A few years ago, I was told that my online persona did not seem to match my real life persona. Apparently, I seemed to give a different impression, a more ‘perfect’ or ‘ideal’ one through my online persona. I was shocked and disappointed but I now believe that it is part and parcel of online communication and I also believe that I have become a better writer because of that comment. However, it has stayed with me many years later and still affects what I write. For some reason many people are aghast to learn that we have many TV’s, watch Science Fiction and enjoy many movies! (I’ve often thought about writing a post outlining the ‘possible’ shocking things about me…who knows, maybe I will one day.) Would you believe that some fellow Christians have doubted the sincerity of my faith once they find out that I watch Sci-Fi. Others seem to take pity on me. Still others, see it as their duty to enlighten me to the truth of the narrow way, as though I have been a believer for over 20 years and never heard or considered ‘their’ ideas before.
Anyway, enough of the ramble and back to the point, which was…er I don’t really think there is a point to this post. Do I ask myself, “Why don’t those people do what I do?” Why don’t they choose XYZ [insert any choice here] instead of what they are doing? Why do they homeschool like that? Why do they dress in THAT? Why do they eat that? Why don’t they eat this? Why don’t they worship in XYZ manner? and the list goes on… (C’mon, surely you have thought these things too eh? Surely I’m not the only one?)
When I hear myself mutter these things I know that I am imposing my values, restrictions, choices or boundaries on someone else. Oh Lord, forgive my self righteousness and my legalism.
There was a time when I felt alone in this Christian walk. Not totally alone but I did feel like there weren’t many other believers like us. Maybe I even felt that there are too few who choose to follow the narrow way…that there aren’t enough other believers who are living in obedience and sacrifice. Well, didn’t I have to really seek the heart of God and ask Him to create in me a clean heart.
Legalism is not obedience. It is adding to obedience. It is not living in freedom and liberty. It is not grace. It is living in boundaries but not by the Holy Spirit. Often when we are writing on our blogs we can speak words of legalism to others. Most often it is under the guise of following the One True Way and all those other martyrdom sounding cliques but the boundaries, rules, ties and bondage it can put upon a fellow believer is almost, but sadly not, unbelievable.
So God has called me to homeschool? Great. But has He called everyone to homeschool? So God has called me to wear plain, brown, ankle length dresses only with no makeup or jewelery. Great. But has He called everyone to do so? Is it my duty to proclaim that this is what walking the narrow way (Christian life) looks like and if they are saved then they would do this too? Maybe to some, adherence to the strict lifestyle or ‘code‘ is the gospel…but not to me. What is the gospel that you proclaim?
(a) Jesus is the Messiah predicted by the OT prophecies. His ministry of teaching, his actions, his death, resurrection and ascension all comport with the prophecies, and affirm him to be Messiah.
(b) His death was God’s act to deal with sin. His resurrection attested to the effective power of the Cross, and affirmed Jesus as Lord over life, death, creation.
(c) Men and women must, therefore, believe his Lordship, believe on him, repent of their sins, and receive forgiveness from their Saviour, Jesus.
Oh how much better to trust in the Holy Spirit…to trust in the grace of our Father that He will produce the good work in us.
Whenever I’m in confusion over an issue or believe that I need to change an area of my life I pray. Pray and ask God to show me my heart motivation, to lead me and to show my husband if this is right. After a little time I will always go and seek my John’s counsel. He’s my husband, my man. He loves me and has my best interest at heart. And I trust that God speaks to him as well…speaks through Him. It isn’t that I can’t receive from God without him, it’s part of marriage.
I am thankful for all the bloggers and writers who share their life in a way that doesn’t smack of self righteousness. I want to be a blogger like that. I’m thankful for God’s word…and that He still speaks to us today.
“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12
Susan, I’m enjoying your posts. I’m not going to make any profoud reply right now, but i’m doing lots of thinking; lots of thinking.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts.
BTW I like Japanese Manga – is that as bad as SciFi or worse?
😯
Oh dear, Jeanne,
It’s worse…much much worse. :smug: But at least I know there’s someone out there who is worse than me. 😉
Only kidding dear. And I’m not really trying to be flippant about sin- rather what us (mankind), especially women, do with it and about it.
I’m like Jeanne, the posts today and yesterday have given much to think about. I do not have any profound statements to add but it is true that our personas are somewhat different on the net. I don’t see that as all bad. I like that I can think about something and say what I really mean, and think about its consequences in a comment or post. In real life situations, I tend to open my mouth before my brain is in gear. That can cause as much or more misunderstanding. It also means on biblical topics I ometimes give my reaction to a question without actually checking what scripture says.
I would never want to replace real life freindships and it is sad that some rely on the internet for fellowship. However, I am finding some true “kindred spirits” on the net.
I have a couple of posts about our responsibilities in blogging. They are under Blogging if you are interested.(one is called The Tangled Web we Weave)
You are doing a lot of thinking. God bless you Susan.
Hi Ruby,
Thanks for sharing our thoughts. I did check out your posts on blogging and commented them too! Thanks for pointing them out to me- great stuff and well worth the read! 😀
I love you Susan……you goad me to truth….in a good way…..
YOU ARE A BLOGGER LIKE THAT NEVER EVER EVER have I felt judged or condemned by you…..way way way on the otherside, you are a grace filled woman (no wonder) I LOVE YOU FOR THAT, you are free……..
Do you know (after reading your blog) I realise that I do not blog for me actually…..I blog for others who wanna know where we and I are at (news, happenings, my walk….) I wonder if that is wrong???? I am so used to keeping my walk to me and James i do not share much with anyone!!! No heart on sleeve stuff, well very little…….Anyway
I must be worse….my favourite and most spiritually impacting movie was wait for it The MATRIX…shhhhhhh. “Get up Trinity, get up!!!” My favourite saying when I feel like I cannot face the powers that wanna crush me to death, sure wish i looked like that in a leather suit!!
I just love the intelligence, the power over the world message AND the unreality of this world message….Is it real? Or are we in a matrix waiting for God’s kingdom to manifest
You are the best Susan, I just love you…..
Dear Cathy, The Matrix? I have tried to watch the movie twice now but keep falling asleep every time. It hurts my brain. Honestly, I’d like to watch it as many friends say it is a good story with strong parallels but it just makes me :yawn:
Hubby, My Man! acckkk, you commented on my blog. How cool is that. Tehee, I love that you’re a bit biased. :kissblow:
Amanda, my sweet friend, yes you say lots of truth and wisdom. You did ask if my recent posts were directed at blogging in particular and I have to answer in the affirmative but…but also on the Internet in general and in Real life. however, to try and clarify I have been struck lately with how many websites/blogs, etc are being set up and used with a point of ‘teaching’. The personal sites of sharing are on thing but some sites are being set up as ministries and are not so much sharing rather ‘teaching’. These are the types I have a little gripe about.
you wrote:
And naturally I agree 😉 but I can’t help but speak out…I’ve been a believer long enough to spot it and see it coming from a mile away but I hate to see younger believers falling for it- because of a deep desire to follow the narrow way yet never-the-less get sucked into legalism. And here is the dichotomy. I know and trust that God is sovereign and He will lead them into Truth (that’s my Calvinistic side coming out) yet I also know that we are not supposed to sit on our hands do nothing while others are tying themselves up in knots (is this possibly an Arminius streak in me? :sidefrown: )
I know why I blog and I desperately want to be real in my blogging, but I also desire to take care that my written communications reflect Christ in my life. Ah my friend, you have not missed the point to my post. My gosh, I’m rather chuffed that anyone could muddle their way through it long enough to try and see a point! You gals all deserve a coffee, made with love by my own personal barista. :coffee:
Hi Leonie– I agree! I know that a few life experiences a few years ago saw the direction or focus of my own blog change – from primarily homeschooling to real life. That’s not to say that homeschooling isn’t real life- of course it is! Rather that I couldn’t post about how to do copywork, how to read aloud, what to use for maths, etc as my heart just wasn’t in it anymore so to write about it would be a dreary chore. So over the last few months or so, there is less and less homeschool related stuff and more of our life, but with privacy. I love your blog. I love the way you write about anything and everything and are not restricted to just exercise, or just lessons, or just faith. 🙂
Thanks Precious People’s 🙂
I love SCIFI especially Star Trek but I especially love my wife, I think she is Extra Terrestial sometimes. I also think she’s a Blogger after Gods Heart. Love your work (but then I could be biased)
John
I hope I am not going to come across like I disagree with your post Susan, because I’m not. However, I just wanted to add something I think has merit…
We are talking about blogging aren’t we? The title of the last couple of posts suggests we are. So, in light of that, blogging is where my thoughts are directed in my comment.
I thought blogging was meant to be a personal arena? Do we blog what other’s want to hear, or do we blog simply to express ourselves, and our walk with the Lord (if we have one), and anything else that takes our fancy? Yes, I thought so… A blog is one place where the blogger can say what and when they please. How is it that we (yes, me included), have felt any restrictions or fears about expressing ourselves? Even if I offend another? I am not responsible for agreeing with everyone, and I don’t believe the Lord would have us stay silent if we have strong convictions in areas, for fear of upsetting someone. I don’t know where this bondage has come from, but I know it has affected me of late. I have clammed up and hence, my blog is no longer what I had intended it to be. Sure, we need to be wise, but silent and worried? No! Lord, free us from the fear of man! I know I need to pray about this one for myself…
If what I write offends anyone, they are welcome to not revisit my blog. If I write a theologicial view different to the next person, that should be ok. If I write something that sounds self-righteous, then that is also ok and it is also a reflection of where I am at in my walk with Christ. As our walk is as individual as the pattern on our thumbs-prints, I do think that we all need to be extending grace to even those ones. If someone seems to be on a legalistic path, then praise God that we are not, and pray for these poor bound ones!
I love the saying: “If your cage is being rattled, than you are in a cage.” I am not saying this disrespectfully, but rather it is something I say to myself constantly. If someone else’s beliefs or actions rock me or shake me up, then I have been learning to explore why this is so. Much like you did with the direct comment someone made to you about your on-line life matching your real life persona.
For me, I have been so weary of hearing this one’s theologies and that. I have become so tired of everyone’s opinion and convictions making my head spin. I have come to the place I have finally let go, and I am ‘free’. In fact I had done a post half-way through that journey, and out of ‘fear’ I didn’t post it. Sad eh? But it was my heart, and it was my cry but I worried about sharing it for the same reasons you have mentioned the last couple of posts.
Blogging has become a bondage and a snare, it seems. I believe you are coming to the place where freedom is coming back to you. Remember my dear friend, that what you ‘believe’ makes up who you are. Share without fear! If I get offended, then great! Opportunity for growth then. Of course, the same is true for everyone ~ even the self-righteous, the legalistic, and the head-to-toe dressed Christian. People can be very wearying and trying at times ~ I am glad that He alone weighs the heart of everyone of us…
Perhaps I have misunderstood the heart of your post. If I have forgive me 😉 However, I have really enjoyed reading and processing what I believe you are saying… I hope to grow through this too…
I think we blog as we are called, as we are. Some feel called to only blog the good, to only blog about homeschooling or the Christian walk or weight loss or..Some, like me, feel called to blog just about anything and evetything, good and bad, albeit with *some* code of provacy. There ARE some things I won’t mention to protrct privacy. I enjoy your blog and have enjoyed talking to ou IRL also. 🙂
Hello Susan.
Some of your thoughts reflected in your post have been similar to mine.
Personally, I’m quite mindful of my audience, because so many are strangers, some are friends, and there is also family. My children may also choose to read back my entries in years to come and I don’t want them feeling embarrased that I shared certain ‘descriptive feelings’ about our trials publically.
Yes, if no one agrees or doesn’t like my content, they’re happy to choose not to revisit, but hopefully my writing comes across to be friendly and informative. On the same line of thought, I’ve chosen to not be too personal as there are some things I’d rather keep in a written journal in my drawer rather than submit it to review in a public setting. As far as my beliefs go, I usually just state what we’re doing/believe within context. If it prompts others to ask me questions, I’m more than happy to share.
So, I guess I’m just sharing my rationale, realising of course that this is a very personal decision on what and how we write. So long as the intent is clear, I think it’s a rewarding thing to share the best of you. I think most would realise that being human, we will all have our ‘moments’.
All that said, I’m looking forward to reading some more of your posts. 🙂
Kindest regards,
alecat (Catherine)
Great post Susan!
I am afraid that I fall far short of many Christian’s expectations, but that is me and I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that it is alright to have my own opinion.
I was at Bible study the other night and a dear man mentioned that he liked the odd glass of red wine. He must have had a moments regret after saying it because then he added “ahhhh, only for the taste, not for the affect or anything……….mumble, mumble, stammer stammer”. I smiled to myself as I thought how funny we must sound to God sometimes.
Just take the mask off and be yourself and If I disapprove then I won’t come back to your blog!!
Hi Alecat (or Catherine, which do you prefer?) Thanks for stopping by- your blog is gorgeous! I’m also conscious that my children’s lives are shared on my blog. I mean, it’s one thing for me to share MY life, my thoughts but I do need to respect their privacy- not so much now when they are still young but once they get older.
Jacqui ~ Love ya! 😀
Blessings to you all, 😀
Susan, I understand and thank you for further clarifying. I think I understand more now, after your comments here. LOL, I had a chuckle about your possible Arminium streak… hmmm, I think I may have a Calvinistic streak or two in me as I agree wholeheartedly with Calvinist-sided comments 😉 But, we won’t go there, lol!!!
🙂 Susan, thanks!
My name is Catherine, or Cathybeth (because I like putting my two names together for the ‘classic old fashioned country gal’ in me). Hubby and I put our two names together to come up with alecat …. so even though I can be called many names, I’m still me. :hugright:
Hi Susan,
I think what you write reflects pieces of your life journey. I started blogging after I saw “someone ;)” elses and realised what an encouragment it was to me. The things written were not directing me but giving me food for thought. I started blogging after that to just put my thought and concerns about this life journey somewhere other than my head. Then I realised that by doing that it was also encouraging others even if I did not know it. I have enjoyed reading about your spiritual journey the most though as it is ever changing and ever growing as I feel mine is and I identify with that. It makes me sad that people felt that they had to comment on your online “persona”. To me, that was you sorting through what was in your head and what a mind you have to put your thoughts so nicely into words!!
Even though we have never met irl I bet we would have lots to chat about over a cuppa if we did!!
xx Karen in Melbourne
Hi Karen,
I bet our poor children wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgeways! :-))
I find it easiest to know my blog is ‘out there’ on the web with regular readers- readers who actually do follow the blog because they tend to get to know me (like yourself) and can follow along throughout months and years. I guess I struggle a little with the one off visitor who reads one post and forms an opinion…yet they don’t know the path I’ve walked, or what shoes I’ve worn in order to be here. I know that is part of life but with moving around so often and ‘starting again’ in new churches and new locations it just wears a little thin.
Tehee, sometimes I’ve thought about removing the contact form from the site so no one (other than regular readers) can email me. But I don’t.
Thanks Karen, you are a sweetie- even if you aren’t blogging regularly. 😉
Hmmm….well, I write to share the journey but I like asking questions. I like discussion ~ civilized, rational, informed discussion. I don’t like to be hectored but I admit, I do rather wonder some days what the Holy Spirit needs to do to get us all on the same page! lol
Hehee. This side of eternity? On the same page? He-haa!