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It’s a good question. Why am I am facebook? My husband despises FB… even that is an understatement. However it is important to not get caught up in social trends rather to know WHY I do the things I do. It’s important that I be deliberate and intentional in the online world.
I first joined many years ago… couldn’t figure it out so left it. Then I went back to give it another go. Being that little more familiar with it the second time around allowed me to understand how it works and see its potential. But that doesn’t tell you WHY I joined. I could see it was going to be all the rage. If it’s going to be the ‘in thing’ then chances are that one of my children will want to use it… therefore I wanted to know what it is all about- just like I know a little about tumblr, formspring, myspace, linkedin, bebo and all those other social networking sites. As a parent who allows their children onto the WWW, it is my duty to know where they hang out. I want to be realistic. The Internet is not going away, it’s here to stay. Like it or not. Same with facebook. If it’s not FB it will be some other site.
Stalkbook
Yes, I spy on my children. I stalk them. And the point is…? Why wouldn’t I? I’m careful about their ‘real’ life and their online life is an extension of that so of course I would pay attention to it.
My family are getting sick of hearing this but facebook is not evil. It is a tool that can be used for good or evil. It can’t make me lazy but I can become lazy by avoiding work and being on FB. Is that FB’s fault or my fault? I actually find FB to be a lot like a mirror- it reveals things about people. And about me. Many people who only know me from softball may be surprised when they see me on FB, talking about faith, the Bible, natural health, homemaking and current events. But that is me- it is who I am.
But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
~Hebrews 3:13
Nobody really wants nor needs to know that I plucked my eyebrows or burnt my new saucepan. And I think that kind of sharing is not only superficial but truly time wasting. Despite what others do and the media may tell you, FB is not only for uploading embarrassing photos and doing stupid things. I try to use it by encouraging fellow believers of the promises and the character of God. Sure they ‘know’ it but being reminded is never a negative thing.
“I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have”
2 Peter 1:12
Worldview
Friends know that I am a questioner. I want to know why. One of my favourite sayings is “know why we do what we do”. So at times, I ask questions. Sometimes these questions aren’t ones that I am struggling with- sometimes they are designed to see how or WHY others do things the way they do. I like to know if other people understand WHY they celebrate Christmas in the way that they do… or WHY they spend money on the things that they do… or WHY they eat healthy food when it’s hard work.I know it challenges people… but it challenges myself even more.
Developing relationships
I’ve found it to be helpful and effective for relating with my distant relatives. Why? Because it is neutral territory. They are free to be themselves and not put up a facade. My extended family has a long history of h*mos*xuality and drugs running right through it. God worked in the life of my mum to break this cycle and she was the first believer in her family… my dad and myself followed. Therefore I am ‘friends’ with some fairly *colourful* people on fb, as in real life. I know this has shocked a few people but FB is one neutral venue where some of them might actually listen/read my posts. I do not live as a separatist… my faith is not isolated and my life has many non believers in it. Yes, I live in the world but am not of the world. I know that many fellow believers do not agree and I’m fine with that. That is their life and God may have called them to it. Most of my fairly think I am a religious, goody-two-shoes nutter. But they still visit my profile 😉 I have had some fantastic, deep, gospel-filled discussions with colourful people on FB… discussions that I wouldn’t have had at church or in the street.
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
~1 Thessalonians 5:11
I’ve also shared (given and received) health information, homeschool information, photography tips, Internet security advise, homemaking tips and recipes on FB.
Sure, technology should not replace real life contact and relationships but really, isn’t that obvious? There are negatives to FB and other sites… but to adamantly avoid FB whilst spending hours perusing other blogs and loitering in forums is no better. Common sense is needed. Always. There is a lot be wary of and to be careful of with FB and any other social networking site or blog…. we should always use our common sense and realise that nothing that is anywhere on the Internet is ever truly private. There are still guidelines and netiquette to be observed. I would not want to hear of a major idea or event from my children through FB; a quick phone call is much better.
Encouragement and Information
All in all I use FB as a way to encourage others, to receive encouragement, to learn about others so that I can love and care for them. Now if we’re talking Twitter, that’s a whole ‘nother story. I just can’t seem to get into it yet I know that others are blessed by it. Maybe I’m just too verbose for tweeting? 140 characters? Come on! That is just unreasonable. 😉
Permissible… but beneficial?
Blogging is great and there are loads of benefits but it isn’t always the right time in one’s life to get into blogging. Same with online forums… or FB. This chapter of my life sees me with older children so life is much different than when the children were younger. Honestly, I don’t know how some mums of younger children do it! I used to get sucked into forums- they were like a black hole that just gnawing away at my personal time. I became a mum where the *lights were on but no one was home*. You can read about it here… If this sounds like you, let me encourage you to stop your online activity and ask the Lord to renew your heart. He can and He will. I know.
Mind you whilst it might appear like I have ‘it altogether’ with this FB issue, I don’t. There have been times when I have deactivated my account and taken a FB sabbatical. I periodically cull my ‘friends’ list. I will ‘drop off’ the online planet for days or weeks at a time. Because real life and relationships come first for me.
If you do use FB or have decided to give it a go, head over here to Albert Mohler’s blog and look over his advice for social networkers.
Facebook is a tool … it can be used in a responsible way and give glory to God. How about you? Why do you use Facebook?
I recently got back on there too and resolved to not post anything whining – because I see so many others use it to vent. I am tempted to sometimes, but I have to remind myself that I am there to be encouraging, keep family up-to-date, and share tips and resources – the world is watching. I definitely see it as beneficial to sow seeds of Truth to others who many never hear of such things.
Hi Marisa, thanks for stopping by and taking time to comment. Oh I know what you’re saying. FB can be a place of dismal, depressing, angry, venting status updates- much like any mums group or any other group in real life. I’ve been to get together of non Christians (and even some Christian get togethers!) where the atmosphere of the group is awful. Well, I don’t want to add to that. I make a conscious decision to add positivity, brightness, information and general fellowship to my online time. Sometimes easier said than done.
Seeya on FB!
I totally agree with you, Susan. Yet, it is also wise to know your areas of weakness. If you struggle with conformity it can be too much to take.
I use FB in the same manner that you do and see it as an arm of my ministry, to be able to encourage, bless and communicate with people who wouldn’t normally see or hear about Jesus’ love. xx
Hi Bek, I agree and it’s not just struggling with conformity. I used to struggle with being emotionally absent from my home whilst being in it 24/7. Online forums totally took my heart. I was always thinking about or praying for a situation online… whilst my children would be off doing their own homeschooling thing.
http://susanpriolo.com/emotionally-absent-homeschool-mom-657.htm
Thank God He didn’t leave me in that place. 🙂
I decided to give up on facebook altogether after the birth of my daughter. Before we had even had time to tell most of our friends and some of our family, there was birth info, full name, and PHOTOS on fb. We had people we hadn’t told yet call US to congratulate us, and we never got to see peoples first reactions to our new baby, because they had already seen her on facebook. In fact some people didn’t even visit, saying they’d ‘already seen her’. I hate it, I feel like it’s become an invasion of privacy, and I know it dosen’t have to be like that, but our family don’t. My husband uses it in much the same way you do, but because of the usage around us I don’t like even that much.
I have reason to not want my photo connected to my name or my families names, I have an estranged mother and some more distant relatives, along with a past that I don’t want revisited because they ‘found’ me on facebook, but my photos are still up there on other peoples accounts. A couple of people I wish I didn’t know, and have broken contact with, know my brother in law completely independant of me. If they found out I am his sister in law… it makes me sick to think what might result. But I can’t do anything, they find my concerns silly.
This is just my situation, but it’s evidence that it can very much be used the wrong way.
Oh Abba1, that is horrid. And I know it’s easy to blame FB but really… it is the height of rudeness on people’s behalf, isn’ it? Manners and etiquette seem to have flown out the door and are scoffed at. Yet even in schoolyard squabbles, so much could be avoided if manners and etiquette were used.
FB actually does allow for a lot of privacy BUT the fb default settings are fairly open. Once you learn how to shut down your settings, it can give a lot of privacy. I am very picky about photo’s to upload and even then I WILL NOT tag people. I think it is quite rude. However, I let people tag themselves in my photo’s if they wish. I also have a setting turned on that disallows anyone from tagging me. I don’t wish to be tagged for everyone to see, thank you.
And manners- how rude of people to share a photo of you baby!!! Sorry if you think I’m being forward here but I think that is rude. Your baby is YOUR story to tell and share- no one else’s unless they have your permission. Okay, I’ll get of my soapbox now. 🙂
Aside from that- you had a baby! ★·.·´¯`·.·★ Congratulations! ★·.·´¯`·.·★
*sigh* I absolutely LOVE FB…..but I hate the person I become on the site. FB revealed some ugly things about me.
I have just made the hard decision to delete my FB account entirely and just stick to blogging and twitter. I know, I know, it’s just a tool….but for me it is bad news.
*sniff* I’m going to miss you FB……I really loved your post Susan. xo
Oh Jo, What a brave and wise decision. And whilst it may be hard (despite some people telling you it will only take a few weeks to get over – it may not) I believe your family will one day rise and call you blessed because of it. As Christian women, we are called to die to self and for you, this might be part of that process. Bless you dear sister. I pray that the Lord will fill the FB void with an abundance of joy, peace, love, friendship and productivity. ♥•♥•♥•♥
Thanks Susan, I just know that it is not my season to be online so much. I am looking forward to reconnecting with my boys again without being a cyborg!! {*lights were on but no one was home*}
I’m sure that when my boys are teens (and they are on FB) it will be different. But for now, I know I have made the right decison. As soon as I made the decision I felt a weight lift from me and my boys rejoiced! (Shows how much it was effecting me.)
I know I’ll miss FB, but that is part of motherhood…making the hard choices. Yes, I agree, this is part of dying to myself.
Thanks again for your encouragement. xo