rulesI’ll confess. I’m struggling with writing online lately. I know what the Lord has done in my life and what he is doing in my life currently but I struggle with writing it in such a way that I will not be misunderstood or that may cause others to stumble.

I know that I will be misunderstood by some, simply because I am not the best writer and when communicating I rely heavily upon tone of voice and facial expressions as well as physical touch. I also rely heavily on knowing a little about who I am talking to, thereby being sensitive their situation.

I can’t begin to tell another person how to live, what decisions to make, the best way to homeschool their children, what to eat or what not to eat…so what can I write about? I can write about the things that I experience, the things God reveals to me and the changes He makes in my life…but there’s always the possibility that it will be misunderstood by some and that they will be led astray. Or maybe the freedom I have will cause them to stumble. Oi voi, what a dilemma!

Self imposed boundaries

There are things that I struggle with in my life. Some things I have even had to set boundaries for. These boundaries give me the opportunity for accountability…they help me to be strong in areas that I am weak. Rules, boundaries, safe-guards, guidelines, do’s, do not’s…call them what you will but they are boundaries nevertheless. We all have them. If not in one area then in another, sometimes known only to ourselves but we all have them. I believe that Christians have many of these self built boundaries…especially Christian homeschooling parents!

Personal Freedoms vs. Scriptural Commands

There are some areas which fall into the ‘freedom‘ category and some which are God’s commands. Clothing is one area, as an example. Dressing modestly is a biblical principle. Women should not dress to look as a man and vice versa. (I won’t go into lengthy detail as way too much opinion and study abounds on the ‘interweb’ already). Scripture tells us all we need to know. But man would like to interpret (or is that control?) and tell us exactly what it means… even down to the fabric, colour and length in centimetres! These things add burdens… yet Christ came to set us free that we may be controlled by the Holy Spirit, not man!

Personally Convinced by the Spirit

Many years ago, (BC: Before Christ) I dressed in a manner that was clearly set to impress the male audience. I know this not because anyone told me but because I know what was in my heart. After being a believer for some time, God spoke to my heart about the way I dressed. He did not tell me to wear dresses only or ankle length skirts only. He didn’t give me the tape measure and a set of measurements to abide by (which would have made it easy for me to try and fudge here and there) However, He did address my heart. Ouch! That was harder hitting! I had freedom to dress how I wanted so long as I followed the boundaries that He set in my heart. The Holy Spirit guided me. Just as He can guide other women. But I also know that God opens each heart at to different things at different times in their walk.

As a young Christian, I found it helpful to put boundaries on myself. These were not so much rules for me to follow, although they could be interpreted as such. Rather, they were steps or markers that I had put in place that offered me some accountability. I had to this because of my weakness in an area. I was weak so I put markers in place to help guide me. Naturally I noticed that other people did not have the same boundaries around themselves…for they weren’t as weak in the same areas as I was.

Perceiving Weakness as Strength

Strangely enough, someone in the youth group noticed my self imposed boundaries and thought this showed a deep spirituality. I was commended for my strong faith. Of course, being young and full of ego (okay, so I may not be so young anymore but am still prone to having my ears tickled) I lapped it up. How sad. What others perceived as strength and tried to imitate was actually my weakness!

Some people esteem some foods as better than others. And while no one actually says it, one can often be left with a feeling that some are more spiritual or holy because of their [self imposed] dietary lifestyle. While other people esteem certain days as being more holy than others. Scripture tells us that the weaker or less mature believers consider these things to be vitally important in the Christian life, while the strong do not place such importance upon those matters.

But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.
1 Corinthians 8:8

Lifestyle

Many new homeschoolers look to the more veteran homeschoolers and want to emulate their lifestyle. There are many reasons for this but amongst fear and doubt is also a certain sense of security. Yet it is false security as it is not found in Christ but in a lifestyle.

Boundaries may be necessary for an individual to put in their life (As in the case of an alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, etc) and I’m not disputing that at all. At times, these boundaries have been ropes of grace in my life. So long as I acknowledge that they are my boundaries set in place because of my weakness. I shouldn’t impose those boundaries upon others nor presume that they aren’t spiritual because they don’t have my boundaries. These boundaries are not freedom or liberty, but neither are they the ‘the narrow way’ nor does it mean that I am living a life of ‘greater obedience’. It may just mean that I am weak in my faith. The difficulty comes when we look at others and see their weaknesses and subsequent boundaries and mistake them for spirituality and we try to emulate that in our own lives. When we do that, we are not living as Christ called us to live.

Living out Romans 14

We need to be clear in using Scripture to divide what is holy, mature and ‘the narrow way’ and what is obedience, freedom and liberty.

I am fully convinced in my own mind of how I live. I try to not do things which conflict with my conscience. My faith guides me in matters of personal freedom but these matters are not the norm or the standard for the homeschool community or any other family. (As if )

I’m trying to be careful in what I proclaim from my blog. I can’t tell someone else what to do, (other than repent and turn to Christ) how they should teach English, what method to use, to avoid all meat or cover their head or observe every Saturday as the Lord’s Day. The difficulty with sharing my daily walk online is that it may be fine for people who follow my blog or know me in real life. But for those who simply stumble onto the blog, they might read something, which can then be taken out of context, and use it in a way that does not bring freedom.

Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.
1 Corinthians 8:8

It’s one thing to speak, knowing who I am speaking to face-to-face, being able to clarify my words if need be. It’s another thing to write, not knowing who will read it. If I can’t see the reader or communicate with them, then I don’t know if the reader is picking up what I’m putting down. I guess that’s concern that all believers face but I’m struggling with it of late.

Do you struggle with this too or have you reconciled it in your own mind?