One week down only five more weeks to go.
The house is clean, tidy and everything has a place and (here’s the real miracle) everything is actually in its place! A few weeks ago, my dad visited and stayed with us for 3 weeks. During that time Damian also popped over and stayed for a few nights. So in this fairly small house that barely fits six of us, there were 8 people! Chaotic, unruly, disorganised…doesn’t even begin to describe it. Now, however it is clean and tidy. But missing many people. My dad and Damian went home. John has gone to Victoria for a 6 week course and Miss R is not at home.
It’s quiet, too quiet. It’s clean; too clean. I’m reminded of that saying: When something seems too good to be true, it usually is. There are only four of us in the house. No wonder it’s clean!
I have nothing to write! Well, that’s not exactly true. I have a mind that is overwhelmed with thoughts, ideas and questions but nothing fit for public web consumption. I’m not feeling terribly encouraged in anything at the moment…so it’s probably best for me to be quiet during such times. I become cynical when I read many of the popular parenting blogs or articles. I just don’t have the joy, joy, joy deep in my heart at the moment like so many others do. I don’t have a husband who does everything for me- housework, yardwork, finances, cooking, etc while I sit at the table and instruct the children in the ways of the Lord. I just don’t have perfect children who hardly ever need guidance and correction.
Now I love my husband and my children very much…and in reality I’m not complaining about them or my lot in life. I am speaking about how I feel when I read too many books or blogs where everyone else life seems so perfect and hunky dory…where a post isn’t written without one quoting Scripture that apparently ties in with the theme. Pffftt! Don’t give me a throw away line from the Bible. Tell me what it really means to you. Tell me what you learned from it or how it impacted your life. Don’t just shove it in at the end of a post and think that you’ve written an encouraging blog post! Sometimes I wonder if some Christians aren’t so overly spiritual that they’re of no earthly use!
Yes I do have joy- deep seated joy at knowing I have been given eternal life with the Father God…but that isn’t the same as being happy, happy, happy in everyday circumstances. Is it?
Hmm, I’m frustrated. With life. My life. I want to meet more people. I want to serve people. I want to have relationships, more relationships. I think I’m hungry…hungry for true fellowship – giving and receiving.
What am I doing with my life? With my time? What will stay and be remembered or what will have impacted people long after I’m gone? My blog? AussieHomeschool? A book? A clean house?
Argh, I’m longing for some adult conversation…I usually talk with John. He is my best friend, my lover, confidante and my play-mate. If you’ve ever seen us work on our computers together you’ll know what I mean by play-mate. But you can see why I need adult conversation- to mull over the thoughts in my head. John isn’t here so I’ll blog it, which isn’t as good but it will have to do. Maybe short, rambly, incoherent posts that show the maniacal thoughts of a Christian homeschool mum will still be able to give glory to God, in a small way…even if there is not a scripture quote splattered at the end or lovely pictures of well behaved and immaculately dressed children accompanying every post. 😉