I’ve sensed the change coming. I’ve prepared for it. And now the change is here. A typical season even has a different atmosphere during the beginning, middle and end of that season. And over the last few weeks we have been in the transition between the end of one season and the beginning of another. Whilst I don’t want to hurry these last few moments of this season I also don’t want to cling to it when the change from one season to another is a necessary part of life.
John and I have observed our son, continually prayed about his needs and decided that it is time. Time where his needs will be best met by going to school.
Long time readers may see how we’ve slowly prepared him for this new season. I’ve known this time was approaching. Our homeschooling approach has changed in preparation for it. We went from unschooling to using ACE paces to being enrolled in Open Access College. School seems like a natural progression for this young man. I know he’s ready because, for the first time ever, he is keen to go and is looking forward to it.
I have a great relationship with my sons. And I want that to continue. However, I was finding it more and more difficult to maintain our relationship whist being his primary educator. We both found it difficult to go from school marm who is dishing out consequences for assignments not turned in to the supportive, cheerleader, mum that I am naturally am. Our relationship was suffering because of it. That is the main reason he studied through OAC. I wanted him to learn valuable skills in the area of time and resource management. Skills that I simply was not able to teach him nor impart to him by myself.
The year at OAC was beneficial in a few ways. I saw how much he needed the structure, the one-one-one direct instruction, the consequences and the constant pushing. I can’t facilitate that at this time, nor have I for the last few years. So going to school is a natural progression – it’s what he needs in order for him to grow, develop and mature. He has had s solid foundation through his years of homeschooling and it’s time for him to have even greater exposure to the world in ways that will benefit him.
Maybe if our lifestyle and family circumstances were different, school wouldn’t be necessary to further his growth and development but it isn’t different. We are who we are. We don’t live on a homestead. We aren’t self employed. My husband doesn’t work flexi hours. We cannot employ our son in our own business. Some can and that’s great. It’s not our life. Rambo needs to learn further skills and develop tools that we simply cannot facilitate.
For Whose Sake?
It’s times like this that I have to remind myself of the real reason we homeschool. I ask myself, “For My Sake or For The Children’s Sake?”. Is this whole homeschool thing for them or for me? Having had one child attend school from Yr 8 onwards I know the painful process of dealing with homeschool mama pride. My life experiences have taught me that homeschooling is for our children, our family, for us. As long as I’m seeking the Lord and we are putting the needs of our children first, then there is no need for me to worry what others will think. and to do so is a form of pride. Time is too precious to waste on that. Been there, done that. Not going back!
Our goals haven’t changed over the years. They are still process oriented, not product oriented:
- Build and maintain relationships
- Develop the character of his heart
- Develop needed learning skills and a love for them
Not all homeschoolers have the same goals so I’ll try to expand on how the above points are our goals and how we used academics and curricula as a tool:
1. Build and maintain relationships
By working with the child, we grow in intimacy. Using curricula as the tool, I will demonstrate love, grace and patience, thereby building trust. Academics are not the sole priority here but I want him to see that he is much more important to me than forging through a workbook.
2. Develop the character of his heart
Through this time I hope to help my child recognise any wrong attitudes and learn how to deal with them, leading him to submission to Christ.
3. Develop needed learning skills and a love for them
I don’t adhere to any standards of school or state. I don’t follow a syllabus that dictates to me when or how I need to proceed with new disciplines or subjects. Rather, the Holy Spirit reveals my child’s needs to me and I trust that He will shape the approach and requirements for each child. I desire that Jesus Christ become Lord over our education, approach, methodology and processes of learning. Academics and education are secondary to that.
The Freshness of Every New Season
And so he is enrolled, has new uniforms and stationary and is excited to start in year 11 at King Grammar Baptist School. Even though I’m not the one going to school I am giddy with excitement too. We had a tour of the school and I had to wipe the drool from John’s mouth when we were in the Design & Technology rooms! Ah, all that guy stuff – the power, the tools, the equipment! It is a new learning experience for all of us but it was our decision to do what we believe is best for our son at this stage in his life. I am excited that I will be able to support him, guide him, have fun with him and all those great parent type activities (including the discipline, at times. I mean he IS a teen boy. Can you imagine the state of his bedroom?) without being his school marm. Yay!
I also have a fresh vision for Falcon’s education for 2012. I am excited to be able to do lots of one-on-one work with him. I’ll share more of that in future posts. Just imagine, going from a full family of 5 children at home to now having one child at home. Whatever will I do with myself?
Thank you so much Susan for sharing your heart and your words of wisdom, as you know I am going trough something similar although it isn’t my choice, God is still in control and he can see the bigger picture.
As for what you will do with yourself when homeschooling one? Well remember when you had one child and they took up all your time and you couldn’t possibly see how you would manage to have the time for two? Well, think of it in reverse and you will find one homeschooled child will STILL take up all your time
I appreciate your grace so much
Jenny
Thanks Jenny! Yes I’m sure I’ll find stuff to keep me occupied. A more likely thing to watch out for is that I don’t let my hobbies and work related activities dominate!
I love this post – you’re so positive through these changes.
All the best for your family, Susan, as your boy starts this new chapter.
I’m sure you’ll have PLENTY to fill up your days and weeks. 🙂
Hi Rebecca, Hmm, I guess I am more positive. I hadn’t really thought about it but in comparison to other years and other choices, well yes, I am more positive. And really, our attitude makes the world of difference! Doesn’t it?
I had always imagined this sort of progression with my boys, observing other homeschooled boys who did not grow and respond well to being full time at home “under mums thumb!”. Providence has kept my fellows at home and struggling with basics but I hope and pray that we can move with the changes over the next few years.
What will you do all day with just one child at home?? How quickly they grow up and leave the nest and suddenly we are reassessing what we are supposed to be doing. You, of course, should be taking it a bit easy at the moment. 🙂 Do hope this all goes well.
Hi Ruby,
Yes, being under ‘mum’s thumb’ has been an issue that I’ve been watching for. And as I said in my post, in many situations it may not be an issue but for us, it’s one that we watched closely. Not just for the boys sake, but for my sake too. Rambo is going to have exposure to many thing this year… some will be good, other maybe not so good. But we believe he is ready… this is another step in his journey to manhood.
As for me, I do have some plans, both short term and long term. That was part of the decision making process. I was eager and ready for the next chapter of my life yet it was not for the best that the new chapter started this year. And I’m fine with that. To turn a new page this year would have been premature. But yes, I am quite looking forward to the future.. In the meantime, I will also focus on my health and get up to speed.
Homeschooling is, in my opinion, very important for young children who are still so easily influenced without a solid base of beliefs and ideas in their lives. It’s also those early years that children truly need to be taught and can’t teach themselves efficiently.
But when a child gets older, reaching high school, if they have been homeschooled they are usually solid in their beliefs, they know what they think and why, and they also have the capability to teach themselves so an educational downfalling of the school needn’t hinder them as badly.
I certainly don’t think public school is nececary, in many cases perhaps not even preferable, but I don’t think it will be a negative on his life by any means. He has the groundwork, at some point every child has to face ‘the world’ unsheltered, now is just his time, and I’m sure you’ve prepared him well for it. We need to not cling onto the idea of homeschooling, but rather, of doing what’s best for our children in their personal circumstances. Some people might see this as a failure, but it’s not, it’s simply the next step for him.
Hi Abba,
exactly! I honestly would laugh at anyone would might think this that new stage in our lives is failure. Failure to do… what exactly? If my goal had been to homeschool all the way through then yes, I suppose I had failed. but that was never my goal. My goal was not outcome based nor performance based but process based.
Having a homeschooling mentality and having had one student in public school I really cannot see how or where Christians can be in public school. I don’t see that we have any place there, not for children. As adults, as teachers, yes but I can’t see the benefit for our young children. However, I know others strongly disagree so I’m not about to make a law out of it.
I am so chuffed that we found this Christian school. There are actually 3 Christian schools in our area, all within 5 minutes of each other, but we only like this one. 😉
Honestly, I wish we had known about this school last year as I would have preferred that option for Rambo. But such is life… not really complaining.
It sounds like an exciting time ahead!
What will you do? I reminded Mr BB just yesterday that when all the wee folk are off my hands, I will…
sleep in
go to art classes
play with my camera
eat my chocolate without sharing (have you seen what happens to a block of Lindt split SIX ways?!?!)
and generally luxuriate in having choices about my time.
You are not there yet, of course, because you will still have one left. But oh.. taste the freedom.. lol!!!
Start planning girl!!!
xx
Oh BB,
I have plenty to do although art classes are not part of it! Playing with my camera is. Sleeping in? With my ill health over the last few months I have been physically unable to do anything else and I hate it! I do not like sleeping in. Morning is the best part f the whole day, Why waste it sleeping? I hope to get healthy again and get back to my 6am starts.
Well done Susan! you’ve done well to homeschool him and you’ll do well in this new season too! I always say we are taking homeschooling a year at a time as I don’t know how the future will pan out for my dd and I, in the meantime we are enjoying homeschooling! some great wisdom here from you too…it’s for the children’s sake and not our sake 🙂
Thanks Rosemary,
Yes I think it’s important to keep our eyes on the goal – one of the goals being for the children’s sake. When one is online a lot (like I am) and actively involved in building the Australian homeschool community, it’s easy for our eye to wander from the goal and for pride to become the motivating force. That should never be the case but alas, we are all human.
Thanks!
Hi Susan,
I loved reading your post. As every family is unique so is the Homeschooling Journey . Yes your journey is unique to your family (just had to say that). I am as always grateful to you for sharing this part of the journey and new season with us. I really think that our children should get a chanceto go out into the world and put that foundation that has been laid to use, while under our guidance. Whatever way that happens.
I put my eldest in to AYCE this year. This was because of the deterioration of our relationship due to me being the Mom and the Teacher. I am so relieved and looking forward to just being Mum like you said ;). The younger ones will be homeschooled still but in a more relaxed way because I now have an idea of the path. I am looking forward to hear what you get up too and hear your son’s experience. I am sure it will be just the thing for him.
Karen wrote…
Yes, I agree Karen. I would rather my children start their journey into the world whilst still under my guidance as opposed to being thrust into the world without me there to help them.
So your eldest is doing ACE? By AYCE, did you mean Ace paces or something else?
Good on you for being proactive and putting relationship first! No point in homeschooling a certain way if it adds tension to the relationship and contributes toward the deterioration of the parent/child relationship. Goodness, there’s enough going on without us adding to it by being stubborn about such matters as homeschool methodology. 🙂
Thank you so much for your honesty in this post, I really enjoy all your posts. 🙂 You have such a freedom about how you see life and especially homeschooling, and I love that. We are going through a change of season at the moment, with 3 children and one due in April, I am already starting to freak out about how we will handle it all. We are homeschooling my eldest (in Grade 2 this year), but are maybe putting her in at the local Christian school for one day a week for some extra-curricular activities and one day a week break for me. My husband would like to possibly transition her to the Christian school full time next year for Grade 3, so that would also be a change of season for me. if we do. The next one due to start school is our son, Noah who would be in prep in 2013, but hubby wants me to homeschool him for a few years as he does not think he is ready for school. So perhaps I would be doing it for a few years with him as well, and having my eldest in the local Christian school. We want to give them a good foundation at home first before gradually releasing them bit by bit. We will see where God leads us. I hope this new season for your family goes well and is everything you hoped it would be. Blessings, Nina
Thanks Susan. I needed to hear it articulated like that.
Hi DoE,
Glad you popped by. I love having you visit. And I’m glad you enjoyed the post 🙂