I used to write passively, weak and ineffectual. (The archives contain old posts that haven’t been revised.) It doesn’t grab anyone. It looks wishy-washy. Why should anyone regard what I have to say when I sound so unsure of myself, of my own thoughts? I used words like “maybe, perhaps, in my opinion, for me, your mileage may vary, I think, there is no one right way,” and other such atrocious writing. I wrote this way because I didn’t have hard and fast rules, my life wasn’t black and white. I assumed people would appreciate that. After a friend offered me encouragement and advised me to stop writing passively, I spent a few years learning to be a better writer whilst also learning through living life.
Yes, my writing improved. I stopped writing passively and starting using words that displayed more authority. The problem is that now, a few years later with more life experience under my belt, I have realised that my original self was fine! Sure I needed some writing help, and it was necessary for me to learn how to communicate more effectively, but my style of communicating was okay. I think I am returning to my former self!
Not much to say
I don’t write about every new-to-me idea I read about or every new health cure that comes from the beans that the Himalayan goat digested on the peak of Mt. Everest. Maybe my experience and my opinion will not suit you. And that is okay. In fact, it is more than okay. It is good. Because our lives are not parallel or mirror images. I’ve gone back to using passive words. Again I am saying, “if it fits, maybe, perhaps, and if it works for you“.
I now see that there are more than one way to accomplish a goal, to eat, to be healthy, to exercise, to homeschool, to worship, to study, to serve. There is more than one way to live right. And I am a true homeschooler/unschooler at heart. I know that people will learn what they need to learn when they need to know it. And that what a person digs for herself will truly be theirs.
Ready for Long Service Leave
I’ve been homeschooling for 16 years now. What have I done with my 16 year effort? Am I an authority on the subject? Have I authored a book? No and no. And that is not going to happen. Because I can’t give anyone else explicit instructions about anything! I probably should have written that book years ago when I was more sure of things but now I have had more experience I am less dogmatic on many topics, I think more deeply about them now – I listen to different ideas with the aim of trying to understand.
The more I’ve experienced the more I have learned. Since gaining life experience I have more questions and less answers. More pondering, which in turn, leads me to say less.
I love this post. I think it comes with age/maturity, the self-control it takes to speak less.. to admit you don’t know everything and your way is not the necessarily the highway.
Thanks for stopping by, Amanda. Yes, it does take self control to speak less – I’m not ‘there’ yet… but it is an ongoing process. 🙂
Humility and self control are very important and very very rare. It isn’t showing weakness, it is showing strength and wisdom not to insist we know everything and it should all be done our way.
Always lovely to hear from you, Jenny.