We started the learning-at-home adventure toward the end of 1996, so this is our 13th year. Over that time I have been bamboozled, ferhoodled, and lacking in confidence through to confident, visionary and fulfilled. I have gone through a many seasons, each bringing their own emotions, ups and downs. On the AussieHomeschool forum, a dear lady asked the following questions:
Come on ladies, tell me – who has some secrets for keeping your cool? How do we get a grip on those flaky days? Any overcomers out there?
It’s not often that I get to answer in the positive in things like this… but I’d really have to say that after 13 years of home based learning and raising 4-5 children, I am an overcomer! I am surviving and so are the children!
No, it’s not because I am perfect or that I have it together– because nothing could be further from the truth. So, what is my secret? Can others experience this peace too?
Trust. Surrender
Knowing that this journey is also about me. Knowing that this journey is more about relationships than academics.
I have a temper. And a short fuse although, by the grace of God and learning to practice the presence of God, it is lengthening. I also have a potty mouth. I have been known, in the past, to speak in a way that cuts people to the core, leaving them drowning in a pool of blood. I hated myself. I hated my actions and the complete lack of self control I had over my emotions and my tongue. And yes, sadly, my older children do remember my propensity toward uncontrollable, verbal rage. I am thankful for the Cross, and its power to heal. My journey does not end there, That was who I was, not who I am.
- I have learned that homeschooling is not about perfection or anything closely resembling it, but it is about developing relationships.
- I’ve learned that homeschooling is an extension of parenting and this is still the same whether or not my child attends public school, private school, homeschool books or unschooling.
- I’ve learned that homeschooling is not a goal… it is a process. I’ve learned that the children growing up to *look like* a perfect homeschooler is just nowhere near good enough.
- I’ve learned that this homeschooling journey isn’t about academics, nor is it even about character, for character will not get anyone into heaven!
The goal of this homeschooling business is that I should become so dependent upon God that I fall onto my knees daily, seeking His face, hungering after a touch from Him. Parenting should drive me to my knees!
What does this practically mean when I’m knee deep in laundry and eating cereal or toast for tea? It means that there is an eternal reason for all this mess, untidiness, and constant training. That reason is that God wants ALL of us- our entire life. Our goal is to love God and glorify Him forever – in the midst of spilled Weetbix and poopy nappies and children that can’t spell.
I know this isn’t the most practical advice you’ve ever heard but in all honesty, it is truth and reality for me. I’ve tried everything over the years. I’ve tried great schedules, quiet times, days off, and all those other things but for me, they are all temporary reprieves. Seeking after the heart of God in earnest, before ALL other things is the only way I have been able to flourish, not just survive.
The only practical thing I can offer is that this too shall pass. Things do get easier. As the children get older, as they invariably do, things will get easier. I promise. Of course, the developing ages bring their own unique set of curve balls but again, it’s back to the beginning…
What is the chief end of man?
Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.
Photo credit: Forgiven by Greg Olsen Art
Well said Susan! Thankyou! :-))
Always love to read your perspective and wisdom. Food for thought as always to this homeschool mum who is just starting out:)
Ahhhhhhh so true, we are not museums but workshops……..
There are those that think Homeschool will make GOOD chn…..but after 13 years I too have seen that is NOT true…..what I have seen is growth/ development/ freedom/ reality/ sin revealed/ change in my kids too
Hey are we so different from any other true Christian parent homeschooling or not???………..Just because we Homeschool does not mean we will produce ALL things lovely and Godly……just like going to McDonalds does not make us a burger……..
We are just privileged to be able to be with our kids a little longer…….have a wee bit more influence….and press into God in sheer desperation…….in my case it was FLESH driving me to God (my ugly flesh too)….but where sin is GRACE abounds………thanks Jesus without you I am nothing.
Thanks Susan, you are a gem of honesty in this world of expectations and comparison………..
Love ya girl
Cath
Thanks ladies! Cathy, I’m not so sure that we are any different from other Christian parents – we simply made a choice to educate our children at home… that’s why my focus, over the last few years, has really changed from a homeschool mentality toward a parenting mentality. Having one child who went to school opened my eyes to the fact that I hadn’t changed my parenting style- we changed a decision as to how we that child should be educated in the area of academics.
I firmly believe that homeschooling is a natural extension of parenting, not separate or different from it.
I think it is true too, there are so many Godly parents who I know that have sent their kids to public and private schools “produced ” on fire and passionate Christians who go on to change their world and have an impact, I also know committed Godly parents who have Homeschooled their kids and “produced” rebellious and difficult kids, that struggle with religion and “homeschooling”, what is the solution???
This is NOT a discouragement, but an encouragement to focus on God not on a theory or concept………….i reckon we MUST parent/school/teach/live & love with grace in place……grace to love forgive accept & develop our kids from where they are at (not where we want them to be, or think they are)
I blogged about it ages ago, an old Bible College Lecturer was a convicting messenger to me! She challenged me to parent and teach by the Spirit..
http://toomanyflowers.aussiehomeschoolblog.com/archives/358
Anyway I loved what you said…..
“Having one child who went to school opened my eyes to the fact that I hadn’t changed my parenting style- we changed a decision as to how we that child should be educated in the area of academics.”
What a freedom we have in God!!! I rejoice in it.
Bless you Susan
Cath
Hi Susan,
I have found that if I’m right with God, everything else is usually right, too. 🙂
Have a wonderful and blessed week,
Jillian ♥
Yes homeschooling is a process and an extension of our parenting. I have learnt along with my kids1 I have been as stretched in my personal growth as much as them. God has schooled me as I have schooled them!
It is through Christ’s strength that I live!
I know you had no idea when you wrote it, but the Holy Spirit just met with me in the most beautiful way as I read this line Susan…
‘Our goal is to love God and glorify Him forever – in the midst of spilled Weetbix and poopie nappies and children that can’t spell’.
Thank you so much for being yourself and sharing your life with us.
Much love!
Lus x
Lusi,
Do you have any idea of how encouraging you are? You have a real gift of gentle encouragement. Thank you sister. 🙂
Thank you for your honesty, your courage and your insight Susan xox