Do you get sick of reading parenting books? I did. I’ll be honest. They get on my nerves. There are more different kinds of Christian parenting books than coloured jelly beans. How’s a parent supposed to know what to do? Ezzo? Pearls? Tripp? Barth? Grace-based? Law based? Where on earth does it end?
Good Information – Wrong Time
Sometimes reading books will actually provide us with information that is wrong at the time. We should not read parenting books BEFORE we have gone to God. Bold statement, I know. I used to read the books, arm myself with lots of information and then go to God, trusting that He would guide me in this parenting/homeschooling journey. Pfft! Talk about putting the cart before the horse!
Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
Ecclesiastes 12:12
Parenting Experts or The Parent?
Why do we continually go to ‘the experts’ when we can go directly to THE Expert? Why do we need a writer, an author to tell us when, where, and how to discipline? Is it because we don’t look to see The Father’s parenting in our own lives? It seems to be a superior attitude to me; that we don’t like to see ourselves as children when we are parenting our children. We separate or compartmentalise areas of our life. Sometimes we’re parents; other times we are children of God…yet the two are intertwined.
How did God treat me before I was saved…before I came to believe on His son?
How does God treat me now?
In other words…
How does God parent me?
I am His child.
When I see the way that God parents me I am more able to parent my children in love, in grace…with discipline as it should be – loving discipline. Discipline that restores, not tears down or breaks hearts. Every action the Father does toward me is one of restoration, although I don’t always see that at the time. But it is. That is His nature and I trust Him.
How do I parent my children?
How does God parent me?
The blessing of our relationship with The Father should have us teach our children in the same ways – not holding back anything that is good for them, not disheartening them with our requirements. As we are being taught by Our Father, as He disciplines those that He loves, He does not despair or get impatient when we are slow but He continues to work in our heart and mind and in our family by his grace.
Let us seek the favour of God upon our homes!
I’m with you sister :-)) My cupboard is overflowing in books that tell me how to live every area of my life :sidefrown: In my early years as a mother all I ever did was go to God for my direction in parenting. Then came the era of christian books! and of course we all had to be following the latest christian trend didn’t we :sarcasm: A couple of years ago I decided to put the “how to live your christian life” books away and ever since have only read christian fiction! I think my personal life has benefited from only having one teacher………the ultimate teacher 🙂
P.S. I am reading “The Shack” at the moment and keep thinking “Susan would enjoy this book”…… :-*
Acckkk! I have read The Shack Jacqui! I keep meaning to jot down a few thoughts about it…maybe this weekend I’ll actually get around to it. 😉
Thanks for your thoughts- they’re fabulous. I love it – The Ultimate teacher! We’ve really learned a lot through this whole learning-at-home journey, haven’t we sister? 🙂
Mornin’ Susan dear. :-* Thought I would pop in and say g’day.
The last couple of parenting books I have read, I found myself wondering throughout about the people writing the books. These are their ideas, that they believe have worked for their particular family situation based on THEIR OWN PERSONAL STUDY OF THE WORD AND RELIANCE ON GOD THROUGH PRAYER. A novel idea. Many of those people did the hard yards with their own families on their knees before God – and then it got me thinking, if I took a similar approach to parenting, maybe I could write my own parenting book. 😉 Just kidding.
Since I have begun relying on God for myself, and really working at truly trusting in Him; since I have packed away all my how to books and, like you Jacqui, begun reading about real people and their whole lives through good quality fiction and biographies – life with my family looks different these days. Better balanced I guess, and whole, rather than compartmentalised.
Oh dear Amy, how true, how true!
Ive learned so much more from people just sharing their lives (either in real life or via auto or biographical books) rather than the person setting out with the aim of teaching me.
Initially I wondered if I had an attitude and was being resistant, but I came to see that this is more natural – relationships…sharing of lives, just as, I believe, God intended.
Thanks for sharing ladies…you both bless me heaps by sharing here and on your own blogs. :chic:
Oh this is so true. Don’t you think that about A LOT of christian books though? If you flick through a Word or Koorong catalogue, there are a gazillion books to tell you how to deal with your kids, or your marriage, or your dog misbehaving (well actually I made that last one up :rotfl: ) – but I am soooooo tired of all of these self-help/improve yourself books.
I should say though that I’ve always been a bit of a rebel when it comes to “doing what everyone else does”. When I moved to the town I live in now, it seemed like EVERYBODY had done or was doing “Growing Kids God’s Way”. To be honest, if I had done that course, I probably would have ended up in a mental institution because my child is one of whatever percentage who programs like that DO NOT work for! Yet, he’s a gorgeous kid, and I appreciate his “spirit” and “attitude” for how God made him. 🙂
Okay, I’ve had my little rant now. Great post Susan. I think you need to move to WA!!
Love,
Fee xx
Hi Fee,
Well WA is a BIGGG state and Karratha and Darwin and Ross Island are a long way from anywhere lol…oh, did I mention Karratha? I’m trying not to think about it.
If only I had realized sooner.
When I was pregnant I read every parenting book in print. I sure did buy into some STUPID ideas. The Word is perfect (of course!) but there is also a lot to be said in the realm of parenting, for the older women teaching the younger women.
How much calm, sensible, practical advice did I NOT follow because it disagreed with all the “you will emotionally scar your child for life if you look at her the wrong way” psycho-hot air I had read. Crumbs! What a goose I was (blush!)
Time, and the grace of God, have taught me a few things, or I would never have survived to have more than one child.
Love it….did you read mine on parenting by the spirit…that our kids are under grace not the law…..hmmmmmm sheds a new light on family!!!
http://toomanyflowers.aussiehomeschoolblog.com/archives/358
Love ya….
I love this Susan. I have only just come to this realisation now of what you wrote about here. How do we parent? Like God parents us. Some great thoughts here. xo
I have quoted from this post in my post and linked back to you. I loved it that much. xo
Amen Susan. I used to feel guilty about not reading heaps of Chrisitan books—I no longer feel that way—have been released as I realised how a close relationship with Him is all I need. Books, and blogs, reflect more about where the writer is in their life walk. And all those words I have spoken in the past on emails groups—well, I can only apologise and pray for they didn’t/don’t do too much damage; that God covers my mistakes and blesses others with the truth.
Love Ya and loved the revelations and your words.
Hi Louise, I’m with you there sister… I cringe at times when I think of things I have written on email groups or forums, so I too pray for the covering blood. I have changed what I write and how I write because I’m learning and growing. Ah, thanks be to God for His grace eh?