social media

Not Allowing Social Media to Change my Agenda

When I wake up in the morning I start to plan the day. I say good morning to God, cuddle hubby and organise my thoughts. I plan my agenda for the day, considering what is flexible and what is set in concrete. Sounds ideal, right?

And. Then. I. Log. On…: Facebook, forums, blogs, etc. And it isn’t so much the amount of time that I spend online. It used to be, too much time online has often been a struggle of mine but not in recent years. The problem with it is that…

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My Agenda Changes

I am quick to put off the laundry for another day because I am chasing bunny trails that I’ve stumbled across online. I’ll research and ponder a THM or homeschooling question to help someone and this pondering can take a few hours or all day. In the meanwhile, my heart is everywhere else but directed toward my home, my family or what was my agenda.

I’ve always believed that we do best when we bloom where we are planted. That we have been put on earth in this time, in this place to glorify God… that whatever we do we should work at it wholeheartedly as if directly working for the Lord. And God put me here in 2014, with this man and this mish-mash of children. This is where I’ve been planted and should be blooming. That’s not to say I should never venture outside my door, or never develop interests, serve others, work, play or anything else. Rather that this ground is my first priority. For me, homemaking is the God-given domain of womanly authourity. It is not only my responsibility, but it has been and still is my place of influence and authourity. Visiting (online or IRL), studying, researching, supporting, helping and socialising are all necessary and valuable aspects of daily life but they shouldn’t be my first priority nor happen at the expense of my family or home.

And yet so often I have allowed the Internet to dictate my thoughts, my actions, my prayer life, my study, my time… I have allowed my daily rhythm to be changed, I have shifted my focus.

Moreover, as they go about from house to house, they learn to be idlers, and not only idlers, but gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not say and talking of things they should not mention.
1 Timothy 5:13

I’ve written before about daily quiet times. And no, before you click out of this page I’m not going to suggest that everyone should be up at 5am having a daily quiet time with God. I have been there and done that. I think that lifestyle suits a certain personality (maybe type A?) but it certainly isn’t easy to maintain with a large family who has a lot of emotional happenings, illness, depression or when one simply isn’t a morning person! Of course I dedicate my day to God upon waking – just like I cuddle my husband and think about the day, God is always present and acknowledged. How can He not be? But if I’m to give him the best of me, of my time and head space then it isn’t going to be the mornings. I used to be a morning person but that changed. Age, depression, adrenal fatigue, busyness, weariness may account for it but I am definitely not a morning person anymore. And I think He is okay with that.

Different Seasons

I’m also in a different season of life now. I’m not actively homeschooling as Falcon is 17yo and doing the bulk of his work independently. I am working part time, raising a toddler and well, life is completely different to what it was 5 years ago! I’m out and about more but consequently I am not online much at all. And I like it! I’ve noticed this particularly in this new season of life because I can see how much it affected me and my homeschooling life many years ago. There are so many things that I wouldn’t do differently if I had opportunity for a re-do… but this is an aspect I would love to do over again – no Internet until after the ‘must-do’s’ of my daily agenda have been tended to. Rather than decry the evils of the Internet and social media and how we should avoid it, I now schedule it. This also helps me to live more fully present in the moment as I’m not checking FB on the phone all the time.

Of course life looks different depending upon the season we are in. I loved being a homeschooling mum. Our choice allowed me to learn, grow and develop in so many areas, even being based at home and with children all day. I’m not suggesting that I should have never been online or had personal interests or friends. Hehee, that would be quite silly. It has been beneficial for me that I continued to learn new skills and gain knowledge whilst homeschooling. Now that my children are older I have many (far too many) interests and passions to pursue. Thankfully, my husband and I both agreed that continuing to develop spiritually, intellectually and socially was of great importance. However, these areas of growth shouldn’t come at the expense of a clean, tidy (level of tidiness varies for everyone) home where children are trained in character, nourished emotionally and physically and the hubby is loved and respected beyond a shadow of doubt. Simply doing my main priorities FIRST before I check online keeps my eyes on my agenda. Once I check social media, my agenda changes and becomes something else. All good, noble things but it still takes me away from my domain.

So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.
~ 1 Timothy 5:14

How about you?

Have you found scheduling Internet time to be beneficial? Have you found that being online early changes your daily agenda? Or maybe you have a tip to share?

Why Am I Online Today?

So many times I tell myself that I am working online. Or researching. Or writing. Or doing Bible study. Rarely do I say that I am socialising, chilling out, debating or pushing my own agenda. But if I am truly honest with myself, I do a lot of the latter.

Earlier on this week I thought about deactivating my Facebook account and disconnecting my email and social media accounts from my iPhone and iPad. I need to hear the voice of God. I can’t hear His voice clearly because there is so much mental noise screaming for my attention. That funny meme on Facebook, the latest discussion on AussieHomeschool… it all adds up to mental clutter. And I am feeling the beginnings of overwhelmedness. (I think I just invented a new word. Noun: the state of being overwhelmed = overwhelmedness). Whether or not I disconnect for awhile, I still need to re-examine why I am online in the first place.

What is my plan, my purpose for being online today?

What am I talking about with others? What is the point I am trying to make in my discussions? Am I pointing to Christ and trusting that God will draw others and then nurture them along into their own relationship or am I simply telling them what they should believe? Am I majoring on minors or am I pointing to Christ? Am I pointing another way to yet another religion or am I pointing to the One who is the Way, the Truth and the Life?

Susan, stop. Breathe, Susan. Hold back from typing, Susan.

Susan. Pray.

Father, I do thank you for placing me in this era, this time of 2013. God, you have put me here for a purpose and that is not simply to eat, drink and be merry but that I might point the way to you. Father, I want to use my time online wisely, to tell others of your great love and grand grace but I so often get caught up majoring on the minors. Help me to just shush, to be still, yet to be ready with words of grace. Help me and fill me with Your Spirit so that I might be ready at all times to tell of your goodness and your redemption. Father, help me to guard my online time and use it wisely – for your glory.

My Love Hate Affair

With Facebook…Why I Left It

I didn’t like the timeline.

I joined Facebook many years ago, when it was first opened to the general public. It was a lot different then. Actually I joined it, couldn’t figure it out so didn’t go back there for another six months. When I went back the second time, my account was still active and this time, I *got it*. I wa active on FB for years, posting this, that and the other. As you do. As much as I like social media I would always keep my eyes open for security and privacy issues.

Why Did They Have To Change?

Being a website developer means I completely understand why websites need to change regularly. I’ve posted on it before. It is usually for the benefit of the end user. But back in late September 2011, when FB announced their new changes I didn’t like what I was hearing. I believe they have an agenda. An agenda that I don’t like the sound of.

I understand the need for change. Yet, the changes that Facebook and Google (Yes, let’s not leave them out of it) make seem to push the settings toward disclosure, not privacy. No wonder we feel like we’re the frog in the pot.

Watching parts of the F8 conference (Yes, I must have too much time on my hands) shocked me. FB are targeting the younger generation, from 13yo upwards. Apparently, my age group is one of the largest demographics already on fb… they want to reach the younger crowd. Enter, the timeline. FB encourages us to build our personal profile, giving us the tools to do so. From birth to the present. That’s a lot of personal data on every user.

Previously when a parent wanted to stalk er, look up their child’s friends or boyfriend we had to scroll down the page, clicking ‘older posts’ to find possible incriminating info. Now, the new Timeline makes user data ridiculously easy to uncover. As a parent, I don’t mind this. But think of the possibilities for hackers, scammers or identity thieves!

They Gave Me Seven Days

I opted to test the timeline feature early so that I could learn about it. The more I played er, tested it, the more I didn’t like it. Oh it’s groovy and cool and neat but it’s a stalker’s playground. When trialling the timeline, FB gave me 7 days before my new timeline would go live. 7 Days to make sure all my previous status updates were set to who I wanted them to be with the new settings. Much easier said than done when one has been active for a few years.

I downloaded all my fb info (profile, status updates, etc) into a zip folder. I unzipped it and had a look. Wow, I didn’t realise exactly how much information I had shared, and I’m usually on top of things like that. There was no way I could go over several years of updates and hide things from the public view in 7 days. It would have taken a month of Sundays and occasionally I like to sleep and shower and eat.

So, I deleted my whole account. No, it was not a hasty decision but one I thought very carefully about. Of course, fb account deletion is not easy (why would it be?) and it takes 2 weeks before it is truly deleted, (if one believes that it is ever truly deleted).

Why I Went Back

I took a few weeks totally away from Facebook and survived (Gasp!). Then I went back to it and rejoined with a different email address and account. I have the timeline again, but with a fresh start. Now I know and expect that Facebook will indeed change their privacy settings. Previously I was ignorant. Now I know that they will… and I’m prepared for it.

Aside from having my website accounts there (AussieHomeschool, Kerugma and The DIY Bible Study) all of my children are on there. Now whilst I don’t need FB in order to keep in touch, (that’s what real life is for) I do like to keep abreast of security and privacy issues and scams so that I can inform them and guide them in using social media responsibly.

Where’s the Loyalty?

Hehee, as an aside, how safe can it be? Even Mark Zuckerberg’s private photo album was hacked and shared. If his private information isn’t safe on his own network, what makes me think that my information is? Facebook has been involved with some dubious practices before. Don’t take my word for it, do your own research.

What You Can Take From It

The Privacy/Tools page is where you can see how your profile looks to the public and see an example of what people see when they look for you using public search engines. Download a copy of everything you’ve put into Facebook, all in one, easy-to-browse file. Go here: facebook.com/about/privacy/tools and download your whole profile. Save it to your desktop. Unzip it. Open the files and browse them. Give it a go. What have you got to lose?

Training Children to Use Facebook for God's Glory

Facebook Training for Kids from Puritan Reformed on Vimeo.

Many homeschool families do not have an issue with facebook. Their teens don’t care much for it so there’s no problem. But not all homeschoolers are like this. Some homeschool families are very much into technology and social media.

However if, like me, you are going to allow your teens to be involved on facebook, this video gives some very helpful and practical tips for parents.

We have applied the advice he gives in the video. And no, my teens are not perfect and they probably have made a few mistakes. But I am there to see it and guide them through it. For us, this is a much better approach than total avoidance. But that’s us. You might be different.

How about you? Are you ‘friends’ with your teens on Facebook? Do you interact with them on their wall?

Oh! While we’re talking about Facebook, have you ‘liked’ my susanpriolo.com facebook page yet? I post lots of Scripture and interesting links and tid bits to it a few times per week.

Blogging Addictions? Blogging Balance? (by Robin Sampson)

Today’s post is not my own writing. It is from a dear lady, Robin Sampson. This article was a blog post and you can see it in real time over on her blog. While you’re there, you might like to subscribe to her blog and receive updates of all her new blog posts- it’s worth it!

This morning I read two blogs Susan recommended warning Christian ladies about blogging addictions. Those Sneaky Idols and Blogging: What’s Your Motivation? Both posts made several excellent points.

We can turn anything into sin if it’s out of balance or if we have the wrong motivation. Shoes, make-up, food, TV, sports, pets, etc. can become addictions or idols. Volunteer work at church can become sin when it’s out of balance (before family) or done with the motivation to win approval. Balance and motivation are the keys.

God Created us with a Desire for Relationships

Christianity is about relationships – relationships with God, and relationships with other people. Blogging or reading and commenting on a blog are ways to interact and develop relationships.

In Bible times women interacted daily at the well or gathering animals, etc. They also lived with extended families (grandma, aunts, cousins, etc.). Today’s American women are isolated and crave the company of other women. We don’t go to the community well each morning but we can go on the Internet.

Blogging and leaving comments are great ways we can encourage one another or bear one another’s burdens. There are going to be times when we just don’t have much strength and we need encouragement from others. God tells us,

Think of ways to encourage one another. (Hebrews 10:24)
…build each other up… (1 Thess 5:11)
Bear one another’s burdens. (Gal 6:2)

Encouragement is a special expression of love helping us to focus on God and resist sin! “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews 3:13.

I don’t feel guilty about blogging or commenting when it is in balance. My reasons for blogging are listed at Five Reasons I Blog. I need relationships. God made me that way. However, the first relationship I need is God. If my time is spent anywhere else before I spend time with the Lord, it is out of balance.

What About Blogging Awards?

Blogging awards are a way to tell others about a blog you recommend. No different than telling a friend you know someone she should meet–someone that is like-minded. I found so many special blogs, I created Spiritual Sunday Meme as a place to list encouraging links weekly. (HOW depends on word-of-mouth because we don’t have the funds to advertise.) Blogging awards shouldn’t be motivation but certainly can be an encouragement, just like comments. Again–balance and motivation are keys.

Our Most Important Relationship

We can only encourage others and bear one another’s burdens when our relationship with God is in order. When I fail to take in spiritual nutrition, daily Bread, I walk in my flesh; I am too weak to battle the fiery darts; I am too weak to take every thought captive.

But when I take the time to read God’s powerful Word I get strength and wisdom. It is only through this essential two-way communication—prayer and Bible study—that we build our relationship with God. And only then do we get the strength to walk in His ways, resist temptations, and gain the wisdom to make the right choices that will affect our entire lives (and our children’s and grandchildren’s lives).

Max Anders said,

“It matters to God how we use our time. It is something which He has given us. We don’t own it. We are responsible to manage it for Him. It doesn’t mean we must always work. Part of our time should be used in recreation and rest, the development and enjoyment of relationships. But we must be aware of how we use our time, and use it wisely” (30 Days to Understanding the Bible).

If you are on the Internet to the point that you put aside Bible study, recognize this as a signal, like recognizing hunger pain as a signal to eat, that it is TIME for Bible study and prayer. Time is limited. It is like a handbreadth. Use it well.

“Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.” (1 Corinthians 4:2).

What do you think? Are you a good steward of your time? Is Bible study a priority in your day? Pray about evaluating your schedule and ask God to lead!

Blogging Addiction? Ironic Post

After my last post, I thought I’d do a quick quiz. Guess what? It’s official! I am not as addicted to blogging as I once was. There, I read it on a website so it’s gotta be true eh?

Actually, the only reason I scored 68% is because I know what I’m doing with blogs, not because I blog regularly or frequently. So I use RSS instead of manually checking individual blogs? Doesn’t mean I’m addicted…but it does mean I’m trying to be efficient with my time. So, I represent, resemble, er resent that score of 68%. 😉

68%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

How about you? Are you a blog addict? Here are ten signs that may indicate that you have an addiction.

Bloglines, Google Reader or some other RSS reader is constantly open on your computer’s desktop.
You tell customers/friends that you missed a project deadline because “some things” came up but in reality, you were blogging.
You periodically dream that you are blogging.
You get inspiration for new blog posts at the strangest times – in the spa, on the softball diamond, while reading a book aloud to your children, while showering… you get the picture.
Before blogs, you used to tuck the kids into bed at night. Now you check for unapproved blog comments before heading to bed yourself.
In order for your family to keep up with what’s going on in your life, they have to read your blog. Furthermore, if they want to communicate with you, they have to comment on your blog.
You have actually considered setting up a blog for your pet of which you would post the entries pretending you are your pet (weirdo).
You can’t remember dates for your wedding anniversary, kids birthdays, etc., but you know what your Technorati rank is.
You blog about anything and everything including bad meals, your pets, getting your car stuck in snow, conversations you have in the bathroom, etc.
Keeping a blog is no longer enough but you now have to record your every move on Twitter.

Nah, I’m sure I’m the only one who has experienced those things…none of you gals (generally my reader base are women) would know what I’m talking about eh? 😉

Downfall of Homeschool Blogging

I love blogs! I like blogging! I also love online forums and communities. I believe they have different purposes. I’ve often said that some people need to stop ranting on forums and get themselves a blog! Forums are for sharing ideas, resources, etc whereas I see blogs (within the home-school community) for personal sharing, ranting and raving and expressing one’s own thoughts, being as biased or straight forward as one likes. Your blog is your personal soap-box. Forums are a bit different and much more netiquette is needed.

B U T …

I believe that the blogging explosion has stolen something from community forums.

Think about your early days of homeschooling. Did you belong to an online forum, email group or online community? Did you receive help and support? After having received help and support are you now one who gives support? Have you noticed that as the blogosphere has grown the online community forums have diminished? How do you feel about this? How do you think newbies feel about this? ( I don’t have the answers – feel free to comment)

I love having my online home, where I can decorate as I like, rant and rave…write or not write! But, I will never give up forums…I love the combined effort that online communities offer. I started blogging as I found I was writing the same answers over and over again – it seemed more time efficient to simply put it in one place, but I know that many people prefer a more personal response – they prefer forums. So, I will continue to be a part of online communities – it’s my way of trying to serve others.

Blogging can be addictive.(It has it’s own dangers= the lure of popularity, to come up with ‘new’ information or thoughts, etc) To be a self publisher and see one’s own words in print – wow! Once one starts to post regularly the comments start rolling in…one can gain in popularity, get ranked in the blogging social bookmarking sites. It all looks rather professional really. However, there are dangers that every Christian needs to be aware of. Guard your heart.

Online communities offer something that the blogosphere doesn’t or can’t by its very nature. An online community can offer support, encouragement, information, resources, laughter, fellowship in the one place – from more than one member! Which means one can go on holiday and feel at peace- instead of worrying about the readers wondering when the next blog post will be written.

We’re created to be part of a community…and the blogosphere provides an online community – to an extent. But community forums are where newbies go for help first…

So I ask, why do you blog? Are you blogging for you or with the heart motive of serving other’s. Should the answer to this question change your actions at all?

Cleaning Up My Internet Habits

Moreover, as they go about from house to house, they learn to be idlers, and not only idlers, but gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not say and talking of things they should not mention.
1 Timothy 5:13

Many years ago, I read an article that convicted me of the sin of ‘needing to know‘. But you know what? Just because God taught me some things about that then, does not mean that I now have all my ducks in a row and that I don’t struggle in this area anymore. I do.

And something happened this week to show me how things get mucked up when I try to operate in my own strength and do things on my own.

I have a confession to make. I have been lurking around places, (read: forums, blogs, etc) simply to know what is going on. I have not been contributing to them, I just want to know. I have again been convicted that this isn’t any better than the woman that Paul describes as wandering about the neighbourhood, dropping in to say hello and finding out the latest goss. [ouch]

Its time for a cleanup- of my heart, mind and websites I am on. If I am not involved in some way with a person or site or blog (by praying for them or commenting them) or if I’m not serving them by responding to queries then maybe I ought not be there. I need to ask myself: Why am I here visiting this site? Is it to serve, to be edified, informed, to pray? If not, then I need not be there.

Lord, I am sorry. Teach me to keep myself busy with my tasks here at home instead of wandering ‘around’ getting into everyone else’s business. Forgive me for straying from your ways and set my feet upon the right path again Lord. Help me to guard my heart and mind, that in all things I give glory to You.