It all started when I found myself on the cold, wet tiles of the shower cubicle floor.

so much to say image

Thursday morning started like every other Thursday morning since we’ve been on holidays. A cup of hot tea, my comfy chair, laptop and my man sitting right next to me. After doing the morning rounds on the Internet I jumped up and went to have a shower. I felt a bit light headed but that isn’t new for me, so I ignored it. I rationalised that I’d have a quick rest after my shower. I spent the next hour rationalising.

I didn’t quite make it to the end of my shower. The lightheaded-ness got worse, the walls were moving and the shower room floor cam up to meet me. When I came to, I felt weak and both arms were numb and I had tingly pins and needles running through them – from the shoulders through to the fingers. I tried calling to John but he was too far away and couldn’t hear my weak cries. I yelled but it came out as a pitiful yelp. I tried knocking against the glass shower cubicle but again, I was too weak for it to have any effect. All I could do was with lie on the floor until I regained enough strength to hoist myself up and out of the shower, slowly scrambling for the bed.

John was on the telephone (and as we all do when on the cordless phone, he was) walking around. He came into the bedroom to find me crawling halfway between the bathroom en suite and the bedroom floor, reaching for the bed. He hung up the phone and put me on the bed. I was having difficulty breathing, my arms were tingling, I was lightheaded and had a tennis ball in my chest. He didn’t waste any time and called the ambulance.

After resting on the bed for a few minutes I started to become more aware of where I was and what had happened. I tried telling him I didn’t need an ambulance. Both he and the ambulance telephone operator strongly disagreed. The ambulance was on its way so I should just lay down and shush. There was one huge, glaring problem that they didn’t seem to understand.


No, I was not dead nor paralysed but I was butt naked. Despite their reassurances and also despite the fact that I was a nurse (before children) this was of great concern to me. So I made myself slowly get dressed. Poor John was on the line with the phone operator telling him to MAKE SURE ‘she stays on the bed‘. He motioned and whispered to me to GET ON THE BED and I hissed with slurred speech through bared teeth the obvious statement… “I. AM. NAKED.”

Fast forward a minute or two and I realised that my teeth were not cleaned! I started to get up to find my toothbrush while John, the-ever-so-gentle tried pushing me down. I hissed at him again, “I need my toothbrush” and he rolled his eyes at me! Can you believe that? My husband rolled his eyes at me. Eventually he realised I was not going to stay still so he got my toothbrush for me.

Problem was …

My toothbrush was naked too! It needed toothpaste. It was about this stage that I realised that my darling, ever-so-patient-husband was actually running short on that quality – patience. There were were, he on the phone trying to talk to the operator whilst growling at me and running for toothpaste while I hissed at him with slurry speech. What a guy! Oh, not to mention the boys were running around not knowing what was happening and of course, as it typical in our house, the mobile phone was ringing right in the middle of the drama.

The paramedics arrived and the ambulance trip was rather uneventful. Everything was in full swing once we reached the Emergency Room and I was hooked up to machines, was poked and prodded with all sizes of needles and all the other excitement that is the ER. I was eventually admitted to the cardiac unit overnight for observation. Apparently I was supposed to rest.

Rest… in Hospital?

Hello? It is common knowledge that no one sleeps well in hospital. In between the hourly obs, the pinging and beeping of all the machines, the lights, the nurses station, the man opposite me who snored so loud I thought I was in a subway tunnel and the elderly lady opposite both of us who spent the night complaining loudly of the man’s snoring, how was anyone supposed to sleep? On top of that, I sleep on my tummy, at least that’s how I go to sleep. I can’t get to sleep in any other position. Yet with needles in me and monitoring cords attached to my chest I could only lay on my back.

I was released the next day with strict orders to go home and rest. Ha-ha, these people obviously have no idea what our family is like. Really. Rest? I’ll admit, it would have been nice but totally unrealistic.

Take Away Value

One very good thing came from this misadventure though. I was feeling at a loss as to Falcon’s academic lessons for this year. I felt like I just didn’t have it in me to go another year. Don’t get me wrong, he is a wonderful student, a fantabulous son and a pleasure to have around. I wondered if being at home with me was the best thing for him. But somehow during the whole drama I developed a new direction, renewed strength and vision for this year. After next year? Who knows? We’ll see when that time comes. But for this year I have the vision … now I just have to put pen to paper and organise some resources. I didn’t have a bolt of lightning from the heavens or anything totally miraculous like that. I just had a peace that this year is to be a season of focusing on Falcon.

I wish I had some profound wisdom to share with you all… a beautiful Scripture or quote. But alas! I do not. I am incredibly thankful to be alive … that I live to take another breath. I am more in love with husband today than I was yesterday. I love all my children and my dad to bits.

I’m here to blog for another day.

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Courtesy of Kathryn Estry-Words of Faith