It’s been 16 and a half years since Mum passed away. I visited my Mum’s grave last week. And as happened in the past I got angry and frustrated. With myself. I don’t believe she is in the grave. Her body is but her soul has crossed from this earth and this time to that of eternity. I don’t see why the burial plot should hold significance for me. I don’t see why it has emotions tied to it. Right?
But it does.
And that frustrates me. Why do I get sad and upset and emotional when visiting her grave, even though I know she’s not there? I know that grief isn’t wrapped up in neat little bundles… that it manifests itself in many different ways and at all sorts of odd times. Yet I can’t seem to accept this for myself. My reasoning says I shouldn’t be emotional but I am. The real part of me knows that it is normal to feel like this yet on the same hand I am frustrated that I do. Am I denying my emotions?
Humans… Were a weird mob.