot
We buddy read (Parent reads a paragraph. Child reads a paragraph)
Listened to audio books.
I deliberately, but subtly pointed out labels and signs, directions, instructions, etc
We read lots of picture books. Many picture books are of a high literary quality and the artwork is often superb.
I removed all forms of pressure: I stopped expecting or requiring output, rather I focussed on giving input and allowed the literature to do its work.
I observed my children a lot. I watched and was ready to seize the moment.
I tried to play with words via the use of poetry and silly rhymes, tongue twisters, etc. One of my goals is to encourage a love of literary language.

Okay, so where are we now?

‘Master J’ loves to read and he reads very well. He reads a wide variety of books. He reads for pleasure and for information. After quite some time of learning to read (gaining fluency) and practising in a non threatening environment, he is a proficient reader with good comprehension and output (Understanding and narrations). One would never know that he didn’t read until he was 11 years old!

‘Master C’ can read and enjoys it but not as much as his older brother…yet. He can read well for information but he reads at a slightly lower level for pleasure. But that’s fine. He is developing fluency, and a love of words. He absolutely loved reading his developmentally appropriate Day by Day Kids Bible. That was the book that helped spark a sense of achievement and accomplishment in him. He loves listening to books being read aloud and is having fun with rhymes and tongue-twisters at the moment.

The Best Way

So, I have used both ways you asked about: teaching my girls to read via phonics and then taking more of a natural learning approach compared to starting with a natural learning approach and teaching the boys to read via real life.

We should put many learning opportunities before our children; put rich and noble ideas before them, encourage them to love reading and model that which we want them to emulate, then sit back and delight in the learning that will happen. This doesn’t guarantee that a child will read or love reading, but neither does drilling in phonics, dumbing down literature to nothing more than dull basal readers which contain no stimulating and capturing ideas.

Reading and the teaching of the skill is an art which needs our gentle and loving patience, guidance and nurturing. Teaching reading can build a relationship or cause frustration and embarrassment-tearing apart the relationship. What do I desire more? I don’t believe there is One Right Way to teach reading (much like parenting) although many disagree. Maybe Leonie would offer her thoughts…I’ll pop over to her blog and ask her if she’d be so kind as to share.

I don’t know if any of that has been helpful to you. Feel free to read, take any meat and spit out the bones.

All the best,

Natural Consequences Teach Valuable Life Skills

As I posted a few entries ago, I’ve been spending time with friends and extended family and I’ve witnessed some things which really make me think…deeply. I have gone home and spoken with my husband about them. Why do I worry so much about it? Its not so much that I worry, but as my children are getting older I want to teach them about parenting. Sure they’ll learn parenting from being parented but I also want to be more direct in my approach to teaching about it. S I talk to my children about why I parent the way I do.

Some families live so nice and tidy. I know families like this. The homes are spotless with rarely a thing out of place. Wow, my home has never been like that. Sure, everything needs to be clean but things are always out of place in my home. It just can’t be helped with four children and myself living at home, all day every day. I’d go crazy trying to keep it neat and spotless all the time. But I know some families like this. The sad thing is that while the children have every toy imaginable, they aren’t allowed outside to have any free play. Come on, who are we kidding? No matter how bright and colourful the toys are these days, they don’t beat a children learning to make his own toy from materials found in the backyard. There’s just something inventive, and creative and empowering about that…a plastic blue toy with all the bells and whistles can never do that.

My children are rarely sick. They have pretty strong immune systems. They (and I) credit that to all the dirt and worms they ate when they were small. Once I found my 2yodaughter asleep under the house, curled up in a laundry basket! Another time she tasted cat food! But my children played outside a lot… many hours of the day, in the dirt, climbing trees, running, jumping, crawling, rolling and pretending to be whatever games sprang from their imagination. Coming into contact with dirt and worms made their immune system stronger, so we believe. The mothers of the families I referenced above use antiseptic spray all over the house, several times a day, yet their children still get sick. Maybe children are meant to get a few colds and runny noses as youngsters. Maybe it strengthens their systems?

I’m all for protecting our children…(duh, it would be ludicrous to state that I believe otherwise) but I wonder if many parents are taking it way too far? Are we raising the next generation to be soft and namby pamby? These days it is not politically correct to say NO to a child or to tell them anything less than how good they are. Wow, a far cry from what the gospel tells us about man eh?

What doesn’t kill us can make us stronger!

My children were reminiscing the other night about how unsympathetic I can seem. When they were little and they’d fall over and graze their knee, I would barely take a glance and they wouldn’t get a lot of TLC from me. Sounds harsh? Actually, after reading many lovely homeschool/mothering books (which I do like) I often felt very un-maternal. Yet I love my children dearly. They know that. They also know who to go to when they are REALLY hurt- they come to me. I have often said to them that age old adage, “What doesn’t kill us can make us stronger” (My paraphrase) I have witnessed a 2 year old boy, falling over and then run crying to his mother, who will pick him up and make a fuss as though he has knocked a tooth out! Oi voi! What are we doing? I want my children to grow to be strong, capable, competent, independent adults who can live in a fallen world, who have the courage to stand against the flow, regardless of any hurt they experience. I want them to stand up for truth and righteousness! How can I manage to instill this if they don’t experience a little bit of pain (supervised and controlled) in their younger years? I want so much to protect them, to shield them from the harsh reality of life but I can’t do that or be that forever. One day they will venture out on their own. I must remind myself that I am parenting from this perspective as it’s so easy to get up in only the ‘here and now’.

If I want my child to learn responsibility I can teach it from a curriculum. But really what will make more meaningful sense to him is to see that my ACTIONS back up my words. (Actions speak louder than words). Direct teaching needs to go hand in hand with seeing the parent model real life responsibility. Then we need to give an opportunity to the child- an opportunity to take a responsibility. You know what I’ve found? That they will most likely fail! But the great news is that I then get to guide them, to correct them in gentleness! This is when my children have learned the best lessons in responsibility – through failure! I think children need to learn how to accept failure. I tell my children that a failure is only a failure or a mistake only a mistake IF they don’t learn from it. However, they do need to learn the attitude of picking themselves back up and putting one foot in front of the other- to not get down because of that failure. They need to see living reality in my life too. Better that they learn about failure now, while they are still young and I can supervise, guide and control the situation rather than be slap-bang confronted with it as an adult when it is too late to be corrected by ones parents.

Hand in hand with giving them responsibility is teaching them about consequence– and how we can often choose the outcome. Sure children don’t often set out to choose a negative consequence but as a result of their action that is what comes. This empowers them and gives them responsibility – a far cry from the modern epidemic of people blaming everyone else for their actions and circumstances. We’re trying to teach out children to look further ahead than just the action- look ahead to the consequence. Too often today I see parents who don’t teach their children natural consequences. The child doesn’t pick up their dirty clothes and put them into the laundry but why should he? Mother will do it for him. It has been difficult at times, as parents, for we have allowed our children to experience the natural consequence of their actions. If they have not put their dirty dishes in the sink then they were presented with dirty crockery at meal time, which they promptly ran to the sink and scrubbed. But it’s a lesson learned. My children have all had a favourite item of clothing. At times this item hasn’t been available for them to wear when we were going out because they hadn’t picked it up from the floor. Rather than rush off to wash it I said, “Oh well, that’s too bad. Come on, I’ll help you find something else to wear” Not quite the reaction they wanted but it was a lesson learned. I never do for my child that which they are able to do for themselves. The key here is, I believe, to be consistent.

Of course I want to protect my children…to keep them safe but I have to think long term, not short term. Will my actions today be helping them achieve the goals that, as parents who have sought God for direction, have been set before them. These goals are based on Biblical principles and not our hopes and dreams kinda thing. Parenting isn’t about us, per se, it’s about the children.

Ah, there is so much we need to teach our children. But the great part is that developing a relationship with them and teaching them from the best curriculum called Real Life (experience) is what will see them most ready for the adult world.

Oops, once again this post turned into something the size of a small book. Coffee and Tim Tams to any who made it all the way through.

Oh, for some reason the smilies aren’t showing up. There are meant to be a few smilies scattered through this post…to add context. Sorry they’re not there. I don’t have time to muck around and find out where they are.

Any thoughts?

Teaching Our Children To Not Be Selfish

Children are a blessing…but in this day and age of the *me culture* our children need to learn that they are not the centre of the universe. Society, the world, tells that we are worth it, we are all that matters, we are special. In fact, some of this is true but only in the light of God’s word, not the self centred way that society is preaching it. I see so many young people growing up, believing that in some way, the world owes them something…that they have a ‘right’ just because they were born!

When I first started the home-schooling journey I wanted to provide the absolute best for my children. I wanted them to be smarter than me, richer than me, etc. I thought that home-based-learning could and would achieve all this. I’ll go back a little and explain: In many respects, I wasted my youth – I didn’t apply myself to study or instilling good habits. Actually, I tended to be very bored at school. I couldn’t see the relevance of the knowledge being presented to me…but that’s another story. I got dead-end jobs before entering Nurses Training School and this was where my education began – true education and knowledge. Suffice to say that I wanted so much more for my children. However, I’ve come to see that there was a lot wrong with line of thought. It is reactive, not proactive…despite what I may have thought. I came to see that this line of reasoning actually revolves around me! It doesn’t centre on God’s word at all. Oh, it might have sounded all noble but really, the root of it was pride.

A student doesn’t get a better desk than her teacher. A laborer doesn’t make more money than his boss.
The Message

Allow me to digress a little in order to come back to my point…

A few years ago, I used to have a treat that was just *mine*. Okay okay I’ll divulge my little secret. Tim Tams! Hmmmmm, I love them! My children knew that these were no ordinary bikkies- they were ‘Mum’s’ biscuits. Not to be touched by children! I received a few comments from friends along the lines of, “Do you think you are displaying selfishness to your children?” or “But there’s nothing wrong with kids having treats” and other such comments. If that were my attitude in all things, if it were something I did without grace then I’d have to agree! It would be selfish. But I don’t believe it is a bad thing to have our children learn that they don’t automatically receive everything…that some things are reserved for adults or parents. Of course, as with all of life, grace must be lived and shown though.

There’s a fine line between teaching children that they have to work hard yet also recognise that despite all their efforts, it is God who will set them in their place! Desiring good things for my children, I’ve learned that I must model and teach them contentment, the sovereignty of God and respect more solidly than academic knowledge.

How about you? Has God shown you anything about the state of your own heart, throughout this journey of home-based-learning?

A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master.
Matthew 10:24b NIV

Home Where the Children are the Boss

I like to watch people.

Yup, I even like going to the mall and just observing people, families, singles, children, elderly, anyone. I find it very interesting. I guess I really like people and I like learning how people think and believe and how they behave. These times of observation invariably lead me to times of intense thinking. Tehee, this used to be a bad thing as my head would get into a spin and I’d drive myself nuts. Maybe it’s part of getting older or maybe it’s the effect of the Holy Spirit in my life but I find I’m more able to speak less and be more patient in processing my thoughts before trying to verbalise them.

Anyway, all this to say that I have been observing families and friends lately…some Christian and others aren’t. Some are homeschoolers and others are schoolies. But I have noticed some common trains of thought amongst them…beliefs,actions, that I have learned (and still learning) to deal with and seek a Biblical approach to.

I have a friend. This woman works very hard outside the home, in order to earn money to pay for a private Christian education for her children. She also works very hard within the home to provide a positive and loving home life for the family. Everything she does is for her children. She unpacks their school bag (and I’m talking about a Yr 10 student here!!!) and packs it again with the next days school books. She makes him lunch, washes his clothes, brings him warm milk to tuck him in at bed. She sacrifices a lot in order to provide, what she sees as best, for her child. However, she doesn’t monitor his telephone usage and he has a private line in his room at which he can talk for hours at a time. The teen child seems to rule the roost, not in word but in action.

I have another friend (Wow, 2 ‘IRL’ friends…who woulda thunk it?) who is naturally rather shy. She also enjoys being at home with her younger children. No problems there right? Except that her 2 year old son totally rules the home. This is largely due to the husband’s insistence as he works odd hours and likes his son to be available when he is. This seems to have led to the child not having any routine or any discipline or any guidelines whatsoever. This dear mother cannot even go shopping with him! She must have a sitter for him so she can get groceries as he is such a handful. Oh, they laugh about it and call him ‘cute’ and gave him little pet names but I shudder when I think of what he may become when he is 12 and 22 and not just a 2year old. This young mother desires the very best for her son…she only wants ot please him and to provide the best for him. Much like the mother I mentioned above.

I wonder how our children learn that the world is a much bigger place than their own limited personal experience. I want my children to know that they are fortunate and blessed…I want them to know that the world does not revolve around them! I want them to have a servant’s heart…to serve others…to be always looking outwards rather than inwards. I don’t want them to grow up with the attitude that this world owes them in some way! I wonder how a child can honestly believe that though if they have totally been the centre of their parent’s world…if everything the parent does revolves around the child then what is the message the child is hearing?

I wonder if homeschoolers can be at particular risk of raising selfish children? I don’t have any ‘cut n dried’ thoughts, it’s just something I have pondered. I mean, we mothers stay at home training and educating children rather than pursuing our own career…do we need to tell our children that while we love them to bits, our whole world does not revolve around them? How much of my life have I put on hold…til after the children have grown and left home? Do I have any interests or hobbies or passions that I pursue? What do my children know about me…not just my thoughts on the Bible or child rearing but do they know my likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams? Do my children know that the gospel of Christ is much more important than homeschooling?

Have you noticed a trend toward the idolatry of children? How do you guard against it?

Why I Don't Make New Year Resolutions

I have a few friends (yes, only a few) and I think I sometimes get on their nerves with my incessant questioning of everything. To everything I ask the 5W’s and a H (I think that might be a theme for my year). If a friend tells me they’re moving interstate, I ask ‘Why?’. Yet another friend will excitedly share a new curriculum to use with their child and I’ll ask, ‘Why?’. I can’t help myself. I don’t do it deliberately, I promise. I just want to know why. So it was with New Year resolutions. I wanted to know why it was such a common practice. Oh, I used to love that feeling of being able to have a fresh start, a blank slate to begin again with but then I truly realised that every day is a new day. There isn’t anything special or empowering about a New Year resolution or any other goal for that matter. About 3000 years ago, the Ancient Babylonians were in the practice of making a New Year resolution. (There truly is nothing new under the sun eh? 🙄 ) I’m not sure I need to model myself after them!

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

My motivation is the important matter in setting goals or resolutions. If God is at the centre then I’ll have greater chance f success. For God’s sovereign will comes into the picture even as a homeschooling mum! If my goal is in accordance with His will, and His will is what I most desire then He will enable me to fulfill that goal…giving me strength as I work through with (learning) diligence.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Goal setting steps

Firstly, I pray and ask God for wisdom (James 1:5)
Then, I’ll pray (again without ceasing) and ask God for practical steps to fulfilling those goals and breaking them into manageable, little bit by little bit, steps.
Pro actively set out to attain the manageable steps, setting in place measures whereby I can be accountable, all the while relying on His strength.
Thank Him for any success and failure. When I achieve success, be sure to give God the glory and keep an open heart to Him so that I may be humble and not grow in pride. Sure, but what about giving thanks in failure? What? Why give thanks in failing? Oh I am so thankful that our Father has promised to accept all who believe, regardless of their worthiness. John 6:40 I am thankful that when I fail or lose it or don’t achieve my goals, I am thankful that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

I really liked Leonie’s thoughts about motto’s and themes. (Teehee, she does these but not goals! My, how different we all are 😀 ) I would have to agree with her- at least for my life. I have had themes. I remember a few years ago a theme for me was, Bloom Where You Are Planted. It was just after another interstate move that I didn’t want. I spent a good part of the year sulking and complaining, hibernating from everyone. Until I learned that I need to “Bloom Where I am Planted”! That became my catch-cry for the next year- on until the next move interstate. Another year my theme was “Just Do it!“. I had spent years trying to learn and practice a new method of Bible study…after after it all I found the easiest way was to Just Do It! I’ll figure the finer details out once I start doing it. This past year I guess my theme was Fit n 40.

Unlike Leonie though, I don’t really develop my themes in advance. (Bravo to Leonie for being so gung-ho and proactive though. She has more energy than I do.) I’ll have to wait a little while until this year happens to see what my motto or theme will be, although I strongly suspect I have already written of two themes in this post! If you read my blog regularly you’ll probably pick up on it yourself.

Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Psalm 37:5-6

Home Education in Australia, the Last 10 Years

We started learning at home in 1998- actually I made the girls do diagnostic testing, bought their books and get started on them in December, 1997. How do I remember this? Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of my mother’s graduation. It is 10 years since she passed away and went to be with the Lord. John and I had been investigating the notion of homeschooling for over 6 months and had taken the appropriate steps to start in January. My mother died on December 14, and we traveled interstate to take her body to her hometown for burial and to be with my Dad. We stayed with him, in my childhood home, until the New Year but it was over the Christmas break that I started homeschooling the girls. Two days after my Mum’s funeral the girls were hard at their workbooks! Now when I mention how keen, eager and enthusiastic I was I hope you’ll believe me! 🙄

💡 However, I really don’t consider that we have never parented in a home-based-learning way. Even though ‘Miss A’ went to school for Kindergarten and year 1, she had to come home every night and I would help her with spelling, reading, memory work and maths. Actually, it was this that made me even start thinking of learning at home. I couldn’t understand what on earth they did at school all day, if after being there for 6 hours she still needed even more work at home, when she was tired! There had to be a better way!

Hmm, I’m not really making a point in this post, am I? I guess I don’t really have a point. I have been thinking a lot about how the home education movement in Australia has changed and is now again, changing. As a 10 year homeschooler, I can see that there are positive changes but there are also some not-so positive ones. These changes affect everything from the overall movement and homeschool communities to the grass root level of a mother teaching her children at home.

There is so much curricula and so many resources available nowadays. Actually, it’s almost gluttonous! I remember the absolute joy and ecstatic, bubbliness that welled inside me when I found another Christian homeschooler, Anna from Fountain resources. Anna kindly lent me a few books and I couldn’t believe that someone, somewhere, had written a book on homeschooling! Now I know some of you might find that ridiculous (that I thought that way) but believe me when I tell you that books and resources were not that easy to come by 10 years ago, in Australia.

I remember when upon finding a good living book that we (a few other homeschoolers that I knew via snail mail) would share it around fervently, handling it as though it were gold. Those of us on email groups or printed family newsletters would delightedly share our latest good book finds and that book might end up going on a tour of Australia, as it was posted from one family to the next!

I remember when Anna told me she could order in a particular book for me! Whohoo! but it would take about 3 months to come in by boat. Did I care? No way. Three months was a long time but there was no other option. I had to learn to be patient, unlike these days when I can place an order and have it on my doorstep within 4 days. So I just waited and kept on with the marvelous task of teaching and discipling my little children, and getting together occasionally for a joyous afternoon with another family. Then the book arrived! Oh voi, what a happy mama I was! But you know what was really interesting? That book was not at all in keeping with my teaching style, nor my children’s learning style. But guess what? It didn’t matter! I used it anyway, because I was learning along with the children! I taught them using the book and just modified it to suit. Easy peasy. Nowadays though, one can purchase resources that are only suited toward a particular denomination and learning style and still own way too much! There’s just so much available, it isn’t funny. Yet in all this latest and greatest have I spent more or less time with my children? Am I learning to teach my children where they are at, which involves really knowing my children?

I remember that the idea of a field trip or excursion didn’t even enter my mind. All I knew was that I continued on with my jobs and the children naturally came everywhere with me. They saw me in action, living my life, learning about the world as we lived. After a few years, and a few more homeschoolers entered the scene, talk started of organising excursions. So we did…and I did. We went to the local Fire Station and the Police Station and a few other places like that. I found myself getting a little frustrated when the children would ask questions about the Police or Fire brigade, instead asking them, “Didn’t you listen when we were there?” or “Wait until next week when we visit the Police Station. You’ll find out then.” How sad is that? I taught my children to compartmentalise their learning and not to come to me with every little concern and question.Moving on from that can you guess what the very next issue to arise was then? Yup, socialisation: when, where, how, and with whom were the questions. Hmmm, maybe I should have asked myself WHY.

I remember the homeschool get togethers, with people from various walks of life: Christian, non Christian, Catholic, secular, Australian and foreign. Nowadays, there are so many splinter groups depending on country, religion, age, gender, learning style, and many other divisive issues that we have really lost a lot of valuable sharing and information. Oh, I know it’s good to talk to others who are like minded but I remember the specialness of when that would happen. Often now, sadly, it seems like we expect it to be ‘the norm’.

Hmmmm, as a movement in Australia, I wonder how much we have gained in the last 10 years. How much have we lost? I’d love to hear your thoughts regardless if you feel differently to me, or the same.

Emotionally Absent

Light’s are on but nobody’s home.

As a homeschool mum I had given up any notion of a career outside the home. I did this joyously and because I wanted to. I didn’t want to miss the everyday happenings of my children…I didn’t want to be absent…but would you believe that a Christian homeschooling mum who dearly loves her children struggled with this very issue?

It all started about five years after we started homeschooling. I had tried a school-at-home approach, tried unit studies and was burning myself out by trying to rigidly conform our home and family to fall in line with Charlotte Mason’s methods. Previous to this my dear mother had *graduated* to be with the Lord and we started homeschooling within a few weeks. I also had a 6 month old baby at the time. My husband was away frequently and I found it hard. Then we completely uprooted from everything and everyone familiar to go to a new job in a new town, in a new state! My health was slowly going downhill. I think I’ve mentioned before that it can be draining and tiring to go our and make new friends and start all over again, so I didn’t. I was at a place where I was content…or so I thought.

The Internet is such an easy place to get lost in eh? One can roam around and meet new people, learn new things and justify sitting on one’s backside for large periods of time. (Oh, but maybe I’m the only one who struggles with that) I soon found that if I wasn’t actually physically sitting at my chair on the Internet, my head was on the Internet. Instead of my heart being turned toward the home, it was turned toward the Internet! You know, while in the shower pondering various situations and posts…thinking of email responses and hurrying the dishes just to write a quick reply…(or am I alone here too? I don’t think I am. )

It got to the point where I was hurrying through lessons…or when I was reading aloud my mind wasn’t really on the book. I was simply going through the motions of homeschooling and parenting. The lights were on but no one was home. I was physically present but emotionally absent from my home and the lives of those most precious to me.

But you know what? Simply recognising the problem wasn’t enough to fix it. 🙁 I asked some good (internet) friends to pray for me. They knew of my struggles and pray they did! I believe it was largely due to them, and due to the desire of my heart, that God released me from the bondage of Internet Addiction. Yep, I kid you not! Sad, isn’t it?

Part of the solution was for me to realise what attraction the Internet held for me. A large part of it was fellowship with like-minded believers. That was a huge part. There was another part of me that desired adult interaction. I also like to escape from the mundane. And I love to talk…I love to listen. I also love to learn. Aha, see all the causes that band together to fuel the fires of my addiction? Once I recognised these things, I was able to devise a plan of action. I didn’t want to get rid of the computer all together. It is simply a machine. Surely I should be able to control it, rather than have it control me? I didn’t see that getting rid of it would help deal with the root of the problem.

I need fellowship. I need to receive and I need to give to other adults. I love to talk and write. And I was like sponge, I was so hungry for knowledge. But in all this, I was suffering from Information Overload. Too much information floating around in my head. I found it hard to make decisions because there were always so many differing opinions on things. (Oh boy, what a mess eh?) I ended up emotionally paralysed because of Information Overload – my mind never stopped, never rested. It was always on the go, the hunt for new or more information. All this busyness and effort and stress on such low priority activities.

Needing to know

I had an urge to ‘keep up with what’s happening‘…(this is just a form of gossip, which the Bible speaks a lot about) to know what was going on within the homeschool circles. (See, I told you I was in a mess). The thing is, there is just way too much information, too many blogs, too many forums, too much info to try and keep up with! I was able to give it up…by giving it all over to God.

I have had to learn, and am still on a major learning curve, how to focus and to think more clearly. I have had to learn to be selective about the things I read, the places I visit and emails I respond to. I’m not on as many email groups or forums anymore. I’ve had to learn how to guard my heart and mind…but that’s for another post. 😉

Breaking Free

Taking a break or sabbatical from the computer is good…I found it especially easy on holidays or moving house. Actually, after not being online for a few days I really start to rest. Then, even when we return I’m not in a hurry to get back online because I know the pull it has toward me.

Firstly, I had to repent. I repented in front of my children. I told them the problems I was having but that it was not the true desire of my heart. I apologised to them and asked their forgiveness. I also gave my children permission to let me know (in a correct and respectful manner) when I was being ‘absent’ from them. If I was on the computer instead of with them, I taught them that they could gently come to me, touch my hand and ask me to do something with them. I taught them that they weren’t to nag me. Strangely, I don’t respond well to nagging or sarcasm or whining. 😉 You know, my girls did have reason to come to me. But you know what? They did not abuse that privilege. They came to me in love, touched my hand gently and looked into my eyes. Oh, what mother could resist? This was a big key toward helping me. It provided me with some accountability. My husband had offered to turn off the connection between certain hours but I new that the motivation had to come from within me, not an external source. I don’t suggest that all families try something so forward but I share this because it helped me greatly. It also taught my children a few things: we all need accountability…their Christian homeschooling mother isn’t perfect…how to correct someone in love…how easily one can use something good to ‘escape’…to know what it means to be emotionally absent and more.

Dear wife, dear mother, be there for your husband. Be there for your children. They want you. And they need you. No one else can do the job you are doing right now. God wants you, dear Christian wife and/or mother, to serve your family wholeheartedly, as unto Him. Play a game of cards or Uno with them. Do a jigsaw puzzle with them. If you want to have a great relationship with them when they are 15, then you need to have a great relationship with them when they are five! God is a God of miracles so I’m not saying it’s too late for any relationship that isn’t solid…rather that it’s so much easier to maintain a solid relationship than to repair a broken or hurting one, and then build on it from there. I’m not saying you have to be talking to your children every waking minute of every day. I’m talking about priorities and quality and quantity time.

Start now, today. Nothing is more important. Writing a book? Book orders to send off? Curriculum choices to make? Writing an email response…these are all things that need to be prioritised because they can take you away from your children. So, turn of the browser…go call your children and talk to them as you teach them or have them help you prepare tonight’s meal. Go on, you’ll be so glad you did.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

Convinced or Convicted

Issues, Convictions and being Convinced…
originally written in 2000

Married at the tender age of 18, I was blissfully ignorant of domestic duties and all that married life would entail. I loved my husband dearly and I thank God for giving me such a gracious and patient man, with which to spend and share my life with. We have just recently celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary and we tend to get a little sentimental around this time of year. Only the other day John recalled the first meal I ever made him, before we were married – ham, cheese and mustard sandwiches! Well, it really is a testament to God’s greatness that we ended up married as I’m surprised that John went through with it after I nearly burnt his mouth and esophagus with an over abundance of mustard. He had seen how I kept my bedroom in a complete and utter chaotic mess and had observed how my mother waited on me, hand and foot. How he was not at all worried or apprehensive about life after marriage I will never understand.

On our honeymoon (as a matter of survival) John taught me how to cook 3 min noodles. I already managed toast and hard boiled eggs so we lived on these for some time. After we had moved into a house I worked hard at making it into a real home, a castle for my king ! I taught myself to cook and clean house, largely through trial and error. For instance, I have learnt that nylon petticoats do not fare very well if ironed. One by one children started to come along and I would read and research on parenting babies, toddlers and so forth. I have always desired to be a Proverbs 31 woman (or as close as I could possibly be), to love my husband and train my children.

I need to continually remember my salvation. My salvation came at a great price to the Father and it is only the Cross that saves. Many issues that I held dear to us are simply that. Issues! Ideals! Yes, they can add fruitfulness to my life, make us healthier, wealthier and wiser but I need to be careful that I keep preaching the Gospel of Christ. I need to see these distinctions clearly and understand the differences. There are so many issues that today’s Christian woman needs to be aware of. I can homeschool our children using the finest Christian material, while my husband runs our own home business. I can sew all the families clothes or shop exclusively at second hand stores. I can bake our own bread and grind our own flour, eat our organically grown fruit and veggies, I can wear non-patterned dresses only and never cut or color my hair or wear makeup. To wear a head covering or not? We may not watch TV nor attend any function that isn’t termed “Christian”. To celebrate Christmas and Easter? We may listen to “Accapella” singing only, avoiding any music other than classical or ‘spiritual’. We may choose not to use soap or apply any chemical laden substance to our body. Home birth or hospital birth? Where does it end?

These are just some of the issues that I have pondered, questioned and had to speak with my husband about. I’m sure there are more as there is nothing new under the sun. Some of these issues are quite valid and can be of immense benefit to our families . Oftentimes though, when we as wives, have either stumbled across something that has been wonderful for us or that the Lord has led us to, we latch on to that and become so convinced of its merit and excited about it that we want to share it with everyone. Somewhere, somehow, amidst all this, something goes awry!

The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you.

John 14:26
The Message

Share Your Life With Your Children

Driving in the car…washing dishes…sweeping the floor, preparing a meal…reading a good book…visiting the new neighbour…running errands and paying bills.What do these have in common? These are a few things that I have had opportunity to do this week…to do with my children. And it is through these tasks and delights that I have opportunity to share the good news of God with them.

One of my favourite verses in God’s word is Deuteronomy, chapter 6. I particularly like Chapter 6: but that’s only because of the surrounding verses. The writer of these verses is Moses.

Moses went to Egypt and led the Israelites out of Egypt. They wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years. So close yet so far away from the Promised Land. During all this time the people of Israel had fallen away form the Lord and the teachings of Moses. Moses goes to Mt. Sinai and receives the Commandments from God. I often need to remember why the Law was given. It was given to reveal divine holiness!It showed who God is… His standards of righteousness. When I look at the commandments I can see how far short I have fallen…and how I can never attain adherence to them of myself.

I was intrigued to learn that it took the Israelites about 40 hours to get out of Egypt but it took 40 years for the Israelites to find the promised land- or as I’ve heard is said somewhere before, “It took 40 years to get Egypt out of Israel.” However, the other interesting point is that Moses didn’t get to enter the promised land. Only two of the Israelites who were taken out of Egypt got to enter it and they were Joshua and ‘Master C’ . Al the others had died and there was a new generation.

Just before his death, before the entrance to the promised land, Moses gave a final word of admonition and exhortation or additional instruction. (Interestingly, Jesus also quotes this verse) Moses was their leader. He helped them to live godly lives amongst heathen nations. As THE Word was taught to us, so we must teach it to our children.
God knows that our teachings, lives and beliefs can influence future generations. He wants us to think this way. How many generations can you see in the verses? Three! That means me, my children and my grandchildren!

I’ve heard many people say that they wish there was a handbook or guidebook for this whole parenting caper. But there is!!!!! It is the Bible!

So, what are we to pass down to the generations- to our children. Head knowledge? Well, I believe it can start there but it must be more than that. It must be in our lives. The word must change us. Along with a knowledge of God we must also have a fear of the lord – a love. Otherwise, all we have is religion. I wasn’t raised a Christian although my mother converted before I came to know the Lord so I say that my mother is the first generation Christian. It began with her 🙂 She started to live out her life in God in front of me…and I picked up on that passion. I think that a possible danger for me is that I may become complacent in the living out of my faith and thus my children will become that way or even acknowledge God’s commands but not live in the fear or love of the Lord. Oh Lord, create in me a clean heart…keep my heart drawn to you.

I often ask myself if I am really excited about what God is doing in my life or has done for me? Do I share my walk with them? How are they to ‘catch’ my passion if I don’t share it with them?

Living, loving and learning together…that’s our family!

Lifestyle of Learning

One of the first and most profound statements that I had ever read was the one by William Butler Yeats, “Education is not the filling of pail, rather the lighting of a fire.”This has been a cornerstone of our home and family along with the Scripture of Duet 6: 4-9.

I guess if I had to label the how of our home/family, I would say it is loosely based on a ‘discipleship method’ or a “Bible-Centred, Eclectic, Discipleship Based, Spirit-Led, Identity-Directed, Relational, Literature Based Learners-at-home” approach. This approach (for want of a better term) can look a lot like natural learning but in our home, has a few differences. It isn’t focused upon academics- it is spiritual and real life based; and after that comes academics. It is only after sitting with John and praying and talking about our goals or aims for our children that we have come back to this. I believe that if we have a goal then this goal will influence the how and what we do with our children. Our aim is to have children who love and reverence the Lord and abide in Him. We believe that knowledge just for the sake of knowledge puffs up and fills us with pride if not done/learned with humility and a goal of serving the Lord. The main way we try to achieve this is not on content or *what-to-teach-when* rather a focus is relationships- relationships with parents, siblings, others and God.

To me, this approach is a lot larger than simply not using workbooks or a scope and sequence. It is looking at the child’s uniqueness- his gifts and interests and trying to develop other skills from this- or using this interest as central to his development. This doesn’t mean that my children just run amok each day but it does mean that no two days look the same (although at this stage the boys do look similar).

I’m still trying to find a balance between exposing the children to things that they don’t have a natural bent for without overloading myself or tying myself to a schedule of MUST DO THIS or MUST DO THAT . Eg: Fine Arts is not something that ‘Miss A’ takes a lot of delight in but I still try to encourage an appreciation for this in her life. Listening to different forms of music, view different works of art, etc can all be used to gently enhance my family and my home but do I need to turn it into a lesson? A subject? Maybe for one child that is appropriate because of her interests and gifts (be it even wooden watches) but does the other NEED to study that? These are things that John and I have worked through and are now happy to be at a place where we can answer these questions for our own family.

This approach, for us, also means that I strive to *keep their hearts* turned toward John and I and the family. This takes time and work. I also believe that true natural learning takes a lot of work by the parents. It isn’t just a matter of letting the kids run amok and see what they learn- it is more about putting things before the children and also praying for wisdom in discovering their interests and then developing their basic skills in and around those interests.
This form of learning allows the children to pursue their own (God given) interests with my support and guidance *and* I can be included with them in this! My children are surrounded by books (lots of ’em), good TV programs and other learning resources but mainly, (and I think this is a big key) and hopefully they will see my example of loving to learn, to study. This fits in with our goal of keeping the children’s hearts as I am actively involved in their course of learning. Another benefit is that their learning isn’t as ‘artificial’ as it has been. It hasn’t necessarily been spoon-fed to them- they have dug a lot of information out for themselves.

An example of modeling learning – this is part of the naturalness of learning at home. Our children can memorise Scripture and colour in Bible pictures galore but if they don’t see us living and breathing that Truth, then what do they really learn? This doesn’t mean that we don’t use workbooks but that within the use of books, our focus is now different. Our focus is not upon WHAT we want to achieve or how much we want to read but that we view our more formal learning times as training- training the hearts of the children amidst some English, history or science lessons. (The real interesting thing is that we have shared this with the children and they understand this. Now, instead of just trying to plow through the work or books, they recognize the need for me to stop and address an attitude or behaviour. ) Anyway, it wasn’t until I could let go of ‘my‘ ideas of what we should cover and when (otherwise called a scope and sequence) that I was able to look at other ways. I never used anyone else’s S&S but nevertheless there was one: it was my own rigid but ‘original’ plan of what I wanted to do. I wasn’t homeschooling in liberty or freedom but I was in bondage- to my own plans! Rewinding my thoughts back to 6 years ago, I now see again that the ‘process of learning‘ is more important than the ‘what’ or ‘how much’ we are learning. How much of this learning is force-fed? Artificial? How much am I simply trying to fill the bucket? Is my child remotely interested in this subject or am I forcing her to do it? I think that there is a difference between becoming literate and loving to learn.

I’ve also learned (and am still learning) that this type of learning is more natural… (naturally) 😉 – we see it all the time. Students in school take the morning off to have a visit to the Fire Dept and learn about firemen and our students and learn this in the course of a trip to the supermarket when they see a fire truck on its way to a fire and we have a discussion about it. This is natural and we can accept this but we tend to draw the line with other areas. Why? I’m not saying we should or shouldn’t draw the line but it’s a good thing to ask ourselves eh? Why do we draw this line? Is it based on fear? Or a desire for academic excellence? What motivates us or drives us to feel the way we do?

When we understand that no one else will teach our children the wonderful things in the world, we realise that we have to make the most of our time. This is often best achieved as things arise naturally. When you are out in the garden and your little boy asks a zillion questions about a spider that has piqued his interest, you don’t say, “Oh, not now honey…that will come up in your science book so don’t worry about it for now.” Rather we seize the opportunity and make the most of it, explaining (or trying to) the answers to his questions. Maybe you don’t know the answer. That’s okay too especially if you answer with, “Hey honey, I’m not too sure on that one myself. What a great question. But let’s look that up in a book when we go back in the house, okay?” Through this you are modeling a lifestyle of learning…you are showing your child that even adults like to learn.

I believe that this natural approach to learning is good but I also don’t think that it is a formula. Well maybe it is touted as such but I don’t think that it should be. As homeschoolers, we are prone to latching on to formulas hoping that it will give us success. (In whatever we deem as successful). Combining the principles of natural learning and the discipleship approach (Deut 6) can be purposeful, beneficial and have its own structure or routine of learning. It need not be the random, haphazard look that often scares people away.

I too, sometimes use labels and like many, recognize the small scope that labels allow for. I think that sometimes natural learning is almost a dirty word in some circles and I think this is a shame. It’s hard not to use labels when trying to communicate to a wide variety of people, especially when one is trying to get a whole viewpoint across in as few words as possible-and to an extent labels can help us achieve that.

Living, loving and learning together…that’s our family!

Bible Study Scope and Sequence

HomeGrownKids Scope & Sequence
Our scope and sequence is a similar pattern to what we follow for history. (internal blog link) It is closely linked with my understanding of the Stages of Learning, which you can view here.

Birth to age 9 ( birth -G4)
>> If you have older children that are following the same sequence, it is easy to add simple but beautiful picture books into the junior schedule. Even better if the older children read it and discuss it with the youngers!>> Songs and memory work are of great benefit during this stage. (Colin Buchanan is a classic!!) We also go through the book, Training Hearts Teaching Minds: Family Devotions Based on the Shorter Catechism by Starr Meade.>> We go through the Old Testament – using a children’s Bible such as:

Day by Day Kids Bible.
Beginner’s Bible-NIrV ISBN: 0310926378
Family-Time Bible ISBN: 0842365761
Egermeier’s Bible Story Book ISBN: 0871622297
The Childs Story Bible by C. Voss

Devotional type of reading: Books like;

Little Visits with Jesus ISBN: 0570058074 might come in handy.
Little Visits with God ISBN: 0570058090

A few links(more to come)
http://gardenofpraise.com/bibleles.htm
Age 10-13 or (G5 – G8)
>> Review the same chronological cycle, if desired, but in greater depth. Pay attention to biographical stories and Christian fiction.
>> This is the time to develop or use a Bible timeline.
>> Songs and memory work are of great benefit during this stage. We also go through the book, Training Hearts Teaching Minds: Family Devotions Based on the Shorter Catechism by Starr Meade.

Bible reading:

- Archeological Study Bible
- Greenleaf Guide to the Old Testament

Studies:

- How the Bible Came to Us by Meryle Dooney
- Genesis, Finding Our Roots by Ruth Beechick

Books:

Ben Hur
The Bronze Bow
Adam and His Kin: The Lost History of Their Lives and Times
Discover Jesus in Genesis: An Illustrated Biblical Theology for All Ages
God King – A Story in the Days of King Hezekiah by Joanne Williamson Timeline: 700 B.C., Egypt/Judea
Hittite Warrior by Joanne Williamson Timeline: 1200 B.C., Judea
Victory on the Walls- A Story of Nehemiah by Frieda Clark Hyman Timeline: 445 B.C., Israel
Jotham’s Journey A Storybook for Advent By Arnold Ytreeide as well as Tabitha’s Travels and Bartholemew’s Passage
The Great Dinosaur Mystery and the Bible
Life in the Great Ice Age and others like this
Twice Freed by Patricia St John
Runaway and others by Patricia St John
Lots of Bethlehem books

Age 14 through 17-18 or (G9 – 12)
>> Time to tie things all together using a chronological and narrative approach.
>> Doing a survey of the Old and New Testaments is good, as is doing a study on the Life of the Messiah.
>> Consider biographies, historical fiction and unabridged Bible readings.
>> Pay particular attention to discussing thoughts and ideas, updating the time-line or Book of Centuries.
>> Tie all studies in with a Book of Centuries (Timeline), good living books, and a Bible Encyclopedia and other study tools.
>> You may also consider learning a little about Church history as the students get older. Biographies are great for this, and there are too many good books for me to even begin to mention.

Bibles:

Narrated Bible in Chronological Order – Chronological accuracy, easy-to-read format. Includes: Moses’ laws by subject; Proverbs presented topically; Psalms arranged by sentiment; Paul’s teachings integrated into Acts.
Archeological Study Bible
Serendipity Bible for Study Groups

Studies:

How to Read the Bible for All its Worth
Wisdom Unit Study
Messiah Unit
Learn the Bible in 24 Hours by Chuck Missler (Literary narrative style. Great read aloud for older students)
30 Days to Understanding the Bible by Max Anders (this is more visual than the one by Chuck Missler)
For the Layman- Survey of the Old Testament by Kenneth Levy. This survey is a non-denominational, historical overview filled with foundational information every student of the Bible should have. Using a workbook, Ken Levy guides students on a chronological tour through every book of the Old Testament. Students study how the Old Testament was put together, its major divisions, and what makes it unique using the workbook and cassette tapes.
For the Layman- Survey of the New Testament by Kenneth Levy. Life and ministry of Jesus, the growth of the early church, the letters of Paul, and more in this workbook with cassette tapes.
100 Most Important Events in Christian History

Tools:

Proverbial Wisdom and Common Sense
Evidence That Demands a Verdict
The Complete Book of Who’s Who in the Bible – provides readers with a complete listing of people in the Bible with descriptions of their lives and accomplishments.
Manners and Customs in the Bible.
Student Bible Atlas (Here is a great study guide to go with the Holman Bible Atlas.)
The Kregel Pictorial Guide to Bible History (and others) ISBN: 0825424623
Victor Journey Through the Bible is our favourite
The Case for Christ and Case for Easter by Lee Strobel

Books:

The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson
A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers (good series)
Listen to Her Voice: Women of the Hebrew Bible by Miki Raver
Vinegar Boy by Alberta Hawse. This is the gripping story of a boy’s dramatic encounter with Christ on the Cross.
Lots of Bethlehem books
The Priest, The Warrior, and The Prince. Novella’s by Francine Rivers.

Church History resources

Click here to go to our Church History and Heroes page!

Bible Study Guides Bible Study Guide for all ages
Family Bible study!Positive Actions
Teaching a child’s heart and his head. Kindy, Junior High and High School. Teacher Manual and Student Book including memory verses and worksheets. Able to be used twice a week or 4-5 times a week.

Explorer’s Bible Study
Daily lessons from Preschool to Adult level, including activities, questions and maps. Apparently families are able to study the Bible together but using the different books for each level.

Deeper Roots
Has studies from grade 7-12. Inductive study.

Firm Foundations – From Creation to Christ
This curriculum is set up to chronologically teach through the Bible, from Creation to Christ! Extremely thorough.

My students will be completing a Survey of the Old and New Testaments and a great resource is the For the Layman series.

For the Layman: A Survey of the Old Testament and
For the Layman: A Survey of the New Testament
by Ken Levy
These are a set of cassette’s and a workbook where Ken Levy takes you through the Bible. Full of information and ties events and people together!

An excellent study! Study guide for the Holman Bible Atlas! This is a 69-page pdf download file.

HOW Bible Lessons with Little Ones

Families who have an older child using a HoW approach seem to find it easier to know what to do with the younger siblings. A few people seem to need further help with instituting a HoW approach with a young family. I wonder if this confusion arises because people are trying to use a HoW unit study without understanding the thoughts that make up the approach. A few other methods have a similar difficulty in that they are foremost a method or an approach. AmblesideOnline is one that I have seen other people struggle with until they understand the *why* of it. Without understanding the principles behind the approach, AO is just another booklist; dry and long. But, when that booklist is combined with the methods espoused by Charlotte Mason, the booklist becomes so much more. It is the method or the principles that are the binding glue. So it is with HoW. The units are great! But, they are only a small part of the greater work. The Heart of Wisdom Teaching Approach is an approach that is based upon biblical principles- it isn’t simply sprinkling a few key Scriptures throughout the pages of a book nor is it reading only Christian books with no regard to methods used in teaching. It is an entire method or approach that can be used from birth through to adulthood. In my own life, I use a HoW approach!

So, onto the daily practicality of using HoW with a young family. What could such a day look like? Firstly, a principle of the HoW approach is Bible First- regardless of the ages or number of children in the family. You will study the Bible and use Bible study tools relevant to your children?s ages and development level. Then, you can study thematic unit studies, using living books and the Internet. Through this study is where you will develop the little ones language skills and start to focus on building good habits essential for further study: habits like attentiveness and producing one’s best effort, and the art of narration. You’ll need to do some phonics instruction and maths with your child.

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Family Worship

“Hear, Yisra’el: the LORD is our God; the LORD is one: and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.
These words, which I command you this day, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.
You shall bind them for a sign on your hand, and they shall be for symbols between your eyes.
You shall write them on the door-posts of your house, and on your gates.”

Deuteronomy 6: 4-9

From this, it is my understanding that we, as parents are to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…and then to teach and lead our children in that too.

The Hebrews didn’t separate knowledge into divisions of spiritual and then secular. Rather, they saw that the main aim of education was to train the whole person for service unto God. It is because of this that our family has the aims that it does- that we use the methods that we do.

We aim to do a few things each day. The most important one is to read God’s Word. And to pray- to talk and listen with God. Ultimately, to become hearers AND doers of the Word.

Along with this, we have some other goals for our family although we recognise that these don’t need to be accomplished in one year!

- Read through the Bible twice.
- To learn how how to use resource tools-to use study materials such as, concordances, lexicons, and dictionaries.
- To learn the flow of biblical history and geography.
- Learn of Proverbs and practical wisdom
- Learn about the life of Christ and develop a relationship with Him.
- To learn about the story of God’s kingdom on earth- the history of the church.
- To learn correct doctrine (teachings).
- Become hears and doers of the Word!

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Daily Rhythms : Blocks Schedule

We don’t have a set daily schedule. We don’t eat meals at specified times or have a daily to-do list. Instead we tend to work in blocks of time. In the morning, we discuss briefly what blocks of time we are doing that day and this way the children know what to expect.

(Times given are approximate and are determined by the day’s activities)

Breakfast and Responsibility Time

(2hrs)

Personal Bible reading and prayer time.
Tidy room and make bed.
Personal hygiene.
Breakfast and put on bread machine
General cleaning and management of the day to day clutter.
Discuss the day and things to do.

Table Time (3 hours)

Bible
English
Maths
Science
History

Family Activity Time

Meals
Watching movies
Softball
Bike riding
Photography or computer with Dad
Board games

Household Responsibility Time

Car cleaning
Yard cleaning
Major housecleaning jobs (Bathroom, windows)

Family Reading-Time

Purposed Reading as a family
Other subjects such as history, science, literature, art, music etc.

Productive Planned Activity

(2 hours)

Bible reading and word study
Scrapbook or other self directed project
Home or Life Skills… Sewing, cooking
Foreign language
Computer Skills (not Internet or games)
Construction Projects–Legos, Carpentry
Piano
Read books

Productive Free-Activity

(2 hours)

Bible reading and word study
Scrapbook or other self directed project.
Home or Life Skills – Sewing, cooking,
Foreign language
Computer Skills (not Internet or games)
Construction Projects–Legos, Carpentry
Piano
Calligraphy or drawing
Craft box
Letter writing (Make a card for someone)
Jigsaw puzzles
Write a story
Board games
Listen to music and dance
Do a nature hunt
Trampoline
Clean backyard
Iron clothes
Bake a cake
Make popcorn and then make jewelry
Have a bath and play in it
Chess
Do a word search
Leaf or tree rubbings
Make paper or soap (paper kit)
Rehearse a play and put on show
Write book review
Science experiment
Hide and Seek
Create cubby house
Make paper airplanes / dolls
Garden
Have a ‘drinking water contest’
Do a crossword
Look at photo albums or scrapbook
Play dough
Coin collections
Stamp albums
Press flowers

Veg Out Time

Unstructured rest and relaxation time

Quiet Time

Sleeping, praying, reading, playing quietly in room.

Grace: 3

We have seen and learned about the unavoidable wrath that is to come for all man, and that no matter how much we might try to strive to reach God or to please Him, we cannot do so. We have learned that it isn’t what you know but who you know. We have learned that it isn’t about our performance rather our position, through Christ. Today, I’d like to explore Romans 7 as it teaches about law and grace. Bear with me a little as I stretch the picture of two men. Mr. Law and Mr. Grace.

Mr. Law is over-bearing, demanding, rigid and points out every fault and error. While he has very high standards himself, he continually reminds you of your inability to keep to his standards. He doesn’t help you in your efforts. He is correct though – for he is pure and holy – but his standards are unattainable. Not only all this but you cannot be released from this through death as he will never die- he is eternal. Would you feel like a captive? What, where, who and how is grace in all this?

Well, Mr. Law won’t die. He won’t pass away. How then, can you be released from the control of Mr. Law? The way out is death – but not the death of Mr. Law rather that of our own death! As we identify with Christ, through Him, we can die to the Law!

Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God.
Romans 7:4

When we ask Jesus to save us, when we accept His suffering on the cross, when we believe in His shed blood, when we have been justified through faith, we are said to have ‘died with him‘ So, once and for all we have died to the law. We have been released from the Law’s control and authority.

Wow! So where does that leave us? Are we now wandering around doing whatever pleases us? Do we not submit to authority? Do we have no rules? Ah, we need to keep reading Romans.

But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code.
Romans 7:6

Now we have died to the Law, we have joined with Christ. We can run into the eternal arms of the graceful, kind, powerful Lord Jesus. But wait, there’s more. 🙂 Jesus wants us to bear fruit. It now looks like this:

PERFORMANCE —-> LAW —-> STANDARDS —-> INSTRUCTIONS

JESUS —-> POSITION —-> GRACE and LIFE —-> FRUIT

Jesus gives LIFE! Grace gives life! The Law does not give us life. You don’t have to live under the authority of the law. Choose life! Choose grace! You can have victory in life by living in and of grace.

Some common objections are often voiced to this preaching of grace. Some may say that it sounds like I’m dissing the Law. Not at all! But we do need to understand why God gave the Law and what its purpose was. Scripture holds the truth.

The law doesn’t save. It doesn’t produce righteousness. It does not impart life. It does not sanctify. The law is not evil or wrong, it is indeed holy. So what is its purpose? The law shows us our failure, our inability to obey God’s law. But rejoice with me for as we see our sinfulness, the more we see God’s abounding grace!

What does it mean to you, to be ‘dead to sin and alive to God’?

I hope to journal my thoughts here, as I explore the purpose of the law. If you have enjoyed these few posts so far, feel free to pop in with a quick comment or subscribe to this blog.

Grace- For the Homeschool Mum

Have you ever wondered what ‘grace’ has to do with the homeschool mother? Grace is a word often used but what does it mean and how does it relate to us?

Are you fulfilled in your walk with God? Are you doing enough to deserve His pleasure and acceptance? Is reading the Bible a duty, a chore, a bore or a pleasure? Are you reaching God? Have you searched for Him and found Him? Sometimes we can get caught up in a vicious circle of trying harder to deepen our walk with God, to reach Him, to please Him, yet we end up tired and weary, closely followed by a feeling of failure and disappointment. (Or am I the only one who has experienced this?) What is missing in all this? Is unfulfilled striving all there is?

The bad news

There is a wrath awaiting us! Yes, it is true. Couple this with the fact that there is a Holy God, in whose presence we cannot be, and you find ourselves in a terrible situation. No matter how hard you work at being or doing good, no matter how much you try to avoid sin, you still, in and of yourself, can not avoid the wrath nor can you enter His presence!

Now for the good news!

The believer knows and accepts that Jesus the Christ has made a way possible to avoid that wrath – through Him we can gain access to God’s presence. Not only does Jesus rescue us from that wrath, not only are our sins forgiven but He bought a place for us – so we can stand in a place of total acceptance and security. So, it isn’t what you know, it is WHO you know. It isn’t our doing or being that was able to attain this. It was all by his grace…all by His favour that we did nothing to deserve.

Now that we’ve been accepted, forgiven, rescued by grace, we need to learn what it means to live in grace. We not longer have to try and reach God. God reached down to man! No more striving. Wahoo!

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37

Living in Grace

Do you live in victory or in that vicious circle I wrote about above? Early in my walk as a new believer, I would set my feet to making resolutions. I wanted to get closer to God, to be used by Him and other fairly noble but misguided thoughts. These thoughts would lead me to going to the front of church during the altar call, repenting (again) and asking forgiveness (again) and making yet another commitment or resolution to do better in my efforts at growing as a believer. Within a few weeks or months I would be back again at the altar, repeating the same action. Oi voi! What a trap! What an unfulfilled path to tread. Where was the victory that Paul speaks of in Romans 5:17 and 2 Corinthians 2:14 In another post I’ll be looking at Romans 5:17 and Romans 7. It is very interesting and I gleaned a lot from it. I hope you will to.

How do you define ‘the gospel’? What does the Good News mean to you? How has it impacted your life? Are you living each day in the knowledge of God’s saving grace, knowing that God is not pleased any more or any less by your works? Are you living in the victory of the cross of Christ?

Whatever your heart clings to and relies on is your God.
~Martin Luther

Teenage Rebellion in the Homeschooling Family

This post was in response to a thread on an email group. The discussion was about the high incidence of teenage rebellion in homeschooled children.

Sadly, I think there is a lot of myth and fear surrounding the teen years, especially amongst home schoolers. We don’t need to stick our heads in the sand and only discuss that which we want to hear- we need to know what is happening.

Big Questions

I believe that there comes a time in everyone’s life where they start to examine and question the big issues of life: why are we here? Who put us here? What happens when we die? Our answer or thoughts to these questions make us do the things we do.

We want to teach our children these things that we have taken on as belief and faith. We do teach them. We homeschool so we can spend more time with our children, building the relationship, instilling values, etc

There comes a time when a child starts to question those big issues of life. That isn’t wrong- it is necessary if one is to grow and be an individual person (a child of God), rather than a sheep. I see this as a transference of faith– where the child may start to take responsibility for their relationship with God. They are able to go directly to God for themselves and not relying upon their mum or dad. (Of course this is when some parents start to get concerned as that relationship may appear different to their relationship with God)

What happens if this taking ownership of faith does not happen? Well, it still may shift but instead of relying upon Mum and Dad’s faith, they may rely upon someone else’s: their boyfriend, husband, pastor, friends, magazine, tv, etc (The enemy is vying for the heart of all and is actively working toward gaining it via any means). They either take ownership of the faith they were raised in or they transfer it and take the beliefs or faith of someone else.

I think that we make a grave mistake in looking for any kind of formula. We think that if we homeschool, then our children will turn out okay. But then we have to homeschool a certain way or it won’t ‘work’. We have to avoid this, avoid that, do this, don’t do that…Oh, it’s all so hard – so many rules.

I believe that many of us deeply believe that there is a formula:

1 child + homeschool = Success

I also believe that many of us believe there is a recipe for failure, and it looks like this:

1 child + school = Failure.

Oh, I know that when we see it written so boldly like that we don?t agree that we think that way but?when it gets down to the heart of the matter it is often what is in our heart.

A Matter of Grace

Raising children is a matter of grace, in my opinion. It isn’t about a formula or a recipe. Whether or not a person realises they’re forgiven and walks in it when they are 15 or 45 doesn’t change the fact that it’s all about GRACE. Salvation is a work of grace and after all, salvation is what most of us desire for our children more so than simply the appearance of right living.

If one does follow recipe number one : 1 child + homeschool = Success, then I have to ask, is it about them and their parenting methods or is it about God’s redeeming grace? We need to know and accept that we cannot obtain our child’s salvation! (Having accepted that we can start getting on our knees)

We can lead them to Him, lead them in the ways of Him…teach them all about Him, and teach them to obey us as parents…but that internal work of the heart – to respond to God and obey Him is not within our control. We are the messenger, the herald who proclaims the message. The onus is on the hearer to hear and obey.

So what can we do?

We can pray! We can proclaim the message unabashedly! We can live by example. We can train in matters of outwardness. And we can hope.

There will come a time in their life when they question what they believe…it might look shaky for awhile but if the foundation is solid (that foundation being the message- the message of the work of the Cross through Christ) then we can be assured that God will indeed graft them into the vine and call them His own. They will start to see this as their faith…their belief and not just that of their parents. This is a most BEAUTIFUL happening!!!! Truly wondrous!

I have met and had the pleasure of knowing a few Christian young people. Young ones who have a desire to serve God, to serve others and have a great relationship with their parents and siblings. Yet, they were not taught at home. They attended schools. Both public schools and private schools. Upon talking to their parent’s, I came to see that there are some common denominators: Relationship, time, love, acceptance, gentleness, firmness, boundaries, laughter, etc.

However, I still think we’re missing something in all this. It’s all too easy to look at family and judge their efforts or judge the fruit by the 16yo. However, I don’t believe that we can or should do that. I have heard it said, and I believe it to be true, that our true test of parenting isn’t seen until we watch how our children parent. How do our children parent our grandchildren? That’s when we see the fruit of our job.

We can’t look at a 15yo, who is mulling over the big issues of life and struggling with it (which can be a normal part of maturing into an independent adult), and judge a family by that! In the same way, we can’t look at a family who has an obedient and God-fearing 16yo and assume that they have it altogether, thereby desiring to emulate their parenting. We don’t know where that person will be when they are 30, once away from the watchful eye of parents and responsible for themselves. So often we look over the operative word in Proverbs 22: 6 “when he is old”, not when he is a teen.

I was speaking to a beautiful elderly man a few weeks ago at church. He had previously preached and I thoroughly enjoyed it and learned things. His son is an assistant pastor at the church (the elderly fellow isn’t a pastor) and preaches…just not quite as deep and insightful as his dad 😉 Anyway, we were talking about parenting and John and I questioned him about his parenting approach, as we usually do when we see the ripe fruit 😉

He encouraged us to do as much with our children as we could- to teach them God’s way, to love them, to laugh with them, to be firm with them and to not get too hung up over the teen years. He found out we home-schooled and was encouraging about that but he just kept saying the same thing:relationship! His children went to public school. I know of others who have sent their children to public school and they have grown to be productive fruits in the kingdom of God, serving Him with their lives.

I believe we’d do much better to study and learn about how God parents us! For He is the ultimate parent! How does he love, teach, guide, command us? What does He expect of us? Then as we relate our parenting from God, we may be parents after His own heart.

So with the whole rebellion thing…gee I went down a garden path there eh?

What do we really mean by ‘rebellion’?

Do we mean that the children haven’t adopted our way of thinking in every aspect…do they not adhere to ‘our’ standards of dress, music, etc or do we mean that they have discarded (turned their back on) the ways of God and His word?

Ah, it’s truly a big question I believe…and one that would be good thought and discussion for Australian homeschoolers as home education continues to grow and develop in this country.

As for me, I’ll keep praying for my children… I’ll keep living according to Micah 6:8. Keep proclaiming the gospel of Christ- salvation by grace through faith. And keep building relationships with them so that when the days of questioning come, they will see the Jesus living in me and know that Jesus is the way.

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

A Sabbatical Year in Homeschooling

Last year I was tired and weary from eight years of learning at home with children. (We withdrew Miss A from school and began testing her in late 1997)

In 2006 I had planned to start afresh with a new plan, and I was trying to gather enthusiasm for the new school year. I had blogged about it all, and one thing led to another and I decided to take a year’s Sabbatical. The entries and thoughts are scattered throughout this blog so I thought I’d compile them in one place.

It all started when I was studying ‘Rest’ and Sabbath in the Bible.

I’m going to try something a little different this coming year!

December 28th, 2005

Usually I pray and ponder and peruse all the curriculum catalogues so that I can plan an approximate guide for each of my children. Late last year I roughly planned out the years for each of the children until they are 16years old. It was a very loose plan with lots of room for delights, interests and purposes. I then broke that down into the various years. I had planned to break that down even further and map out what things we would do this coming year but I’ve decided not to! I’m going to try something different. Instead of the 4 P’s (pray, ponder, peruse and plan) I’m going to focus on the 3 R’s. No, not Readin’ ‘Riting and ‘Rithmetic but…

Rest, Relationship and Refreshment.

I want to rest in God more and lead my children to do the same. I want to focus more upon relationships than ever before and I want to make sure that we have quality times of refreshment amidst our life of work. I don’t want to always be striving toward the next academic goal nor feeling good about achieving my goals. I just want to rest in God. The practical implication of this is that I won’t be planning, rather I will record what we have done each day. Each of the children will have their own recording journal, which we have designed ourselves and had spiral bound, (Learning Lifestyle Journal) and it will cover the following areas:

SPIRITUAL LIFE ~Bible reading, study, worship, prayer, fellowship, devotional readings, journal writing
LIFE SKILLS~ Chores, serving others, life skills
RELATIONSHIP/CHARACTER~ Relationship to others, God and self. Exercise, sport, nutrition, hygiene, personal development, health
ENGLISH~The art of communication – copywork/dictation, grammar, poetry, writing/composition, spelling/vocabulary, literature
MATHEMATICS~ Problem solving, thinking skills, logic studies
SCIENCE~Nature study, typing/technology, study
HISTORY~Past people and events. History and biography
GEOGRAPHY~ people and places of the world. Government, Economics, Foreign Language
WORLD VIEWS, CURRENT EVENTS ~
CREATIVE ARTS ~ Music, art, crafts, drama, Shakespeare, instruments, and other creative activities
AUDIO, VIDEO, TV & DISCUSSIONS~ Things I’ve discussed or learned by listening or watching

There is also room at the bottom of the page for student notes or comments and parent notes or comment. Maybe I’m becoming more this way the longer that we do this [learn at home].

I’m tired of seeing myself as a homeschooler! We are a FAMILY! And that is how God designed us to be. Academics are one part of life and so much of it can be done within a different time frame to what we (as school-ised parents) know of. I don’t want to “measure my success” by the amount of Table-Time that we have or the amount of books that we read or how structured or unstructured we may be.

The New Year came and I still wasn’t getting excited:

January 19th, 2006

I’ll confess. I’m not jumping up and down with excitement over lessons (school) this year. Nope! There was a time when we would visit Officeworks and stock up on all manner of new stationary and papers and binders and filing systems but (this is the beginning of our 9th year) I can’t even gather some motivation to do that at the moment. There was a time when I would devise some great plans but not this year- we’re just plodding on from where we left off. I love making plans though and if I must say so myself, I’m kinda good at it too. However, it gets really tiring seeing those plans NOT become reality due to one reason or another (usually called “real life”) so I decided not to make any fresh plans or schedules. Years ago, I decided not to make New Year’s Resolutions for pretty much the same reason yet it took me awhile to realise that the same thing happens with my lesson plans.

So, we’re easing back into lessons next week but we’ll start slowly. Bible, English and Reading Aloud and Individual Reading (Yes, I still have to insist upon individual reading for some of my children) will happen first and then once we are rolling with that, we’ll add Maths, Science and History and just keep going from there.

I have tried all of my usual tricks in order to find some motivation or inspiration and it just isn’t happening! Yes, I know that God has called me to this job and that in Him I can do it, but I’m still weary. I want to keep pressing on toward the goal but I’m still tired. I’ve read articles on burnout and while I usually glean something from them, I’m not this time round.

Last year I thought about the possibility of a Sabbath Year- one year every seven years spent in just *rest* before God. No striving, planning, feeling driven, etc. but to simply REST in Him. Yes, I know that this can be a daily process and it should be, but I also think I need a Sabbath Year.

Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart. – Psalm 27:14

I thought about this last year and decided against it BECAUSE I was scared! Scared that my daughter is getting older and couldn’t find the time to have off but I realised that be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

So, with our Sabbath Year this year I’m committing to NOT striving or planning, but to just *live* and rest in the author and the finisher of my faith.

By July 23rd, 2006 we were midway into our Sabbatical

Here we are midway through the year, and it’s time to look back, to assess and take stock of how things are going.

In January of this year, I decided to have a Sabbath period. I called it a Sabbath year but later changed it to a Sabbath Season. I was content to take up to a year but didn’t want to be bound by that. The point of this Sabbath Season was to not strive. Not to plan. Not to be so consumed by homeschooling. To not feel so driven most of the time but to relax in Him. To focus on relationships. I knew that this should/could be the way of learning-at-home but it wasn’t reality for me. Not really.

So, where are we now six months later? What have we been doing? Surely we haven’t just been sleeping in late each day and doing nothing? No. As I had posted we really have been focusing on the 3 R’s – Rest, Relationship and Refreshment.

Yes we’ve been moving interstate, having visitors stay with us and going away for softball trips but we’ve also been doing some things that could/should/would be classified as lessons.

How is this different to what we were doing last year when I thought that God was directing our home? Well, it’s the same but different. The change is in *me*. I didn’t realize exactly how many layers of self I had wrapped up in homeschooling- but there’s a few. A few years ago, I thought I had given it all over to God… that He could do what He wanted with me and that I had died to self and let go of my ideals. And I did do that. However, I believe that there were still parts of it, my goals that had to be given over to God. I’m learning at a deeper level what He means when He says to commit our ways to Him.

So far this year, we have read history, science, done maths and English, watched many movies and had great discussions on the nature of man, practiced real life skills, trained our physical bodies, and implemented new chores and routines. But more than that, we have spent more time in God’s word- reading, studying, immersing ourselves in Him.

It’s not that we have stopped learning how to write or spell or do maths… rather that I don’t plan and wring my hands with worry. We simply pick up the lesson where we left off and if this means that we don’t do maths for 2 or 3 weeks then so be it! It isn’t going anywhere, and we’ll get back to it one day. Meanwhile, there are other things for us to learn or do.

I have been pleasantly surprised at how much my children have been able to achieve independently WHEN THEY ARE READY. Oh, I used to try and have them read this and that… to do this report and that essay but it was a bit of a slog. Now I see that as they are ready, (and I’m watching all the time to see when the time is right) they are able to go through 3 -4 times the amount of work that I could have taught them. But the added bonus is that they have done it themselves and so they taste success in doing something themselves.

So where to from here? Learning-at-home is a marathon, not a sprint. Maybe if I only had the one or two children at home I could do academics with 100% focus but I don’t- I have four beautiful children. This means that it is truly a marathon… the long haul. It has to be a lifestyle for it to be sustainable (for us). This means that I approach the educating of our children a little differently to someone who is homeschooling for a year or so or until high school. This is our 9th year (at time of writing), and I have approximately another 7-8 years before my youngest son finishes yr 12. It isn’t about ‘resting’ and not planning for another 8 years. It’s about not being consumed by that planning. It’s about truly trusting in Him and committing my way to Him.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

This Sabbath Season isn’t meant to be just for a month or so, for me. Rather it is to be the way we live for now, until the Lord directs us differently. This will come too, I think as there is a time for work and a time for rest. But on a much smaller scale, I’m even finding this to be true WITHIN our Sabbath Season. There is a time to focus on spelling, on maths, on history, etc. but I don’t need to focus on them every day, every week, every month. Seasons – what a gift from God!When I wake in the morning are my thoughts about curricula, lessons or history or are they on the Lord and how I can best serve Him this day?

What I have learned from our Sabbatical Year

November 25th, 2006
Well, it’s getting on toward the end of the year, which means a new year is coming. I’ve had such an interesting journey so far this year, and I’ve chronicled it a little on my blog but in scattered bits and pieces.

It all started when I pursued my own study on the Sabbath (Nov 2005). I decided to try focusing on the 3 R’s for 2006- the new 3 R’s – Rest, Relationship and Refreshment. Jan 2006 saw me not too excited about lessons this year so deciding to have a Sabbath Season.

We moved interstate in May so we had to ride the waves of moving. Throughout this I was becoming more interested in getting fitter and I realised something about our home and family, from reading Body for Life. The book talks about hitting high points and efficient workouts, etc. Gee, this sounds a bit like my homeschool- instead of wanting to do lessons and booky stuff all day every day, I want to do our lessons efficiently, hit some high points AND have a life! In July, I was having such a good time that I decided to take stock of the year so far: and in August I started to formulate our recipe for success or not!

Throughout this time of Sabbath I have learned a lot about myself, the nature of Man, the nature of God, how we learn, etc I also learned, in a whole new way, that people will learn what they need to know, when they need to know it.

So where to for next year?

I’m getting a little excited about planning for next year but with the lessons I’ve learnt firmly in my mind.

Our focus will still be on the 3 R’s.

Rest, Relationship and Refreshment.

There are so many books that we haven’t read … books that I know we won’t even get to read … lessons that I haven’t done, but that’s okay! The important ones have been read, the important lessons have been discussed, relationships have been nurtured and the curiosity that is essential for learning has been kindled. Whenever I start to look at how much a child hasn’t done, I stop and look at how much they care, not how much they know and I’m left feeling content.

My family dynamics have changed a fair bit over the last 12 months, and I’m looking forward to a new season of working with my boys. The girls and I have always loved learning about history- it has been our favourite subject, but the boys are more interested in geography and science. Science is something I’ve tried to almost avoid but I’ve even been writing a unit study based on a Willard Price book in preparation for next year. My goal is to bring John to a level where he will be able to work more independently so that I can spend a little more time with ‘Master C’ . I want to streamline the basics so that we an all spend more time in God’s word and learning according to their delights and interests.

We’ll still have interruptions as we’re probably moving again in May, and with two girls working part time and youth group, and ‘Miss A’ ‘s softball this means the waves are starting get a little bigger, but that’s fine because that’s life! It’s how we know we’re alive!

So I’m excited about switching focus to a new subject (science) and teaching my boys, which is totally different to teaching my girls. I’m excited about teaching and showing them God’s word … ahhh, much to be thankful for.

Postscript

All in all our Sabbatical Year was a beautiful opportunity to learn about many things in ways that we hadn’t before. We tried new things, we tried new ways of doing things, we rested, we were refreshed and we were ready to start the new year (2007) full of energy. Most of all, I spent time growing in God’s word, gaining fresh and new motivation for the remainder of my days as a homeschool mum.

In the year 2006, the ages of my children were approximately: 15yodd, 13yodd, 11yods and a 9yods.

Does Your Child Read Aloud?

Is there any value in having children read aloud? As tedious as it may be, it has tremendous value! I love books! I love reading and I like reading aloud to the whole family. But what about having children read aloud to us?

Having a child read aloud is recommended by teachers and experts (and deservedly so) as it has immense benefits such as:

diagnosing language and speaking problems,
building speaking skills,
developing hand/eye coordination between paragraph and page structure,
develops vocabulary,
stimulates the imagination,
encourages creativity with voice and, if practiced regularly, can help with self-confidence and esteem.

Whew! Reading aloud accomplishes an awful lot… so much for such a simple exercise. Exposure to good books will also assist later on in the years with creative writing and journal keeping. Some ideas for writing to read are to:

have the child write out your shopping list and then help you with the shopping,
read suitable sections of the newspaper with them,
create and maintain a journal with them – you write one day, they respond the next day. This provides them with positive feedback in a non-threatening way.

Start Early

While it’s never to late too start having your child read aloud, it’s never too early either! If you think about it, most parents naturally do it anyway. Think about reading those first baby picture books that have pictures of single words like Mum, Dad, house, ball, dog, etc. Parents point to the picture and say the word, hoping for some response from the baby. Then gradually the books change and start to include more Repetition and Rhyme. Small children love repetition and rhyme and it is really important to their development. They will enjoy memorising and anticipating what comes next in a favourite book.

I have my children read aloud when they are learning to read. It isn’t something that is burdensome, it’s quite natural. When I am reading their book or reader with them, I simply ‘buddy read‘ with them. I’ll read a paragraph and then I’ll ask them to read a short passage. if they stumble over a word then I will help them. The goal is to build confidence and develop skills and fluency not to major on every word or expect perfection. Over time, they are able to read larger and more complicated passages. This is fairly standard with new and developing readers. Sadly though, once a child is fairly fluent in reading, many parents stop requiring their child to read aloud. 🙁

Next we might read some short poems. Choose poems that tell a story, have rhyme and rhythm and paint a word picture. Your child will love them!

Then comes the short chapter books with simple sentences where we help our child to decode words and read entire short sentences. As they try to sometimes make mistakes, we are there to help them along the way:correcting mistakes and helping them deal with frustration and congratulating them when they get it right. Once the children are fluent and capable readers there is no read to have them stop. Simply choose harder books and challenge them! 🙂 You can move on to read difficult passages in the Bible using the King James version, unabridged classics, poetry and speeches.

Good Literature

Reading aloud fine works of literature (or fine speeches) is the basis for public speaking (oratory skills) and is especially good for older children and boys. My boys are verbal with each other but not necessarily with me and the rest of the family. They don’t give wonderfully verbose and detailed oral narrations yet I know that they have the knowledge so I require them to read aloud a fair bit- to each other, to me, to their sisters and we still buddy read. I have them read their Bible and poetry out loud.

I also use reading aloud as an elocution (pronunciation) lesson. My boys can tend to mumble so we need to continue to practice it. Plus, I’d like it to be a habit so that they will naturally read to their own children. So why stop it?

My boys do lots of their own reading as they are in the ‘building fluency‘ stage so their books are suited to their developmental stage. When choosing passages for them to read aloud, I try to make them according to their level and ability without being too hard, yet still challenging. I try to challenge my daughters though as they are capable of handling more.

I still have all my children read aloud! It is a skill that needs to be practiced. I find that if we’ve been busy (like moving house or holidays) and I haven’t read aloud even I stumble and sound ‘bitty’ for a few pages until I get back into it. However, I’m not super-mum so I won’t pretend that we do it every day. Like most things, there are times of focus and times when it goes on the back-burner.

Live It! Model It!

If we value books and reading then our children need to see it in practice. Why will they value reading if they never see us read? They may start to believe it is something that only children do, and in their desire for maturity, give it up!

Make sure your children see you reading a variety of writing.
Make sure that you read aloud a wide variety of literature to them (personally, I think the Bible is the best and most important).
As the children get older tell them why it is important for them to know how to read aloud well. Often older children respond well to knowing why they are required to do something- they’ll often give their best once they know what they’re doing it (part of assuming responsibility for their own education).
One way for older children to practice reading aloud with character and inflection in a non threatening way is to have them read good books to their younger siblings. Younger children will rarely complain about it and it is also a lovely sibling bonding time. This has worked well in our home.

I think the key is all about giving the children opportunity to practice something- achieve a good standard which will build their confidence, which has the roll on effect of continuing to build necessary skills.

Do your children read aloud? How is it in your family?

Feel free to share via posting a comment or writing on your own blog (just comment me and let me know you’ve posted so I can read your blog).

Learning with Different Ages and Levels 2

In the last post, I wrote about using unit studies in the homeschool. In this post (part 2), I want to write in a more practical way and show exactly how a unit study can be accomplished.

How can I plan a unit of study?
Let’s consider a unit on ‘Ancient Eygpt“, a unit that we spent several months on and thoroughly enjoyed. The older child could read a biography or (fictional) diary and then orally narrate to the rest of the family. Or, she could try a written narration or prepare a factual report on a character or event. The younger child could dress up and role play or act out a scene from a book. The family could make recipes or crafts, draw and diagram maps, watch videos and visit museums together. You may like to look at the diet of the people and subsequent problems (deficiency’s, illness etc), to the terrain and climate of lands explored, other cultures that influenced or impacted Ancient Egypt (now, there’s a long rabbit trail) and so on.

Some people say that this is too hotch potch for them and they would like a more chronological or systematic approach. Easy! You can study history chronologically and integrate your other subjects around that. Some people prefer to only use units for the Social Studies and keep Math?s and English (Language Arts) separate. This is fine too. Whatever works for your family.

Here are the subjects that I try to include when thinking of relating topics:

Bible, Literature, History, Science, Language or Vocabulary, Independent Reading (Fiction and non-fiction, biographies, diaries), Composition or various forms of Narration, Poetry, Copywork, Applied Math, Foreign Language (if at all applicable), Art Appreciation, Music Appreciation, Geography, Current Events, and craft or hands-on activities.

Maybe an example will help you too see what it can look like.

Ancient Egypt

Bible (Joseph & Moses),
Literature (Golden Goblet, Mara, Daughter of the Nile)
Poetry – Ozymandias
History (culture and times of Ancient Egyptians)
Narration of reading and other learning
Applied math– structure of pyramids
Foreign Language– (hieroglyphics) No, I’m not kidding
Art- Ancient Egyptian artwork and architecture-reading about it and trying it yourself
Music – instruments and celebrations
Geography– ancient – modern -drawing/tracing maps including landforms and landmarks.
Craft– dressing up, making Egyptian style sandals, Nile River models, model pyramids.

Now, if all this seems too complicated, let me assure you that it isn’t. Your local library should have plenty of books on these topics. Just have them in the lounge room and let the children peruse them and be prepared to go with their excitement! One thing I find that kills this excitement is a feeling or sense of “Quickly, let’s hurry up and finish this topic so that we can move on“. That sentiment is really like a wet blanket.

If you?re a beginner at incorporating subjects you could just try to start with a few simple ones. Choose a family read aloud to go along with your history study and look at a good book that relates to the artwork or architecture of the period. That’s it to start with, but I can fairly confidently assure you that it won’t end there. History and geography go well together and from there you can start to add in art, music and literature.

I hope this encourages other homeschooling families, to live and learn together.

Go to Part One | Part Two

Susan 2002

Learning with Different Ages and Levels

Homeschooling Multiple Ages…

(first written in 2002)

Do you have each of your children doing separate studies? Do you long to have a more natural family oriented approach to your homeschooling journey? How do you homeschool with more than one child, and all at different ages?

Firstly, the most important point is to visit the Throne Room! It is good to be able to listen to others and be willing to adapt and change our own ways but what suits one family, may not suit another. It’s good to always consult the Lord God before running off with new ideas, no matter how good they may seem.

It’s good to always consult the Lord God before running off with new ideas, no matter how good they may seem.

As I said earlier, each family is different and each needs to seek the Lord for their direction. Some common threads that seem to work for most families are to have some sort of schedule. This might be to attend to ones own chores (bedroom, hygiene etc) and then make the house reasonable presentable. I don’t mean spick and span because we’d never get around to lessons, but we at least need fresh coffee cups!

Lessons often take around 2-4 hours, varying with the different developmental levels of the children. Afternoons are often taken up with music practice, library visits, grocery shopping, visitors, gardening, business needs, ministry, reading or community services just to name a few. Sometimes your high schooler may need to work in the afternoons to finish assignments or study. Other families with a baby find it easier to do some lessons with the children in the afternoon, when baby is napping.

Don’t forget to foster the attitude of servant helping in your older children by asking them to teach the younger children.

Don’t forget to foster the attitude of servant helping in your older children by asking them to teach the younger children. It can be very beneficial for the older child to have to explain a concept over and over in a variety of ways to a younger brother or sister. ‘Miss A’ , my 11yo helps John, her 7yo brother, with his Maths? and phonic instruction and sometimes he just doesn’t get it. She has to then think of other ways, which she may not have thought of before, to try to help him understand. This builds the families relationships as well as cementing in the older child many valuable lessons. Lessons such as, not everyone is the same, and we are all different as an example. As she must ponder the basics it is also being reinforced in her own mind, which we have found extremely helpful. Try it!

I must say from the onset that Miss Mason was not totally in favour of units or unit type of studies. However, Miss Mason was in charge and responsible for a school, not a family. God has placed me here, in this family to work to His Glory and that is what I am to seek.

I always keep that in the forefront of my mind. My situation is very different to that of Charlotte Mason?s. I am a wife, a mother of 4 blessings, a homekeeper, laundress and all those things that fall into the domestic realm. These things I do alone, with the help of my servants like the washing machine, dryer and microwave etc. However, I wear many hats and homeschool teacher is one of them.

So, considering this, I asked myself- is there any value or merit in units? Yes, I believe so! If we were to follow a boxed curriculum I doubt that any of my children would be studying the same thing at similar times. I think that for me, this would spell *burnout* with a capital B. I don’t believe that we need make a unit study out of everything. Sometimes that can lead to overload. However, if we were to use the eldest child as the (yardstick) then all of the children could end up having a liberal education but with the benefit of studying together. If the eldest child is studying ‘explorers’ in history study, why can’t the family all study explorers? Keep in mind that we will never teach our children all that they will know. Is that the goal though? Or is your goal one of instilling a love and desire of learning and equipping them with the skills to be able to research whatever they wish to?

Keep in mind that we will never teach our children all that they will know

A lot of boxed curricula appear to approach learning with a mentality of “just put in the facts over a 12 year period and then voila! Down the track, out comes a “well educated” individual. If only life were like that, it may work but I’m sure that we know differently. Textbooks aim to cover *everything*; all the vital and important facts that everyone ought to know. How many students know these all important facts at the end of Year 12 and continue to remember and use them in their later life?

I must admit the scope and sequences look very impressive and the Education departments may like them too. It can reassure us, as parents that our children must be learning a lot, learning what they should be at the right age. However, in the scope of an entire lifetime, what does it all really mean? Does this scope of study necessarily mean the child has a desire to know more or does it assist in creating a curiosity about things or does it simply help the student to pass the next exam?

I would encourage all new homeschool mums to take upon a theme and linger over it for a period of time. Your child and you will be learning much, much more than just one subject. You could use a scope and sequence chart to check off all the areas that you have studied but the ticks may not be nice and neat straight down the page. They will be all over the place, from Kindergarten to Yr 12. Have a really good look at a scope and sequence of a science or history program. How many times are the topics repeated? They are, supposedly, building concept upon concept but they are designed for a school system, not a homeschool system.

In all this, I’m not saying that you must ignore your state requirements or authorities. If, for example, your state requires that your student must study astronomy in grade 5, then go ahead, by all means and study astronomy along with the whole family! In a unit approach your families learning can become a way of life! It can assist in building curiosity and independent thinking in the children (and maybe even yourself). Learning can become more meaningful. No longer need the children cry “Oh, what does this have to do with me? Why do I need to learn this?” Most importantly, you can all learn together. Your child will learn more about true education by watching you, than sitting through a hundred dry texts.

In the next post, I will continue my thoughts and look at how we can practically go about using unit studies in the homeschool.

Part One | Go to Part Two

Living by Rules

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.?

Ephesians 2:8-9

Law. Rules. Trying to live according to them. Does funny thing to people eh.

Here in our city, we are heading into level 5 water restrictions, due to the dams being at 20% capacity…it’s not a good situation. People have made many changes to the way they do things, good changes- our family has tried too. One of the things not allowed is washing the car with a hose although using a bucket is permitted for now. Now our family is not big on washing the care regularly but our car, which is parked outside, has been getting ‘egged‘. Now if you know anything about ‘egging’ you’ll know that not only does it smell disgusting and look awful but it can damage the paintwork of the car thus devaluing it. So, after being egged again, John grabbed some warm soapy water in a bucket and cleaned it all off. What I don’t understand is some of the looks he got from the neighbours. Maybe they thought he was wasting water and looked down upon him for that. Who knows?

For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.
Galatians 2: 19-21

I noticed some things about myself in all this. I desire to be obedient…to live according to His ways. His love, His grace that He poured upon me compels me to obedience. Nevertheless, sometimes, somewhere, I start looking at my own obedience and then I look at others around me. It’s so easy to stand on the outside and look in…and question why someone else isn’t living according to the same rules. I know that when I do this, I’m no longer living in grace but my own performance is driving me. I can’t even be obedient without stumbling into sin. Oh what a wretched creature I am. Oh what a marvellous and gracious God is he!

For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it? the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.
Romans 3: 20 – 25

Lord, help me to not look at others in any other way than how to serve them…help me to live according to Micah 6:8. I thank you for your grace…thank you that I have been crucified with Jesus and that He lives in me.

The Stages of Learning

We don’t use grade levels in our home. They are distracting and quite irrelevant. The labels of grade/year level can be of some use but I prefer to view things in stages of learning, rather than grades. Stages of learning is much more individual and personal, allowing for uniqueness to shine in the various subjects and topics of interest.

There are three definite seasons (or stages) in the learning process. They sometimes dovetail with each other and they do not follow a chronological timing. Once an awareness of these stages is understood then knowing how to move on with the learning process is made easier.

While there is a transition that occurs when a child enters from a ‘Collecting Knowledge‘ stage to the next stage, ‘Understanding‘. I actually believe that it is the next stage (Wisdom) that is very important and most enjoyable…and the one that we parents, need to recognise.

Collecting Knowledge

(Introduction to ideas)

In the Collecting Knowledge stage the child is young, curious and eager to learn as much about the world and the people around him as he can. He is taking it all in, observing as much as he can. This is like the first building blocks in his educational foundation. It is in this stage that memorization is important. The basics of English and Maths may often be learned by rote during this stage, but don’t expect them to completely understand it – it is the ‘collecting knowledge’ stage, not the understanding stage, regardless of how it may look to a first- time parent. (In our home, we prefer to memorise beautiful literary forms like God’s word, poetry and various worthy selections of literature, rather than dates, names and events that will one day perish.) This is a time, a season of preparation. The planting of many seeds that will one day bear fruit. Children need exposure to the best things in life via the modes of reading, hearing , seeing – experiencing with all the senses. This stage often is around the K-3 range, although all children are different and may accelerate at different rates.

Understanding Information and Ideas

(Digging Deeper, Examining and Elaborating)

The next stage can start to become apparent around grades 4/5 and developing to around grade 8. After the child has some basic information and rote knowledge in his mind, he is able to piece together those fragments, to make connections of his own…this is when he starts to understand that knowledge…to participate in that prior knowledge. As he matures, this processing of knowledge also starts to manifest itself in the form of discernment. The basic subjects are still studied but it is the student who will view them differently this time around. He will not only know the basic phonographs but will be able to discern when they apply and why. The same concept applies for Maths and History, Science, Geography, etc. The material need not be much different than the earlier years, which is why unit studies and literature based methods are wonderful for many large families, but the student is able to receive and process the information at a different level. Here is where you are watering the many seeds that were planted in the previous stage. This is where exercises or activities such as comparing/contrasting, discussion, debate can be helpful, within reason and under the authority of a parent. Time is also a big factor during this stage. Children need lots of time to think, to process information, to ‘join the dots’. This stage or process can’t be rushed. Knowledge and Understanding are starting to work parallel—toward the next stage.

Wisdom

(Application or sharing of information)

This next stage usually occurs from grade 9 onward through to grade 12, although individual children are all different. (Are you getting the idea that this is all a very individual approach?) It cannot come before knowledge or understanding as the two stages go together to form the ‘Wisdom stage’. Building upon knowledge and understanding/discernment, the student is able to make choices, form opinions, express ideas and thoughts that are based on knowledge, understanding and wisdom. Of course, as Christians, we believe that true wisdom comes from God and so a relationship with God is important in this stage. The later years of this stage are where you begin to harvest the fruits…of course we continue to see this over the course of their lives. It is in this stage that we most desire to see some quality output of some type – creative output of some form, performing,, discussing, writing, etc. Here is where we apply all the information that we have collected, the relationships we have made, the ideas we have connected with, in a meaningful and helpful way.

Do you know someone who is knowledgable in a subject or an area? Do they parrot information or do they actually understand the topic? Are they able to apply their knowledge in a real way? Are they able to coherently share their knowledge in that area with others?

Many people have knowledge of the Bible yet know not God. Others may have knowledge of the Bible, may understand how the Church should operate, how to live a Christian life yet have not wisdom. Wisdom is what we desire most for our children to grow and develop into.

All children, youth and adults go through all these stages when trying to learn new material. These are seasons- there is a season for everything.

Seasons

Natural times of growth

Think back to when you were first considering learning at home. There may have been a seed planted in your mind or conscience. Then, through some discussion or reading those seeds were watered. For some, this process can take longer than others but that’s fine- it’s the way it should be. Then you start working through homeschooling, tweaking schedules, buying curriculum, trying every new idea that comes along before you come to the Wisdom level where you are more confident in your knowledge and are able to express your ideas, opinions and knowledge of homeschooling in a concise and clear manner. (Harvest) You know WHY you are doing WHAT you do. I have been on my own journey of education, through all of these processes or stages, over the last 10 years. There are some aspects of home education that I may finally be entering into the Wisdom stage and other aspects where I am still in the knowledge stage. It doesn’t matter- I’m on a journey of self-education and it’s fun! But, the point is, it is education…I have tailored my education to suit me, based upon the natural stages of development and learning. Oh, that we should do the same for our children.

Just as a child’s knowledge level of one subject may be greater than another subject, so may his transition into the next stage- Understanding and then Wisdom. I believe that an Identity-Directed Approach accommodates and allows for this even more so than a structured, grade leveled approach. It is, I believe, important not to try and rush each stage lest you end up with prematurely grown plants whose root system in not deep or fully established.

There are particular methods for learning about a subject which fir perfectly with the stages of learning. It is called the 4 step learning process and is beneficial for all students, regardless of age or aptitude. If you follow this link, you’ll see how it all ties in together.

The 3 R's – Rest, Relationship and Refreshment

Usually I pray and ponder and peruse all the curriculum catalogues so that I can plan an approximate guide for each of my children. Late last year I roughly planned out the years for each of the children until they are 16years old. It was a very loose plan with lots of room for delights,? interests and purposes. I then broke that down into the various years. I had planned to break that down even further and map out what things we would do this coming year but I’ve decided not to! I’m going to try something different. Instead of the 4 P’s (pray, ponder, peruse and plan) I’m going to focus on the 3 R’s. No, not Readin’ ‘Riting and ‘Rithmetic but…

Rest, Relationship and Refreshment.

SPIRITUAL LIFE ~Bible reading, study, worship, prayer, fellowship, devotional readings, journal writing…

LIFE SKILLS~ Chores, serving others, life skills…

RELATIONSHIP/CHARACTER~ Relationship to others, God and self. Exercise, sport, nutrition, hygiene, personal development, health…

ENGLISH~The art of communication – copywork/dictation, grammar, poetry, writing/composition, spelling/vocabulary, literature…

MATHEMATICS~ Problem solving, thinking skills, logic studies…

SCIENCE~Nature study, typing/technology, study…

HISTORY~Past people and events. History and biography…

GEOGRAPHY~ people and places of the world. Government, Economics, Foreign Language…

WORLD VIEWS, CURRENT EVENTS ~

CREATIVE ARTS ~ Music, art, crafts, drama, Shakespeare, instruments, and other creative activities…

AUDIO, VIDEO, TV & DISCUSSIONS~ Things I’ve discussed or learned by listening or watching…

There is also room at the bottom of the page for student notes or comments and parent notes or comment. Maybe I’m becoming more this way the longer that we do this [learn at home].

I don’t want to ‘measure my success’ by the amount of Table-Time that we have or the amount of books that we read or how structured or unstructured we may be.

BRING ON THE NEW YEAR!!!!!

Leaving a Legacy

One of my favourite verses in God’s word is Deuteronomy, chapter 6. I particularly like Chapter 6: but that’s only because of the surrounding verses. The writer of these verses is Moses.

I’ve heard many people say that they wish there was a? handbook or guidebook for this whole parenting caper. But there is!!!!! It is the Bible!

I wasn’t raised a Christian although my mother converted before I came to know the Lord so I say that my mother is the first generation Christian. It began with her :-)? She started to live out her life in God in front of me…and I picked up on that passion. I think that a possible danger for me is that I may become complacent in the living out of my faith and thus my children will become that way or even acknowledge God’s commands but not live in the fear or love of the Lord. Oh Lord, create in me a clean heart…keep my heart drawn to you.

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Back to those young adults…

But God is a big God.

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Reflect

What do you collect?

Is there an area of your life that needs to be de-cluttered? Meditate upon this verse throughout the coming week.

Parenting From Fear

Lessons Learned

Having a Vision for Family

Opportunities

Older Children

A Time for Beauty

Keep Daily Rhythms

Getting Back Into It

Rethink Relearn

Do you have any tips or advice for homeschooling through tough times?

Having a Vision for Family

Opportunities

Older Children

A Time for Beauty

Keep Daily Rhythms

Getting Back Into It

Rethink Relearn

Do you have any tips or advice for homeschooling through tough times?

Homeschooling is…

But

Homeschooling is also…

Homeschooling grows…

How To Find Purpose

Do you love me?

Feed my lambs

Follow Me (v19)

I am a homeschool phony.

“Can I go to school”?

I know because that parent is me.

I do know that God indeed has a plan!

And I know that I am never alone.

What’s your measuring stick?

So which is it?

So why do I feel like an odd ball when talking to other Christians about my ‘ daily quiet time’?

Is anyone else an odd-ball or am I the only one?

Exercise

Health Benefit

Emotional Benefit

Spiritual Benefit

Self imposed boundaries

Personal Freedoms vs. Scriptural Commands

Personally Convinced by the Spirit

Perceiving Weakness as Strength

Lifestyle

Living out Romans 14

Our Homeschool Journey

Some points that we consider and discuss:

We then go on to ponder:

Now we focus upon each child:

See more of Our Homeschool Journey

Recognising God’s Call

Prayer

Rest in Him, Listen to Him and Rely on Him

Recognize and Identify

Identity

Our Homeschool Journey

A New Chapter

Our Homeschool Journey

Our Homeschool Journey

Acronyms

General Abbreviations

Here are a few of my tips for beginning the homeschool journey.

Sacred Cows.