I’ve always felt a bit like a loner when a discussion turns to ‘Quiet Times’. I usually offer my thoughts as they relate to me and my relational walk with the Father. But my thoughts seem somewhat different to many other Christian women. Why? Am I a freak? I know I don’t have all my theological ducks-in-a-row but I know my Father.
Sometimes life feels as though it is against me. Dare I say it? Sometimes it feels as though God is against me. Yet I know this is not true. God isn’t my personal fairy God-father. rather, He is God and He allows the processes of life to cause me pain but He has not, and will not ever abandon me.
However, I’ve learned that I don’t have to try to have a relationship with my Father…He reveals Himself to me and reveals things about myself to me. He’s real in my life, whether or not I have a devotional time in the morning, the evening or in the shower!
I don’t want to play the game of religion. I don’t even want to play the game of Christianity. I want to know God and I want to walk with Him. There was a time when I felt secure in my life because of certain ‘religious’ activities, but God has been pruning these things out of my life, showing me how unimportant (and sometimes detrimental) they really are to relational living with Him. Instead of filling week nights with ‘worship’ practice, worship nights, writing Sunday School curriculum, leading Kids Club, being a puppeteer and a handful of other activities I am re-learning how to live in His love, to follow His voice and totally depend upon Him.
This is what it means to me when I say I am a believer, a follower of Christ. It means relational living with God, not one day a week nor several days a week at activities. Every decision I make centres around the Lord. Yet that is not to say that I get it right- far from it! But He knows my heart.
So why do I feel like an odd ball when talking to other Christians about my ‘ daily quiet time’?
I have never been one to use devotional aids. I find them contrived and largely artificial. I’m not one who religiously reads several chapters every day before breakfast. But in keeping with breakfast and eating, my ‘quiet time’ is akin to my diet. I simply don’t recall what I ate for breakfast 6 months ago. But I know it was nutritious and healthy and strength giving! If my diet goes downhill then so does my physical status after a time. Soon afterwards I’ll pick up again with my vitamins for it is this buildup of nutrients that will keep me strong and healthy – even in times of famine. (Not that we experience famine in the true sense of the word)
My Bible reading is similar: I may not read three or four chapters every day. I may not remember what I read several months ago…but reading the Bible is is pure nourishment for my soul. It is this buildup of nutrients that keeps me strong – even in times of famine or the dry, hard times.